If a minister's wife accompanies him in his travels, she should not go for her own special enjoyment, to visit, and to be waited upon, but to labor with him. She should have a united interest with him to do good."—Testimonies, vol. 1, p. 452.
It is good if the minister's wife can be with him at the workers' meetings or councils. There she will find the inspiration that will help her in her work as the partner of the minister. She needs to have her heart refilled with the love of God. She, too, needs to dedicate her life anew to the work for which her husband is responsible.
Even the best of ministers need encouragement at times. How better can a wife prepare herself to encourage her husband than to attend the meetings that have been planned for workers and their wives? There is sure to be someone in the church who would care for the little ones so that she need not miss the meetings.
The minister's wife should always be willing to help in the church activities. She can do much to encourage the children's division leaders to plan good programs. She can also help in the Pathfinder work. In summer there is no more enjoyable and satisfying work than that of helping in the conference annual camp program. To work with the young people for ten days or so is really a worth-while task.
It creates a good spirit in the church if the minister's wife is willing to carry her share of the church work. This may be at the spring and autumn cleaning, in doing Dorcas work, or any other project that may be planned. While attending these gatherings the minister's wife may be a restraining influence should the conversation become unkind or gossipy. Each occasion can be an opportunity to get better acquainted with some member of the church who may need a little encouragement or guidance in dealing with some problem.
The minister's family may make his visits to the churches in his district an added interest as well as a pleasure for the churches visited. Too often he visits the smaller groups by himself and the members fail to meet his wife and children. However, if the minister took his family to all his appointments it might bring some hardship to his children and loss to the Sabbath school where they are members. So parents must decide on the wisdom of visiting around regularly with the children. Their welfare, especially if they are very young, as well as the interest of the church members, must be taken into account.
If accompanying the husband to more than one appointment on Sabbath morning means that the children will miss Sabbath school now and then, parents can make it up to them in other ways. Maybe a memory verse device in the home where they can place a sticker of achievement, would help.
Although such ministerial visits are hardly picnics, nevertheless, a well-prepared, tasty lunch for the family would provide Sabbath pleasure.
Many faithful members cannot attend church because of sickness or infirmity, and when the minister takes his wife and children along with him to visit them it gives these shut-ins a great deal of pleasure and they do appreciate these visits. Besides, seeing these unfortunate ones may help the children to become more understanding of human suffering.
Tact, Love, and Prayer Needed
Occasionally we find a few people who fail to be on good terms with the pastor and his family. No matter how kindly and patiently they are treated they remain unfriendly. The minister's wife can play an important part in breaking down suspicion and ill will. Sometimes an invitation into the home to partake of a tasty meal with the family will win the unfriendly one over. A good meal and a friendly atmosphere softens many a hard heart. And if this kind act is done from the heart, it can become a real ministerial grace.
"With meekness and humility, yet with a noble self-reliance, she [the minister's wife] should have a leading influence upon minds around her. . . . The people expect this, and they have a right to expect it. . . . The wife of a minister can do much if she will. If she possesses the spirit of self-sacrifice, and has a love for souls, she can with him do almost an equal amount of good."—Gospel Workers, p. 201.
There are times when the sisters in the church hesitate to make decisions regarding some of their problems. It is good if the minister's wife can guide them to make the right decisions. Therefore it is important that her heart be filled with love for the souls of those whom God has committed to the care of her husband, and that she have a genuine interest in their well-being. The young people also need her love and attention. However, when handling these church problems she must do so with great discretion and with the counsel of her husband.
The minister's wife needs to be conservative in her dress. When the pastor is studying with prospective members and he asks them to discard their jewelry, even down to an insignificant gold band on their finger, it is well that the pastor's wife should not be wearing glittering buttons and sparkling brooches, and thus perhaps hinder them from accepting the message. She should be consistently modest in her dress.
The Dorcas Society provides much scope for the minister's wife. If the local group is not very active, she can, with a few wise suggestions, arouse their enthusiasm. She can encourage the ladies to help feed and clothe the poor and also to embark on special projects, such as helping our young people financially and with necessary clothing as they work their way through academy and college. Also she can encourage the church to give some financial aid to the young people who cannot afford to go to our camps. Many of the sisters of the church have never been to our schools or to our camps and they do not realize the importance of seeing that our young people attend. Just a few words from the minister's wife can help them to realize their responsibilities.
Most of all a minister's wife needs to spend more time on her knees praying that the Lord will give her husband many souls for his labor and also wisdom and tact to know what to do and say when special problems come up (difficult problems do appear from time to time).
Some young women occasionally get oppressed and bowed down with the weight of the responsibility that attends the privilege of being a minister's wife. This need not be, because a minister's wife can have a rich and full life if she will make the most of her opportunities and enter into the joys of the work that she shares with her husband. Furthermore, the victory in this respect should have been gained when she pledged her troth to her ministerial partner to be a helpmeet in his holy profession. Nothing is more detrimental to his success than a complaining and unhappy wife. She should always be cheerful and try to lift her husband's burdens in his ministry for the flock. She should also be a tower of strength to others less able to meet the attacks of Satan. This is possible when she keeps close to the great Shepherd in prayer and daily consecration.
Yes, it is a wonderful privilege to be a minister's wife.
