Some of the most faithful and appreciative readers of THE MINISTRY are ministers' wives. The principles discussed in these columns are often as vital to them as to their husbands. It is therefore fitting that we hear frequently from these more silent partners, whose value is above rubies. We accordingly asked Mrs. Schick for an article and received this helpful message.—EDITOR.
Although the hands of ordination have not been laid upon her, the minister's wife is called to a very special ministry. This ministry rendered by faithful sisters is a very definite part of God's great plan. When a young woman unites her life with that of a young man whom God has called into the holy office of the ministry, she must count well the cost. It is a life of sacrifice, a submerging of all plans and daily living into the lives of others. It is well if her natural aptitude is such that she enters this new life of service with cheerfulness and complete willingness to do all that God requires of her.
The giving of our lives to such a worth-while service calls for a complete surrender of ourselves to God. A grave responsibility rests upon us that we cannot lightly throw off. This responsibility cannot be rightfully discharged unless there is an utter emptying of self and a complete filling of the Holy Spirit. "Take me, Lord, and mold me and make me a vessel fit for Thy use," should be our constant prayer. Then there will be a hiding of self and an exalting of Jesus. We shall be guarded in our conversation, and our hearts will be made soft and sympathetic through the influence of the Holy Spirit. We shall be diligent students of the Word, so that we, too, can give to sin-sick souls a "word in season."
A proper educational background will be of great value to the minister's wife. Our own schools offer such a training. A thorough knowledge of the Bible and history is necessary. A minister's wife need not necessarily be an accomplished musician, but she should have some knowledge of sacred music and be able to play ordinary hymns. In our evangelistic work I have also found my knowledge of diet and healthful living very helpful. It has enabled me to present this-phase of our message to new converts in a practical way.
In Testimonies to Ministers we are given some helpful advice about our dress:
"Our ministers and their wives should be an example in plainness of dress; they should dress neatly, comfortably, wearing good material, but avoiding anything like extravagance and trimmings, even if not expensive; for these things tell to our disadvantage."—Page 180.
Not only our dress, but the way we conduct ourselves in general, the way we keep our homes and care for our children—all have a telling influence. If we are our own designer and dressmaker, we shall find that the salary a minister receives will go much farther. Lessons of economy and thrift need to be learned early in the minister's home. Our children need proper training. Sometimes the influence of a well-prepared sermon is lost because the pastor's small son is misbehaved or the daughter's mode of dress is not controlled.
Remembering always that our influence belongs to God will help us in making many decisions. We shall be judged according to what we ought to have done, as well as by the things we did. Let us never become by word or deed a stumbling block to others. Our lives should radiate cheerfulness, happiness, contentment, and the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. When this is true, we can be the help to our preacher-husbands that God intends us to be. We can do much to encourage our husbands when the way is a bit hard or wearisome. We can aid them in saving souls.
More is expected of the minister's wife than of others. Sometimes it is not the thing we say, but simply our presence and look of sympathy and understanding that bring comfort to some sorrowing one. Let us never be too busy to make necessary calls and visits. Often we can understand and reach some cases that the minister cannot. A sanctified wife is the greatest blessing a minister can have.
There are many ways in the church whereby we may show ourselves helpful. It is not wise, however well trained or talented we may be, to make a display of our talents. In most cases it is not wise for the minister's wife to hold a major office. If she does she, of necessity, gives most of her time to the one department. It is better to divide her interest among the many branches of service in the church, not urging her own ideas, but being helpful in her suggestions. There are those in our churches who feel, and perhaps rightfully so, that they understand quite fully just how the work should be carried on. They do not always react favorably to urgent suggestions by the minister's wife. Let us be tactful and always add a word of praise. It works wonders in keeping harmony.
Sometimes problems arise. Perhaps the problem is not a serious thing in itself, but it has the possibility of growing into large proportions if not carefully handled. At such a time we need to be as "wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." Ours must be a noncommittal attitude. Prayer for help and much tact are necessary when someone presses us for an opinion, or chooses to tell us some gossip. Let us be guarded in what we say, ever striving to see and magnify the good in others. Let us ever be ready to listen with a sympathetic ear to the heart cry of a soul in distress.
Whatever the circumstances, no resentment must creep into our hearts. When reviled, our Saviour reviled not again. No jealousy or evil. surmising will be in a real Christlike life. We must be less proud, less sensitive. We most love self less and be dead to self-interests. Our interests must be submerged in Christ. "I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me," should be our motto.
When an evangelistic meeting is in progress, the minister's wife will find many ways of being helpful. By her presence at the meetings, by greeting strangers, she can add much to the success of the campaign. As she becomes acquainted with the new believers, she will often learn of problems that confront them. Her attitude toward other workers in the group must not be one of superiority. A cheerful, helpful manner, always tactful, will encourage all to do their best.
Sometimes discouragement creeps in, and we may feel that the load is a heavy one. But we should seek to suppress any feelings of this kind.
I quote from Gospel Workers: "She should never urge her wishes and desires, or express a lack of interest in her husband's labor, or dwell upon homesick, discontented feelings. All these natural feelings must be overcome.... Some would enjoy a religion in which there are no crosses, and which calls for no self-denial and exertion on their part."—Page 202.
We must ever guard carefully our own health and the health of our families. The Master knew we needed periods of physical rest and relaxation when He said, "Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while." Mark 6:31.
Being a minister's wife is a full-time position. It brings many cares and many responsibilities, but the reward will be a glorious one. Stretching around this globe of ours is a great sisterhood of ministers' wives. We have similar problems and privileges. Our reward in eternity is assured, if we are faithful to the trust God has given us.
