Let us interview several more ministers concerning the help their wives give them. "My wife's help at the piano and organ was one of her largest single public contributions said an experienced and successful evangelist. "She also accompanied me in my visiting program, sharing the responsibility of calling upon the people. Many times when I did not know what to do in a given situation, I would excuse myself, and she would remain to talk with the mother about family relations, personal health habits, the care of the children, or other perplexing problems, while I made another call.
"Her knowledge of dietetics and healthful cookery enabled her to give practical assistance to wives who were afraid of undertaking to live up to the Adventist standard of health. She gave instruction in cookery both in public and in private. In our evangelism we would often put on a cooking demonstration. Before the sermon began she would step to the front, and while I read a recipe, she would put the ingredients together and slip the dish into a gas oven that was set up on the platform. At the close of the service we would take the food out of the oven and pass samples around for the people to taste.
"When I started in the ministry my wife gave her entire time, aside from necessary household duties, to helping me, solving soul-winning problems, writing friendly letters, arranging visiting cards and records of interests, thus relieving me of much detail and giving me more time to attend to my official duties. I have always felt that it is disastrous for a young man starting in the ministry to have his wife occupied with some unrelated employment. A wife who is willing to make the necessary sacrifices and live within a limited budget may be of inestimable help to her husband. "A young wife who is a mother can give well-rounded, practical counsel to other mothers. We adopted children, not only that we might have the joy of their presence in our home, but also that we might gain a better understanding of human relations. When we first came to the Seminary as students, my wife, instead of working to earn money, attended classes right along with me. She took classes in evangelism, Bible doctrines, and history. This kept her intellectually alert and added to her efficiency as a minister's wife. The financial arrangements made by the conference for Seminary students provided us with a sufficient budget to meet our necessities, and we both felt that her additional training for service was of infinitely more value than a little money saved up for possible future needs." My opportunities to make personal contacts with all the ministers in a large area being limited, I resorted to the telephone. "In my opinion, one of the most important acquisitions for a minister's wife is faith and confidence in the written Word and in the Advent message." So spoke a well-known voice over the line; and it continued, while my pencil traveled rapidly over the paper.
"We have been told that soon everything that can be shaken will be shaken. By eminent men, scientific scholars, college professors, and leaders in thought everywhere, pleasing fables are taught that controvert nearly every truth revealed to us in the Bible and the Spirit of prophecy. Arguments that seem sound and reasonable are brought forward in an effort to prove falsehood to be truth and truth to be falsehood. Our young men, including our ministers, are being exposed to smooth-sounding sophistries. A wife who is deeply founded in a knowledge of the truth can offer a steadying hand to a husband who may be tormented with doubt. If her faith in the fundamental doctrines of salvation is daily nourished through study and prayer, she can strengthen the faith and confidence of the one she loves, who may be sorely tempted. "A great danger that faces a minister's family is neglect of the morning and evening worship period. If the wife takes upon herself the responsibility of having the family pause for a few moments of quiet devotion morning and evening, the thoughts gained at these times will be like seeds sown to eternal life." The next report came from a foreign missionary on furlough.
"My wife is a trained nurse, and she carries on medical missionary work wherever we go. When we first went out to a mission field we found the people suspicious. They did not understand our motives, and were reluctant to receive the gospel. We opened a little dispensary on the street, where my wife treated the sick and pulled teeth. While she was doing this I was telling the gospel story to the crowds that gathered. Sometimes my sermon was interrupted by a call from her to draw out an exceptionally stubborn canine tooth. "When traveling among the tribes in the hills we would take a medical kit along, and while she ministered to the ailments of the people I would preach to the crowds. After she had bound up their sores and treated the sick babies and dispensed cathartics and other mild remedies, the people seemed more interested in listening to the message of love from heaven. After our meeting she would continue the treatments. It is the same in the homeland as in the mission fields the medical missionary work and gospel ministry go hand in hand, although methods may differ." "Your husband not home yet?" I spoke into the phone. "Will you please ask him to ring me when he comes in to dinner? I wish to ask him a few questions about his wife." "About me?" "Yes, about you." "Maybe I had better stand by!" "It might be embarrassing!"
Later while one of my hands held the receiver and the other a pencil, I recorded this statement: "My wife and I encourage each other. When I feel discouraged she counsels me to lay hold on God's promises and know that He will help us at every step. She is always energetic in her endeavors to bring people to a knowledge of the truth. I also value her critical help greatly. She never embarrasses me before others, nor does she dissect my sermons as soon as we reach home. But she is a good counselor, telling me how I can improve in diction, illustrations, manner of delivery, tone of voice, and so on. We ministers sometimes drown the Spirit in our eagerness to bring people to a quick decision. When I am speaking, one glance in her direction reminds me to be quiet and calm in my delivery, and to depend upon the Holy Spirit to make the deep impression." A minister who had long been engaged in public evangelism spoke of the help his wife had given by her friendly association with the families who attend the meetings. "I have often felt that her few friendly words mean as much as my sermons," he said. "One little plan she had was to seat herself between two women during the Bible lecture, and take out her note book and pencil and begin making notes. Before long the women would be saying, 'Oh, do you have an extra piece of paper? I'd like to take notes too.' Of course, she always had extra paper and pencils with her." Again the phone was in use: "Many wives fail to realize the importance of keeping themselves neat and tidy. Especially should they give their husbands a pleasant reception when they come home at night.
Psychologists tell us that this makes a great deal of difference in a man's success." There were some ominous warnings that traveled over the telephone wire that evening. Here is one of them: "If a wife wants to disgust people, let her go around and tell folks how well her husband is doing. No wife should be her husband's press agent. Some wives carry too great a burden to help their husbands' advancement. Sometimes a young worker may feel like blaming the evangelist he is working with or someone else for getting in his way and holding him down. At a time like that the wife may do her husband a definite service by guarding him from such withering thoughts, and encouraging him to be patient, and not be anxious for promotion, and never under any circumstances to insist that he is worthy of greater appreciation or a larger salary. If he has the gift, it will make a place for him. Above every thing else, she should not go around defending him in everything he does. Rather let her try to help him see the other person's side of things."
Another warning was against workers' wives' forming little cliques and ignoring other church members. "When a worker's wife spends most of her time with a select group, or within the circle of a few homes, others may be left to feel that they are considered of little importance. Such feelings, though often the result of pure imagination, may be minimized by impartial friendships. If preference must be shown, let it be in favor of those who are often over looked." And so the ideas on helping kept pouring in, as jumbled as pieces for a patchwork quilt, and even more interesting: "My wife helps me by keeping quiet. Some wives talk too much. They talk about their own family affairs; they discuss everything and everybody in the church; they criticize the church officers and the church members. If minister's wives could only realize that their remarks are often repeated a hundred times, they would be careful always to 'scatter seeds of kindness,' which would bind hearts together instead of tearing them apart." it helps a pastor to minimize church quarrels when he can truthfully say, 'I never heard a word about it.' " One of the problems mentioned as not yet being satisfactorily solved is what to do with the children while the mother is assisting in the evening meetings.
Usually before the second hymn is finished the tiny tots are fast asleep on a back seat. After the fifteen-minute junior story or picture program, the larger preschool children are nodding sleepily and dangling their uncomfortable legs. For the young mothers, the most serious part of this problem is the disruption of the children's sleeping schedule. Here is one suggested solution: "I always excused the workers who had small children immediately at the close of the evening service, unless, as was sometimes the case, we had a large enough expense fund to pay for baby sitters or caretakers." Here is another remark along this line: "My wife never repeats an unpleasant remark made about anybody., not even to me. She knows that I do not want to have our church fellowship and cooperation marred by a critical attitude on my part toward my helpers.
She knows that various ideas came to light in the interviews. Here are several: "A few minutes every day applied to acquiring the art of storytelling will enable a minister's wife to improve many opportunities to plant lessons of truth in the minds of children and youth." "What about enlisting the help of her young friends in distributing literature and lending books?" "She does not need professional secretarial training to be able to write soul-winning letters." "She can guard her husband from interruptions when he is preparing his sermon. And she can train herself and her family in habits of promptness, so that no last-minute fluster of hasty preparations may bring him an emotional upset, through fear of tardiness to an appointment." I once asked one of our pioneer workers in what way his wife had been the greatest help to him in his ministerial work. He answered, "The most important contribution she ever made to my success was her calm and persistent cheerfulness under all circumstances, no matter how discouraging." Precious to every shepherd is his shepherdess if she possesses the gift of "helps."
