A number of years ago, while attending a high school in Western Canada, I had the privilege of having a very fine teacher. All the students loved her. She was young, beautiful, and good. The news was that she planned to be married as soon as school was out, and of course the big question was: "To whom?" Some said, "A minister." A chorus of voices rang out, "Poor soul! What a pity! Now she'll never have any more fun." Looking at it from our youthful viewpoint, we really felt that way. How could anyone who had to go to church all the time have a good time?
Time has passed, and I myself have been a minister's wife for more than ten years, and part of this time a missionary's wife. Now I find that there are many blessings and privileges, as well as happiness and satisfaction, in filling this place in life.
No higher privilege can 'come to any young woman than that of being the wife, companion, and fellow worker of one ordained of God to herald this last message of warning to a perishing world. Happy that young woman who appreciates her privileges and responsibilities, approaching her sacred calling with a determination to do her part well. In all history, both sacred and secular, women have played an important part in the work of the world, and it will be so in the final great crisis.
The wife of a minister has two spheres—the church and the home. The minister's home should be a place where everything is done in an orderly way. It should be neat and clean, a place of cheerfulness and hospitality.
A WELL-ORDERED HOME.—The first responsibility of a minister's wife to the church is to have a representative home. If the home is not what it should be in every respect, her efforts for the church will not avail much. There she is mistress and can demonstrate the divine principles of this message. The home life of the minister's family has an important bearing on the success of his work, and everything should be done to make the home a vital factor in giving the last gospel message.
The minister's wife, therefore, plays an important part in the success of her husband's work. The keeping of a comfortable home, neat and clean, is not only a great help to the family itself but an example to the people among whom it is their privilege to labor.
"The first great business of your life is to be a missionary at home."—Testimonies, vol. 4, p. 538.
"A well-ordered Christian household is a powerful argument in favor of the reality of the Christian religion, —an argument that the infidel cannot gainsay. All can see that there is an influence at work in the family that affects the children, and that the God of Abraham is with them. If the homes of professed Christians had a right religious mold, they would exert a mighty influence for good. They would indeed be the 'light of the world.'" —Christian Service, p. 208.
"The restoration and uplifting of humanity begins in the home. The work of parents underlies every other. . . The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home infinences."—Ministry of Healing, p. 349.
While laboring in Borneo, we lived in Kuching, capital city of Sarawak. There were only about forty European families living there, and so it was an easy task to become acquainted. One of our first friends was Dr. Le Seur, an English physician. She was in attendance when our little boy was born. Knowing we were Adventists, she would always ask about the Youngbergs, who had lived there before we came. She would express appreciation for their friendship and often make remarks about their fine home and family.
Also in Kuching there was Mr. Reynolds, chief of the police force and head of the constabulary for Sarawak. On a number of occasions he visited with my husband, and he, too, evidenced a deep interest in the Youngberg family, asking where they were and how they were. He would add : "What a splendid Christian home! What fine children! How I would like to have such a home!" He had been a neighbor to them, and their home influence did much to speak for the truth and the work of our missionaries.
Later this godly family moved to Jesselton, in British North Borneo. Their home was as a light set on a hill. For it overlooked the harbor and town, and its influence spread to the community. Because there was no school there, Mrs. Youngberg conducted one in her home. Many of the European fathers asked her to tutor their children. This she did with good success. She not only had school for them but boarded them, took them to church, and many times made clothes for them. This greatly impressed the parents, and the good results soon spread.
"If married men go into the work, leaving their wives to care for the children at home, the wife and mother is doing fully as great and important a work as the husband and father. Although one is in the missionary field, the other is a home missionary, whose cares and anxieties and burdens frequently far exceed those of the husband and father. Her work is a solemn and important one,—to mold the minds and fashion the characters of her children, to train them for usefulness here, and fit them for the future, immortal life. The husband in the open missionary field may receive the honors of men, while the home toiler may receive no earthly credit for her labor. But if she works for the best interests of her family, seeking to fashion their characters after the divine Model, the recording angel writes her name as one of the greatest missionaries in the world."—Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 594-
Responsibilities in the Church
The minister's wife should ever try to maintain a buoyant attitude toward her own work and toward that of her husband. A magnanimous spirit will help her to rise above trifling things that cause some to lose their vision and become discouraged. This attitude comes as a result of complete trust in God and His assurances. Much prayer and study of the Word of God will cause one to know the ways of God, and will be a constant inspiration to live a life of service for others.
Perhaps the first responsibility of a minister's wife, outside the home, is to become acquainted with all the church members, being friends to all, and ignoring factions if there be any. She should acquaint herself with the activities of the church, be faithful in attendance at Sabbath school and prayer meeting, manifest an interest, and if possible assist when asked to do so. Above all, she should watch for strangers and give them a friendly handclasp and a cordial invitation to visit the chureh again.
The minister's wife must be winsome, lovable, and dependable, able to use tact and good common sense. Her highest interest should be in the Christian life and the saving of souls. She should not be worldly, frivolous, uncharitable, or inclined to gossip. It would be well if she could devote the equivalent of one day's time a week to visiting the sick and those in special need, as well as the members in general.
The wise wife will not undertake to be at the head of all the organizations of the church. It is much better for her to help train others for leadership. It is as much an art to know what not to do in a church as to know what to do. There are many avenues in which the minister's wife can help : The Dorcas Society, the Sabbath school, as one of the deaconnesses, as organist, etc.
It is important that she be an example to the believers—in dress, in word, in conversation, in love, in spirit, in faith, and purity. As she reviews the many ways in which she can help, and the multitude of things she should do and should not do, she cannot help but think of this text : "Who is sufficient for these things ?" 2 Cor. 2 :16. As she compares what she does with what she might do, she finds she conies far short; but she should take courage and ever press toward the goal of becoming all that it is possible for her to become in Christ Jesus.
Proper Distribution of Time
One great problem of the minister's wife is the proper distribution of time. It is necessary for her to have flexibility and adaptability to changes in circumstances. She has many interruptions, and yet must be patient through it all. She never knows just what each clay will bring forth or what to expect. One day, when I thought I could not be busier, I answered the doorbell. An old friend was at the door. He had just returned from fourteen months' combat duty on the carrier Lexington. After welcomes and greetings he explained his desires. He had just purchased new uniforms and asked whether I had time to help him shorten the trousers and sew the stripes and insignia on the sleeves. The tailors were too busy, and he needed them soon. It was quite a job, but I did the best I could for him. I felt well repaid when
saw how happy he was when he received them the next evening. There is satisfaction and happiness that comes in doing things for others that we can obtain in no other way.
In 1939, while in Kuala Lumpar, capital of the Malay States, I was awakened at five o'clock one morning. I heard a voice crying, and saying, "Mrs. Nerness, my baby is dying." It was one of our young Chinese brothers. I tried to comfort him and help. Later in the morning we took the baby to a European doctor, and he arranged for hospitalization. The next morning at six the telephone revealed that the baby had died in the night. This fine young couple had been studying their Bible and praying most of the night. After securing a plain wooden coffin from a Chinese shop, we covered and frilled it with white rayon satin inside and out, and made a soft little pillow. Then we went to the morgue, dressed the baby, and placed her in her last resting place. She had been such a sweet baby, and only eight months old. How mother and daddy loathed giving her up. The services over, much time was given to consoling and comforting these dear ones.
I relate these experiences to show that a minister's wife never knows what she will be called upon to do. But with the Lord's help and guidance she can do much for others, and gain a rich experience in loving service.
If faithful to her God-given duty, the minister's wife will, like the daughters of the king in the ancient psalm, be as a cornerstone, "polished after the similitude of a palace." In character she will be solid and reliable as a cornerstone. In culture she will be gracious and charming, and by her ready sympathy and unselfish spirit she will find an appropriate place in the great pattern of life.
