The Rise and Fall of "Rev. Automaton"

Reprinted in The New Christian Advocate from The Methodist of New South Wales (Oct. 6, 1956).

Arthur Oliver, Methodist pastor, Waverly, N.S.W.. Australia

No first name can be given to Rev. Automa­ton, but that does not matter because the press had long ceased giving any minister the cour­tesy of initials. And, in truth, Rev. Autornaton was correctly titled because it worked on wheels. . . .

It all started with canned music, canned tele­vision films, and the shortage of ministers. It was inevitable, with the coming of automation that some bright boy should suggest the automa­ton minister, and the Church of 1970 appointed the first Rev. Automaton to a City Circuit, so that he—I mean to say it—could work under the eyes of older men.

It was the natural result of perfectionism, the crowning of the long quest to find the perfect minister, and, as you know, no perfect minister had been evolved by any church in any land. Yet, although Rev. Automaton was hailed as perfect, the ministry refused to ordain it, be­cause although it had a perfectly orthodox the­ology, it had not a soul.

It was predicted that it would be easy to fi­nance, running costs would be low, 40 years without a breakdown could be confidently pre­dicted. The home mission department imme­diately ordered 100 models, but the overseas missions department was not so reckless, know­ing what the natives would do with anything less than human, that came into their midst.

Upkeep was a minor item. After the day's work of visiting, schools, correspondence, for­mal addresses, formal meetings, Rev. Automa­ton went into the church vestry and switched off the power, setting the alarm to go off at six in the morning. He needed no food, an occasional new valve, a spot of oil, and that was all.

His sermons were fed into him; they came out of the voice box on Sundays, dry, formal, like a stale radio play-back.

Yet, looking back on the great experiment, it has to be admitted that these automatons were far more efficient than any minister of the church. They did keep a fixed schedule, and they were geared to pay off the required visits in such a way as a poker machine is geared to pay off.

About those visits: The Rev. Automaton had no small talk. If it saw a child it would immedi­ately ask questions from the catechism. The re­sult was that children always dodged down some back alley when they saw it corning: its parish­ioners often did not answer the door when it rang the bell. A card was always pushed under the door. It read: "Dear Sister or Brother, it was deeply grieved to find you were out. Please ac­cept this as proof of a call."

The sermons, as I mentioned, were rather dull. They were so couched as to offend nobody, but it is doubtful whether any sermon preached by it did anyone any good. And, in my church, as in others, there were laymen who wanted to think, wanted to grow, who regarded the faith as a great adventure of mind and heart and will.

What did they do? They fed questions into it. They slipped in quotations from the great thinkers. They dared to bring to the notice of Rev. Automaton the thinking of Einstein, Shaw, Huxley, of the past age as well as more daring thinkers. They filled it up with orthodox and modern thinkers.

It responded to the challenge magnificently, although the mechanism began to glow with a fiery heat. On Sunday mornings the message was a model of orthodoxy. In the evenings it preached unorthodoxy, trying to satisfy both schools of thought, which no human minister can do!

One night I heard it speak. I sensed that something was wrong. Next Sunday morning it suddenly groaned and said: "I can't go on—get a human minister." And it was the first time it had used the personal pronoun "I." Then it blew apart and in a thousand fragments. It was the end of Rev. Automaton and nobody mourned for it.


Ministry reserves the right to approve, disapprove, and delete comments at our discretion and will not be able to respond to inquiries about these comments. Please ensure that your words are respectful, courteous, and relevant.

comments powered by Disqus

Arthur Oliver, Methodist pastor, Waverly, N.S.W.. Australia

March 1958

Download PDF
Ministry Cover

More Articles In This Issue

Reflections on the World of 1957

A review of the unfold­ing scene across a trou­bled world during the past year is most fascinating and challenging.

The Scientific Apostasy

In the previous study we discussed the doctrine of creation as taught in the Bible. Now we must consider how the Chris­tian world departed from the plain truth of a literal creation.

Chance and Accidental Progression in the Evolutionary Hypothesis

The real key word in evolutionism is chance. Few persons ever thoughtfully consider what the world would be like if chance had been the sole directive agent in the formation of the chemical compounds of which the earth is composed, or of the substances constituting the bodies of plants and animals.

Conflicts Between Science and Religion

Francis Bacon wrote: "A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to athe­ism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion."'The same may be said of science.

The Huguenots--Pioneers of Freedom

One of the most moving chapters of the history of mankind was written by the Huguenots of France.

False Report and Rumor

How does a false report and rumor start? And what can you do about it?

A Spirit-empowered Solution for Successful Evangelism

The five major operations of the Holy Spirit in influencing the human mind.

The National Council of Churches in Action

As ministers of the gospel of Christ one of our vital needs is to keep our­selves abreast of the times. Especially is this true of our understanding of modern de­velopments in the field of religion.

Unity of Adventist Belief

Our world mission program reveals our unity of pur­pose as a people.

Entering the Ministry

This article will consider a typical minis­terial couple during the first three years of their internship.

View All Issue Contents

Digital delivery

If you're a print subscriber, we'll complement your print copy of Ministry with an electronic version.

Sign up
Advertisement - RevivalandReformation 300x250

Recent issues

See All