Shepherdess

Shepherdess-"Helps" -the Sixth Gift of the Spirit

To everyone filled with the Spirit of God this precious gift of "helps" is imparted.

Loma Linda, California

PART I

We hear sermons on the gifts of the Spirit, in which all the eight gifts listed by the apostle Paul in I Corinthians 12:28 are set forth and explained-all except the sixth in the list, the one called "helps." And yet, where only a few are fitted to be governors, or teachers, or healers, there are scores who are blessed with this simple, useful gift. To everyone filled with the Spirit of God this precious gift of "helps" is imparted. But especially does the minister's wife find abundant opportunity for exercising it to the glory of God and the edification of the church.

To learn how this spiritual gift of "helps" is actually used, I have interviewed many ministers, young, old, and retired, asking: "In what way has your wife been the greatest help to you in your ministerial work?" Their answers may point the way for younger shepherdesses, although it would take a superwoman to combine all the qualities and abilities mentioned. 

When I met the young minister at my door, it was easy to see that he had his answer ready. He was soon seated, and began: "You wanted to know how my wife has helped me most in pastoral evangelism. Well, she has helped me in a thousand ways; I couldn't begin to tell it all. First and most important, I believe, is the fact that she maintains such a good Christian experience of her own that she lifts me spiritually by the very atmosphere she brings into the home. She prays and reads her Bible faithfully, and we often pray together. It is heartening to reality that we are doing everything together; I am not doing anything alone. There is a sense of comradeship, of partnership, that gives me confidence and strength. She stands back of me and supports me in everything I do. When my efforts result in success, we thank the Lord. When I make blunders and mistakes, she shares the responsibility with me, and we try less n f r he future

"She is an ideal mother too. If she were allowing our children to grow up disobedient and unruly, it would handicap me in my ministry, because, you remember, the apostle Paul says, 'If a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?' But when, with God's help, we can show other members of the community what a Christian home should be, my preaching has greater effect. She spends time with the children. When they run into difficulties and bring questions to her, she takes the trouble to help them reason out their answers. While our nine-year-old son practices his music lessons, she sits down beside him with her sewing and helps him over the hard places. Our little daughter of seven makes her own bed and helps cook the meals. She is now learning to make bread. In my ministry I am able to uphold Christian standards of living without embarrassment, because my wife is careful to see that our family does not disregard them.

"Another thing I must mention is her wonderful hospitality. We do a great deal of entertaining. She is a good cook and a good conversationalist. This brings· us into friendly relationship with the church members. She is economical, and manages to stretch the preacher's dollar and make it meet our most urgent needs. She makes her own clothes and the daughter's, and sometimes shirts and trousers for the son. "And she's a good stenographer. With all her other duties, she takes time to do my secretarial work. This forenoon I dictated fifteen letters to her. When we were pastoring a church that was unable to print weekly bulletins, she cut the stencils and mimeographed them herself.

"My wife helps me considerably in gathering material for sermons. When in her reading she comes across a story that she thinks is appropriate for a sermon illustration, she calls my attention to it, and frequently types out items on cards 4 by 6 inches, and files them for me always played the piano and helped with the solo work. Yet, with it all, she knows how to keep herself in the background, and not appear to be 'stealing the limelight.' Perhaps I've said enough; but when I get started talking about my wife, I don't know when to stop!" He paused for breath. "I'm on my third page of shorthand notes," I remarked; "the Lord certainly has given you a wonderful helper. But go on with your story -unless you are afraid of discouraging the other young wives.'' "There's one thing I mustn't forget," he continued; "she is my best critic when I speak, reminding me at times of the counsel we have been given to use simple language and to avoid long prayers in public. Sometimes she makes notes of undesirable expressions I use in the pulpit. But her criticisms are always constructive, and given in such a pleasant way that I welcome them.

"And her ability at counseling-that has been a real asset. Many of the members in our church come to her for advice as readily as they come to me. Sometimes when I am away she prays and counsels with them, and thus satisfies their needs." "Does she know how much you appreciate her?" I asked. ''I'm sure she does, and yet she always seems surprised when I speak of it. She never seeks praise for herself. There's much more I could say. I never see her idle. She is both Martha and Mary, always helping someone in her sweet, quiet way. I could never get along without my wife; I'd be lost without her; I just wouldn't know what to do." After his "Good-by," watching his light step as he passed down ·the walk and out to his car, I thought to myself, What a joyous task awaits every minister's wife who will qualify for her high calling! How it would thrill the heart of this shepherdess if she could have heard what her shepherd husband had been telling me! It would be next to hearing the words "Well done" from the lips of the great Chief Shepherd Himself. "My wife is a soul winner," said another minister; "she has a deep personal interest in people. She has a faculty of warming up to people and winning their confidence. This is a great help to a pastor when he visits homes, especially the homes of backsliders, who are likely to be unfriendly or even bitter. She is always happiest when I am engaged in pastoral evangelism. She feels that I can do my best work there, and her greatest interest is in helping people make their decision to become Christians and in showing them how to surrender their lives to Christ.

"She always finds it easy to amuse children and make them happy. Their love for her opens hearts and doors for us everywhere. She seems to understand the women's problems, and has often been able to give counsel that helps them bring their husbands to the point of decision. When we were in the mission field, her understanding attitude toward the native women would break down prejudice and open the way for whole families to accept the gospel truth. She taught the mothers how to feed and clothe their children in harmony with the standards of good health. She would take the little ones in her arms; and even before she had a speaking knowledge of the language, she was somehow able to make them feel that she loved them.

"My wife never flatters me, but she does encourage me in my work. She has always been my best counselor, offering suggestions that no one else would dare to propose. Because of these suggestions, I have been able to improve my methods of ministry and my preaching in a manner that I could never have done without her help. She has urged me to smile pleasantly when I address the people, to bring more stories into my sermons, and, of course, to close on time. She once said, 'I think a minister is able to accomplish twice as much good if he speaks with vigor and cheerfulness.' Sometimes my own intuition tells me that I have violated a rule of public speaking, and I am able to mention it to her before she has a chance to speak of·it." One afternoon a veteran missionary called, and in the course of our conversation he spoke of some things that no one else had mentioned, and I jotted them down:

"Two outstanding qualities possessed by my wife were her cheerful willingness to break up housekeeping and move to another location whenever we were asked to do so, and her ingenuity and dexterity in renewing secondhand furniture and making our home into a love nest with little expense or fuss. The whole family, especially our two growing boys, learned to treat every move as a picnic. "Then too, she helped me by criticizing not only my sermons but also my letters. When I had a particularly delicate situation to deal with through the mail, I would ask her, 'How does this letter strike you? Can the wording be improved? Do you think it will be kindly received? Have I stated the matter in the most convincing and tactful manner?' As a result of her critical reading, my letters were sometimes rewritten. I believe that a wife who knows how to apply such 'preventive medicine' can save many sore hearts and sore heads ·among her husband's correspondents." "In all gospel ministry, a wife is the most important partner." This time it was a younger man speaking. "When I am visiting my flock, my shepherdess accompanies me. Her presence is essential when it is necessary to call at a home where the husband is likely to be away. Sometimes I have studies with women whose husbands are not interested. At such times I always take my wife with me, and also our small children, if necessary.

"As the time nears for a public meeting I am usually in the study engaged with my associates in prayer and last-minute preparations. While I am thus occupied, my wife takes her stand at the church door and welcomes the new converts and Bible readers as they come in. "She has always been my right-hand secretary when out in evangelistic work. Yet she keeps our home in first-rate, tiptop condition. I am never afraid to invite people to our home at any time of day, and I can feel sure that they will step into a clean and tidy house. She keeps my clothes and those of the children in order and spotlessly clean. An unkempt, disheveled wife and a disorderly house bear an adverse testimony to our message; but good taste, cleanliness, and order are great assets.

Luxurious furnishings, however, are not necessary. On the contrary, they often give an unfavorable impression, sometimes even causing embarrassment to those who are accustomed to simple things, and denying the words of the Saviour, 'A man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.' " Said another pastor, "A woman can help a preacher in the matter of his appearance. We are often so engrossed in our multitudinous duties that we are not keenly aware of the way we look. One time I put on a green shirt and a blue tie, but fortunately my wife noticed it before I could get out of the door!" 

Another mister paid this tribute: "One thing I greatly appreciate in my wife is the calm, easy way in which she manages our four lively boys. When it was necessary for me to be away from home on long trips, I had no fear that their home training would be interrupted. Her word was respected equally with mine. Of course we were always careful to speak respectfully to each other and not to engage in controversies before our children. On rare occasions when physical punishments were required, they were administered promptly, and always in the spirit of helpfulness-as an aid to memory. She began when they were young enough to forget all unpleasant experiences with the twig, and to retain in memory. only those wholesome habits of life to which these unpleasant experiences had contributed. She rarely repeated commands, being of the opinion that repetition weakens authority. If the boys were guilty of some misdemeanor, such as laughing or whispering in church, a reproving look or a snap of her finger was sufficient to remind them that they were forgetting the rules of proper behavior. A good wife and mother is a treasure in any home, but particularly in that of a minister."

Loma Linda, California

April 1954

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