PART II
Juvenile delinquency has become almost a household word in some quarters in recent years. But some outstanding leaders in the field of education feel that juveniles often become delinquent because of delinquent parents.
It is right that children should be trained and taught how to live. But God's Word prophesies a reformation in the home, beginning with the father and mother: "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers" (Mal. 4:5, 6).
We are the Elijah people. Should we not be asking, "How shall we order the child?"
What Does the Boy Want?
"An absent-minded professor, feeling anxious about his wife, visited the hospital where she was awaiting the birth of their child. Armed with a book, he ensconced himself comfortably in the waiting room armchair. He had been reading for some time and was completely absorbed when a smiling nurse entered the room. 'It's a boy,' she announced. Annoyed at the interruption, the professor gruffly exclaimed: 'Ask him what he wants!'
"We laugh at the professorial absentmindedness; but, on second thought, is not the inquiry that he suggests the one fundamental question that the whole world needs to put today in this supreme world crisis in human relations?"—W. K. ANDERSON, The Minister and Human Relations, p. 150.
Yes, what does the boy want? At birth, as a babe? In childhood, in adolescence, and in youth? In manhood? He wants good human relationships with parents, playmates, teachers; with his buddies, his brothers and sisters, and later with a lover and wife; and with other adults. If these relationships are right, the chances are that he will develop into a successful man, father, and workman.
In the psychic sense the child is certainly father to the man. The first impressions that a babe receives pinpoint a blueprint for the development of the whole life. If love is expressed to the child by the parents—in fact, by all who have to deal with this little life—very probably the emotional development will be in a straight line. But if hate instead of love is registered in the soul, the impress will set up tensions in the young life that, together with manifestations of anger, fear, selfishness, et cetera, cause the emotional pattern to be disfigured by many detours and deviations from the ideal straight line. Yes, it is serious business, this business of parenthood —too serious for any but a true, loving Christian.
Scientists now know that the human being was created to worship God, that above all man was created as a social being, fit to hold communion with God and with his fellow men. Being social in nature, the child—and the adult also—looks outside of himself to find his own importance. He turns to parents, teachers, and friends for the answer. If that answer is satisfactory, the effect is pleasant, and a good adjustment is made in the life of the child. But if the child's efforts are sneered at and despised, the result is nothing short of calamitous for his development.
The child's whole life is emotionally tuned. By social contacts and association with others the child adjusts himself to life and reality. Those social contacts, right or wrong, leave an indelible influence that may be as lasting as life itself. If the social contacts bring gratifying responses, there are no retrogressions, recessions, or detours in the emotional development of the child. But if those social contacts are hostile, his whole being is overpowered with different tensions, each one looking for its proper release. Failing in this, there will inevitably be a turning to various escape mechanisms, any of which mean maladjustment.
For example, here is a boy whose brother is always bullying him. He belittles him before his friends and misrepresents him to their parents. This results in lifelong evil for both boys. The boy in question develops, among other character traits, an inferiority complex. He will always have to struggle against this weakness —imagining that he is thought to be inferior to others. This is a lasting tragedy, which all of us should seek to eliminate from the lives of our children.
What about the other boy? He develops a superiority complex, which demonstrates itself in a lifelong mania for power. He wants always to have the upper hand, is selfish, proud, arrogant, and boastful. If he has friends, he uses them for his personal advancement. And when, if ever, he gets into God's work, those who have the misfortune of being his fellow workers suffer because of his hard and heartless attitude toward life.
It should be added right here that true conversion may markedly change for the better even the grossest of men. But true conversions are all too rare these days to eliminate all the bad actors even from the ranks of our workers.
In the normal life of man God intended that every emotion should have its legitimate and adequate expression. Otherwise, emotional tensions are built up that are not released properly, and a maladjusted person is the sure result—though the individual himself may never know why.
"Sickness of the mind prevails everywhere. Nine tenths of the diseases from which men suffer have their foundation here."—Counsels on Health, p. 324. Yes, the Lord tells us that nine tenths of all sickness originates in the mind, and all because of improper thinking.
Arthur L. Bietz says:
"Hospitals for the emotionally and mentally ill are overcrowded; new additions are being built, but the demand for care exceeds the available resources. If the present rate of increase continues, one out of every twenty young people in our schools and colleges will at some time in his life be hospitalized for mental and emotional sickness. It is also estimated that one out of every twelve persons in our land is suffering from a major emotional disturbance which handicaps normal living.
"Estimates such as these show the extent of the problem with which we have to deal. Human beings may rightly be stamped 'Fragile,' Handle with care.' "—Pulling Life Together, p. 10. (Italics supplied.)
Yes, human beings are fragile, and ought to be handled with care. Because they are not handled with care, many are sick, and many others are sorrowing, and living a miserable and wretched existence. Jesus is waiting for His character of love to be reproduced in the lives of His disciples. When that is done He will come—but oh, how much there is to be done in human relations before He can come!
We need to learn to live the love life in our homes, in the church, and at the office. Everyone with whom we make social contact should be blessed by our presence.
Bless Me Also
When we think of human relations and of the cries of human anguish ascending to God on every side, there comes to mind the story of Isaac and Rebekah. Both of them showed favoritism in the home to a chosen son: Isaac to Esau and Rebekah to Jacob. When Jacob stole the birthright blessing from Esau, tensions rose to the breaking point. Isaac told Esau that he had blessed his brother Jacob. "And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father" (Gen. 27:34).
It almost overpowers us when strong men weep. And why did Esau weep? Because he wanted a blessing. And don't we all want a blessing? Every one of us wants to be blessed and to be appreciated. But how many of us know that we have our father's—or our supervisor's—blessing?
Esau spoke the language of millions when he said, "Hast thou but one blessing, my father?" (verse 38). How many administrators have but one blessing to give? Esau did not deserve as much blessing as Jacob, but he did deserve some blessing for his good points—for a man always has some good points. Even to hardhearted Pharaoh this truth applied. You will remember that he said to Moses, "Go, serve the Lord, as ye have said. . . . And be gone; and bless me also" (Ex. 12:31, 32).
Every one of us wants a blessing. Every one of us needs to know whether we have the blessing of our father—or our employer. We are all social beings, and look outside of ourselves to find the approbation and appreciation of our work—to see it expressed at least in some way by our fellow laborers and our friends.
Good worker relationships—and all others—are social relationships that proceed best when there is mutual understanding of one another and of one another's problems. Let us listen as Isaiah says it, "That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand together" (Isa. 41:20). Doing everything together—seeing, knowing, considering, and understanding life's problems together—what a wonderful goal and ideal in all our social contacts, all our fellowship! May God give us eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand.
If we had more of this communal "We" feeling, we would get over some of our "I" trouble. Our "social" God said, "Let us make man in our image" (Gen. 1:26). We are to be fellow laborers together with God and our fellow men in the grand adventure of saving men. This work requires a deep and sympathetic human insight, feeling, and understanding.
Sympathy means feeling for someone else—like the benefactor in the good Samaritan story. Science has now coined a new word meaning to feel with somebody. The word is empathy. Who does that word make you think of? We think of Jesus, who lived with the people, thinking with their minds, feeling with their hearts, seeing with their eyes, hearing with their ears, suffering with their emotions. He shared with them their joys and carried their sorrows. He was wounded for their transgressions and was bruised for their iniquities. The chastisement of their peace was upon Him, and with His stripes they were healed.
That was true empathy. He felt and suffered with them. "In all their affliction he was afflicted" (Isa. 63:9). He lived to bless others. 0 that we might follow His example in all our social contacts as we too endeavor to live with the people! Would that our every social call might be a "bless me" visit!
"What Shall We Do?"
"Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, What shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, Repent" (Acts 2:37, 38).
Rom Landau says that "the path of almost every life is strewn with the wreckage of relationships that leave in us nothing but a sense of frustration, or the bitter taste born of shame."—Human Relations, p. 14.
Certainly we have cause to repent of our lack of human kindness. If courtesy were added to sanctification, we would have one hundred converted where now we have one. (See Testimonies, vol. 9, p. 189.)
"Now, brethren and sisters, we want the iron taken out of our souls, and we want it taken out of our manner of work."—Welfare Ministry, p. 90.
"He [God] watches to see if you will manifest compassion to those with whom you associate."—Counsels on Stewardship, p. 164.
Little have we realized that "it is through the social relations that Christianity comes in contact with the world."—The Ministry of Healing, p. 496. Our influence "is constantly telling upon society." —Counsels to Parents and Teachers, p. 84. "The worker who manifests a lack of courtesy, who shows impatience at the ignorance or waywardness of others, who speaks hastily or acts thoughtlessly, may close the door to hearts so that he can never reach them."—The Ministry of Healing, p. 157. (Italics supplied.)
Evident it is that repentance is in order! But what else shall we do? What of the future?
Not long ago I was talking to a friend about the factors entering into the success of a worker, and he stated that in his opinion success depended 25 percent on technical preparation and 75 percent on being able to get along with people. And the fact is that statistics give figures almost that high. We must, therefore, do something about human relations—do something to help all of us to get along too-ether.
Since science has come to our rescue with courses in human relations, it would naturally follow that just as soon as practicable the denomination would do well to make large-scale plans to give in our institutions and among our workers in general the training that the times demand. This might be followed up by suitable instruction in our churches. And graded human-relations instruction could be incorporated in the curriculum of all our schools, from kindergarten up to the highest level.
Some of the world's largest business firms are already quite advanced in human relations from a commercial point of view. (See "Are You the New Executive Type?" Reader's Digest, April, 1954). And some religious organizations are doing notable work in this field, particularly the Methodists. (See W. K. Anderson, /oc. cit.)
A certain well-known denomination states that two thirds of their ministers have been in their present field of labor for two years or less, and therefore do not grow as they should. They work in one place for a few months and then "flee to the next" before their problems can catch up with them. The scene is not unfamiliar in our own ranks, and there is resulting damage to the worker and to the work—no stability being developed in either. If the worker would stay put for a while, meet the problems that his way of laboring produces, and conquer himself at the same time he is conquering his problems, with the guidance of understanding superiors, it would be the saving of a worker, of his work, and of organization funds. It may be that the hearts of the church members would be turned toward the pastor, and the heart of the pastor toward the members, as thereafter they associate together in understanding Christian fellowship and service.
Our greatest need is for cooperative fellowship with Christ and with one another in service. Let us unite in the developing and the implementing of a global human-relations program of peace and understanding that will make ready a people that all men will recognize as Jesus' disciples, because they "have love one to another."
