Soul Hunger Satisfied
My lot has been cast with the Seventh-day Adventist people from childhood. It was in the latter part of my teens that I gave my heart to God and began serving Him to the best of my knowledge. Since that time there has elapsed a period of approximately forty years, during which I have never regretted the choice I made. The third angel's message has afforded satisfaction to me. I have never doubted the ultimate triumph of this message. The apostasies of leading men, or the seeming delay in the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, have in no way dimmed my faith. Yet during all these years, until within very recent months, there has been lacking in my experience that abiding trust in the operation of the Holy Spirit that should characterize the life of the Christian. In my soul there has been a real hunger for a life that would measure with that of the Master, but how to attain to that life was an unsolved problem.
Advancement in the Christian life has been made through the years, but it has been very slow, for I have had to go back over the road so many times. Again and again the study of the deeper Christian life has resulted in clearer vision, but not in satisfaction rightfully mine. I seemed to be always traveling toward the goal set before the child of God, but never reaching it. The dissatisfaction with myself has led me often to special study of the Bible and the Spirit of prophecy, in the hope of finding a way to rectify my mistakes and clear up the scars that sin had left; but after all my endeavors to get right, I would soon find myself back in the old ways.
For me to say that I have not been benefited by these experiences in study and prayer, would be to do despite to the Holy Spirit, for it is indeed true that the Lord has heard and answered prayer, and has strengthened me in my sincere resolve; but because of failure to understand the working of the Spirit of God upon the heart, genuine satisfaction was not realized.
It has been my custom, since the year 1914, to add to my library the books selected as the Reading Course for ministers and workers, and I have always faithfully read the books. For the course of 1929, one of the books selected was entitled, "The Coming of the Comforter." This book did not interest me in particular above other books, so I left it until next to the last book in the course. But when I began to read this book, there came to me the conviction that herein was provided the explanation which would enable me to settle the problem with which I had been secretly wrestling so long, the nature of which I had never been able to comprehend fully. I therefore read the book carefully, and reread certain portions; and as I studied the question which had been in my mind for years, regarding the sanctuary and its connection with the indwelling of the Holy) Spirit, the words of the psalmist came to me with great force: "The Lord hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee; send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion."
Since that time, perplexing problems have been solved with less anxiety, and the results are most satisfying. The study of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit has brought peace into my soul and joy into my life. I cannot boast, but I know the administration of conference affairs has become simplified, and my life is brighter.
A Conference President.
