LAST month we reported the first part of our discussion with Charles R. Ausherman, director of Church World Services Planned Parenthood Program. In explaining our position, we used statements from the Spirit of Prophecy indicating the Christian responsibility and standards of husband and wife in bringing children into the world. Ellen White emphasized the burden not only upon the parents and children themselves but on society in general if a husband and wife increased their family without thought of proper care, food, clothing, and education for them. This concept of burdening society with uncared-for children was not generally understood in the days when this counsel was given to God's people. Even today earth's masses are insensible to these thoughts.
The next question was, How should a family be limited? What about the use of contraceptives as legitimate methods of limiting family size? Are sexual relations reserved exclusively for procreation purposes? The Spirit of Prophecy says nothing directly about the use of contraceptives. Open discussion on this point seventy-five years ago was taboo. But broad, general principles are definitely laid down that render sufficient evidence on which a practical conclusion can be drawn.
"Sexual Excess"
First we established the principle of family planning. This principle is clear and positive. Next we read to Mr. Ausherman statements concerning marital relations. We pointed out that Ellen White repeatedly emphasized that "sexual excess" is frowned upon by God. Notice some of these statements: "Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional exercises." ---The Adventist Home, p. 124. (Italics supplied.)
Reference is made to the wife's responsibility in possessing her body "in sanctification and honor." "She cannot debase her body by yielding to sexual excess."—Ibid., p. 126. (Italics supplied.)
Again, "Many parents do not obtain the knowledge that they should in the married life. They are not guarded lest Satan take advantage of them and control their minds and their lives. They do not see that God requires them to control their married lives from any excesses."—Testimonies, vol. 2, p. 472. (Italics supplied.)
"A Blessing Is Made a Curse"
It follows that if there's a possibility of excess in any action, certainly there must be a normal and right standard of sexual involvement. We define true temperance as being a moderate use of that which is good, and a total abstinence from that which is harmful. The possibility of an excess in the marital relationship indicates that a proper sex act falls in the category of that which is good.
A careful reading of all these statements of Ellen White concerning "sexual excess" fails to produce a single word or hint of sexual intercourse being restricted to pro creation. She deals with the concept of base passions and sexual excesses versus the right and proper relationship.
Note the balancing statements in these passages of marital duties and privileges: "The bedchamber, where angels of God should preside, is made unholy by unholy practices. . . . That which God has given as a blessing is made a curse." The Adventist Home, p. 124. Again she states, "When the husband has the nobility of character, purity of heart, elevation of mind that every true Christian must possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation." Ibid., p. 125. Referring to men whose uncontrollable passion makes them worse than brutes, she declares, "They are unacquainted with the elevating, ennobling principles of true, sanctified love." --Ibid.
Birth Control Not Outlawed
After reading these statements to Mr. Ausherman, we connected the two concepts together the first, previously discussed in last month's article with the necessity of family planning; and the second, one of moderate sexual relations within the framework of pure, true, respectful love.
From a scriptural standpoint, Paul's advice in 1 Corinthians 7 indicates that pro creation is not necessarily the goal of sexual union. Verse 2 declares, "Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband" (R.S.V.). Immorality is based, not on the temptation to have children, but rather to gratify the sexual lust of the flesh. If this is true, the point Paul makes of having your own husband and wife certainly includes, among other things, the satisfaction and delight of normal sexual relations other than that of procreation.
Paul further emphasizes this concept in verses eight and nine: "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion" (R.S.V.). It doesn't say it is better to marry than to go childless!
In verse thirty-six, Paul further states, "If any one thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry it is no sin" (R.S.V.). There is nothing in this text that dictates that sexual relationships must be for the purpose of bringing children into the world.
Would we be doing an injustice to the Bible or to the Spirit of Prophecy writings by stating that the combination of the two principles set forth in the Spirit of Prophecy plus Paul's admonition does not out law proper methods of birth control that are not injurious to a person's health? We think not!
Marriage Is No Port for Lust!
The unconsecrated may use the above passages to support gratification of sexual lust. Those who do so will do it to their own destruction. Paul emphasizes the tender, pure relationship that ought to exist between husband and wife. "Men ought to give their wives the love they naturally have for their own bodies. The love a man gives his wife is the extending of his love for himself to enfold her. Nobody ever hates or neglects his own body; he feeds it and looks after it" (Eph. 5:25-27, Phillips).*
Peter sets forth the same concept. "In the same way, you husbands must conduct your married life with understanding: pay honour to the woman's body, not only because it is weaker, but also because you share together in the grace of God which gives you life. Then your prayers will not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7, N.E.B.).f No man who is striving for the kingdom will permit his lustful passions to be master in the marriage relationship. True love is not synonymous with passion.
An understanding of the principles and spirit of rightful sexual relations demands respect and self-control. This understanding comes only through a daily surrender to the will of God. When the love of Christ possesses the mind of both husband and wife, the future promises a more intimate spiritual and physical union bathed in greater joys and happiness. Self-respect and dignity are additional by-products of this sort of union. How few in our sex-crazed world have experienced this truth.
On the other hand, if selfish physical passion controls, the inevitable result will be mutual dissatisfaction, disgust, and revulsion. Many a husband and wife are veterans at being bruised and wounded on the rocks of savage passion. They sense not that "passion of just as base a quality may be found in the marriage relation as outside of it" (The Adventist Home, p. 124).
For husband and wife to walk the correct path in marital relations requires sanctified judgment and self-control. As in other areas of life, the danger of extremism is ever present. Innocent relationships can so easily be channeled into the ditches of inordinate desires and practices. Overemphasis of mere physical union can lead to disaster. True love is a beautiful balance of the mental, physical, and spiritual, keeping constant guard against any excesses or perversions. Make certain that pure love dictates every action of the husband and wife, thus making marriage of lasting benefit. "If love be of the mind and heart as well as of the body, it will be ever sensitive to any element that threatens it; and when ever it appears to the husband and the wife that their physical union produces, not a deeper spiritual love, but rather a sense of satiety, of dissatisfaction with each other, or, more alarming, repugnance, they need to act upon the danger signal. The farther away they keep from this experience, the safer is their love. And the more they cultivate their spiritual and intellectual natures, the more will the mutual pleasures of their society be their satisfaction, and the less frequently down to the proper limit---will they feel the physical call of sex." --The Home Physician, p. 676.
* The New Testament in Modern English, © J. B. Phillips 1958. Used by permission of The Macmillan Company.
† The New English Bible, New Testament. The Delegates of the Oxford University Press and the Syndics of the Cambridge Press 1961. Reprinted by permission.
