It is good that ministers give counsel to parents concerning the nature and the training of children and youth. But it is not good that ministers preach to fathers and mothers in the presence of their children concerning the faults of parents, the rights of children, and the insatiable and undeniable demands of youth.
A mother just now said to me: "Elder Blank spoke in our church last Sabbath, and he preached to parents about their children in the presence of those children. After the meeting my sixteen-year-old daughter came to me and said, 'Mother, you heard what that man said, that if the children are not given what they should have at home, they will go somewhere else to get it.* " "Ally heart sank," said this mother, "and I did not know what to say or do; for Viola is thoroughly convinced that she needs some things which I think she should have neither at home nor anywhere else."
Not long ago I heard a minister talk to a great audience of parents at a special Junior young people's meeting. In the presence of the Juniors he enumerated some of the problems parents have to meet in their preadolescent and early adolescent boys and girls. He said that a common trait of the Junior is prevarication; not that the Junior wishes to be a liar, but that to get what he wants or to escape punishment for some laxity or misdeed he will stretch the truth; and that the parent must not look for absolute veracity in their children of this age.
He said that another common fault is pilfering; not that the Junior wishes to be a thief, but that when his eyes covet a desirable ornament or when his mouth waters at sight of a delectable confection, his natural urge of acquisitiveness will overcome him, and he will take what is not his; and that parents must not expect absolute probity in their Junior children. And so he went on to tell of various defects in child nature which would make problems for parents. And the children sat there and drank it all in.
Now, even though all this be true, would it not be the part of wisdom to consider the effect of such statements, not only upon the adult audience, but also upon the juvenile hearers? Will it assist the boy or girl to be good, to hear that the devil has implanted almost ineradicably in his nature the elements of evil? Will it assist parents to guide their young folks in the right way, to have those young people informed equally with themselves that youth will have its way?
I do not believe in any conspiracy of ministry and parenthood against childhood and youth. I do not believe in arbitrary repression of the natural instincts and impulses of our children. I believe there is altogether too much unintelligent repression on the part of parents, in the place of constructive leadership. But also I do not think that it is going to help either children or parents, to have a free and frank discussion in the presence of the children of those problems and perplexities which arise from the defects and deficiencies and misfortunes of child nature. Children need, not excuses for their juvenile sins, but encouragement and re-enforcement of their childish virtues. Young people need, not a portrayal of their parents' inefficiency, but a presentation of their own responsibility in home and society.
It is altogether wise that instruction to parents of a specific character, involving the natures and the problems of childhood and youth, be given to an audience of adults only, and that the corresponding instruction to children or youth be given to them from the angle which they can appreciate. They have not the experience and the consequent vision to enable them to interpret correctly all the instruction given to parents. And even though the same facts that are given to parents should be given to the children or youth, they should be given from a quite different viewpoint and with different imputations. Whereas parents may need to be sympathetic and sometimes lenient to the faults of their children, those children themselves need to be unbendingly strict with themselves.
Shall we not consider carefully, not only what we are going to say, but to whom we are going to say it? Shall we not adapt our speech and our thought to the audience we shall meet, and see to it that while we strike so as to propel parents in one direction, their children are not in such close juxtaposition that the stroke will send them in quite another direction?
"Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Tim. 2:15.
Washington, D. C.
