Christian Courtesy

We are all familiar with the problems that presented themselves to the work­ers in the early Advent Movement. A generation of power­ful preachers sprang up, men who knew their Bibles. Sometimes in the smoke and heat of the battle they forsook kindness and courtesy.

WE ARE all familiar with the problems that presented themselves to the work­ers in the early Advent Movement. Faced with an unfriendly, unsympathizing world, disdained by their preaching brethren in the popular churches, and burning with passionate zeal, the church rode forth to conquer the world. A generation of power­ful preachers sprang up, men who knew their Bibles, before whom the ministry of the Sundaykeeping churches frequently quailed. The very logic of the Adventist truths was enough to test the courage of the first-day advocates. But one unfortu­nate development took place. Some men became excellent debaters, and sometimes in the smoke and heat of the battle they forsook kindness and courtesy, and this brought unfortunate results. Notice the counsel that came to the church on this point:

Some ministers who have been long in the work of preaching present truth have made great failures in their labors. They have educated themselves as combatants. Those who love to engage in dis­cussion generally lose their spirituality. Debat­ing ministers are generally disqualified to help the flock where they most need help. - Testimonies, vol. 3, pp. 215, 216

This was scarcely the climate for the development of those refinements that seemed so important to men of milder dis­position. We were in too much of a hurry to get the job done, and sometimes we for­got that it is "not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts" (Zech. 4:6). But the Seventh-day Adventist Church began to come of age and to realize the truth of what Emerson had said, that "life is not so short but that there is time for courtesy." Shakespeare put it this way: "While thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head."

"Hail! ye small courtesies of life; for smooth do ye make the road of it; like grace and beauty, which begat inclinations to love at first sight; it is ye who open the door and let the stranger in," said Sterne.

But it was left for the servant of the Lord properly to evaluate the real need of Christian courtesy in the church. She said: "There is a great want of true politeness among us as a people."—Ibid., vol. 4, p. 392. And again, "If we would humble our­selves before God, and be kind and cour­teous and tenderhearted and pitiful, there would be one hundred conversions to the truth where now there is only one."—Ibid., vol. 9, p. 189.

This is a restatement of the truth David declared anciently when he said: "Thou hast also given me the shield of thy sal­vation: and thy gentleness hath made me great" (2 Sam. 22:36). And Paul wrote to the young man, Timothy, "The servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient" (2 Tim. 2: 24).

Much of the criticism of Seventh-day Adventist workers on the part of non-Adventist ministers is completely unfounded, but a study of the methods sometimes em­ployed in presenting the three angels' mes­sages shows that had God's spokesmen been more kind in presenting the distinctive features of these messages there would have been much less opposition, and the amount of labor required to bring souls to a knowl­edge of the gospel for the last days would have been far less. The message cannot be safely altered; methods of labor may, and in some cases should be. This principle extends even to our advertising. It is pos­sible to stir up opposition to our message by a lack of thoughtfulness in the manner we elect to announce our discourses.

Consideration for persons of refinement will lead us to exercise care in such ap­parently small matters as how we appeal for offerings. Men and women who are under conviction are hypersensitive, and the slightest irregularity may be disastrous. An irreverent attempt to increase the size of the evening offering may be all that is needed to rouse resentment on the part of one whose sensibilities are refined.

True Christian courtesy is in reality a proper respect and love for the individual. There are those who believe that one of the reasons for Christ's great effectiveness as a soul winner was His keen understand­ing and appreciation of the individual.

Consider the Saviour's dealings with Si­mon as recorded in Luke 7:40. We are all familiar with the record. Jesus, knowing the thoughts that were going through the man's mind, of his guilt, his hardness of heart, did not openly rebuke him. Jesus' kindness to Simon went unnoticed by the others, but in The Desire of Ages we read that "Simon was touched by the kindness of Jesus in not openly rebuking him before the guests. . . . He saw that Jesus did not wish to expose his guilt to others, but sought by a true statement of the case to convince his mind, and by pitying kind­ness to subdue his heart."—Page 567.

I fear we find it easier to do the former and leave the latter undone. To the casual observer acquainted with the facts, Simon did not deserve such thoughtful treatment. His selfish conduct was deserving of an open disclosure. But Jesus was not inter­ested in displaying His intimate knowledge of Simon's sins. He was concerned with the man's soul; He chose His words with care in order that Simon might see the condition of his heart and accept the salvation that Jesus was offering him.

The unsanctified heart seeks to cut others down to size. An ex-President of the United States once said of his political opponent, "Leave him to me—I'll cut him down to size." I assume "to size" meant to the di­mensions of his detractor.

Such conduct ought to be far from the Christian minister. It is the work of the destroyer. It reveals an undue concern for self, and assumes that self is the larger by making another appear smaller. Few of us have escaped the temptation to indulge in this form of diversion, but let us stand aside lest our selfishness and poor manners ap­pear to all men. The divinely inspired comment on Jesus' treatment of Simon reads: "Stern denunciation would have hardened Simon against repentance, but patient ad­monition convinced him of his error."— Ibid., pp. 567, 568.

The world puts great premium on cour­tesy and good manners. Seventh-day Advent-ist ministers can ill afford to indulge in un­couth mannerisms, discourteous speech, and unkindness, either among themselves or among unbelievers. Those of us who are older ought to set an example to those younger. Sometimes our relations to one another leave much to be desired.

I quote again from Ellen G. White:

I was shown the case of Brother B. He feels un­happy. He is dissatisfied with his brethren. His mind has been exercised for some time that it was his duty to carry the message. He has the ability, and, as far as his knowledge of the truth is con­cerned, he is capable; but he lacks culture. He has not learned to control himself. It requires great wisdom to deal with minds, and he is not qualified for this work. He understands the theory, but has not educated himself in forbearance, patience, gen­tleness, kindness, and true courteousness. If any­thing arises which does not. meet his mind, he does not stop to consider whether it is wisdom to take notice of it, or to let it pass until it shall be fully considered. He braces himself at once for battle. He is harsh, severe, denunciatory, and if things do not meet his mind, he raises disturbance at once. He possesses in his organization the elements of war rather than of sweet peace and harmony. . . . Brother B. will be in danger of tearing down more than he can build up.—Testimonies, vol. 2, p. 220.

This man was kept out of the ministry because he failed to cultivate a spirit of humility and to learn gentleness and pa­tience. We should be encouraged by the fol­lowing words by the same writer:

The religion of Jesus softens whatever is hard and rough in the temper, and smooths whatever is rugged and sharp in the manners. It makes the words gentle and the demeanor winning. Let us learn from Christ how to combine a high sense of purity and integrity with sunniness of disposition. —Gospel Workers, p. 122

It may be appropriate to mention that we are to be careful in the manner in which we relate ourselves to those in au­thority in the church. Peter speaks under inspiration of some who were "not afraid to speak evil of dignities. Whereas angels, which are greater in power and might, bring not railing accusation against them before the Lord" (2 Peter 2:10, 11).

It is apparent from a study of the Spirit of Prophecy writings that rough, uncouth manners, uncivil words, and a hard, con­demnatory spirit set a mark upon us as surely as we engage in them, while a tender, loving spirit will warm hearts and convert them to the message.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; ... as the dew that de­scended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore" (Ps. 133).

The servant of the Lord tells us:

A cultivated intellect is a great treasure; but with­out the softening influence of sympathy and sancti­fied love, it is not of the highest value. We should have words and deeds of tender consideration for others. We can manifest a thousand little attentions in friendly words and pleasant looks, which will be reflected upon us again. Thoughtless Christians manifest by their neglect of others that they are not in union with Christ. It is impossible to be in union with Christ and yet be unkind to others and forgetful of their rights. Many long intensely for friendly sympathy. God has given each of us an identity of our own, which cannot be merged in that of another; but our individual characteristics will be much less prominent if we are indeed Christ's and His will is ours. We should be self-forgetful, ever looking out for opportunities, even in little things, to show gratitude for the favors we have received from others, and watching for opportunities to cheer others and lighten and relieve their sorrows and burdens by acts of tender kindness and little deeds of love. These thoughtful courtesies, that, commencing in our families, extend outside the family circle, help to make up the sum of life's happiness; and the neglect of these little things makes up the sum of life's bitterness and sorrow.— Testimonies, vol. 3, pp. 539, 540.

The shepherds of God's flock will cer­tainly miss a great blessing if they fail to receive this wisdom from heaven. In con­clusion I quote a passage that caused me to see how far short I have fallen from the Master's way. It reads:

Cultivate the habit of speaking well of others. Dwell upon the good qualities of those with whom you associate, and see as little as possible of their errors and failings. When tempted to complain of what someone has said or done, praise something in that person's life or character. . . . We are too indifferent in regard to one another. Too often we forget that our fellow laborers are in need of strength and cheer. Take care to assure them of your interest and sympathy. Help them by your prayers, and let them know that you do it.—The Ministry of Healing, pp. 492, 493. (Italics supplied.)


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March 1960

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