ONE glorious Sabbath day a preacher returned home late in the afternoon from his weekly Bible study and found his seven-year-old son sitting on the front steps with a most forlorn look on his face. "Well, well, Sonny," the father tried to cheer him, "why the cloudy brow on such a beautiful day?"
"I'm going out of the truth," the child sobbed.
Astonished by this unexpected reply, the father earnestly inquired, "Why do you say that?"
"I'm so lonesome, and there is nothing for me to do on Sabbath afternoons."
That started the father to thinking seriously. Why should his son find the Sabbath so undesirable? In reviewing the family activities over the past few Sabbaths, he began to realize for the first time that nothing of interest was ever planned for his son. He himself was kept so busy looking after the churches in his district that he had no time for the family, and the demands on his wife's time took every minute. But the boy—well, there was nothing for him to do. After attending Sabbath school and church service in the morning he was expected to attend another round of services in the afternoon with his parents, or remain at home by himself. Now the father could see why the little fellow felt forsaken; he understood why the Sabbath held no attraction for him.
When the father decided to give some of his time to his son and demonstrate to him the delightful way God wants us to keep His holy day, the boy found the Sabbath to be a joy. He was willing to remain "in the truth."
Many a sincere worker has asked the question. "How can I spend some time with my family without neglecting my church responsibilities? Every time I take some time out to work around the place or to play a few games with the children I feel guilty. There are so many church duties to do. There is the manuscript to prepare for the paper: a visit to be made to Sister Brown in the hospital; there is a wedding to arrange for; Deacon Miller needs counsel to reconsider his resignation; the Smiths are ready for Bible studies; the Sabbath school rooms need remodeling; and—well, there are just so many things all the time" I never feel that I have one minute to spare for myself or for my family."
True, the demands on a minister's time are many and the duties seem limitless. One could spend all his time writing, all his time visiting backsliders, all his time Ingathering, all his time building, and yet never come to the end. The one who throws up his hands and declares the task to be impossible, that nothing can be done to remedy the situation, is defeated before he begins. Also the one who drives himself from early morning until late at night, all day, every day, is more likely to be frustrated than industrious. For sooner or later he will break physically or mentally and will be forced to give up all his work for weeks or even years. Much more will be lost than gained by following this kind of whirlwind program.
First let us look at the blueprint for the minister and see whether God expects him to spend some of his time at home or whether he should devote all his time to church activities. "We cannot think that any man, however great his ability and usefulness, is best serving God or the world while his time is given to other pursuits, to the neglect of his own children."— Child Guidance, p. 232. "The minister's duties lie around him, nigh and afar off; but his first duty is to his children."—Gospel Workers, p. 204. That is plain enough. With a clear conscience now he can and must give some of his time to his own family.
The next question is, How can he give time to his family and not neglect his church responsibilities, and how can he care for his church work and not neglect his home? Ellen G. White, in Child Guidance, pages 124, 125, makes this suggestion: "Make a memorandum of the different duties that await your attention, and set apart a certain time for the doing of each duty." There it is—make a schedule. Professional men everywhere have learned that a schedule is essential for success. It is one of the most valuable servants a minister can have, but it should never be allowed to become his master. It should serve him and enable him to meet all his obligations.
In dealing with time we are working with something that is unchangeable. We cannot add one minute to the day, neither can we subtract one second from the hour. We cannot borrow time from a bank, or store up a reserve fund for the future. All we can do is to use time as it comes to us. The rich and the poor, the ignorant and the learned, have an equal amount of time allotted to them. Each one has exactly 168 hours in his week. It is the responsibility of each worker to prepare a budget that will suit his needs the best and allow him to accomplish the most in his particular field of labor. The full-time evangelist will give more time to preaching than does the conference president, and he in turn will give more time to administrative duties than does the evangelist. But right now we are concerned about the time a minister can give his family. Suppose a pastor took his 168 hours and made the following budget for the week:
Personal
Sleep 58 hours
Meals 10 hours
Grooming 5 hours
Total 73 hours
Church Work
Regular Duties
Church services 10 hours
Business meetings, boards committees 3 hours
Adult education 2 hours
Counseling, telephoning 15 hours
Total 30 hours
Major Church Projects
Evangelism, building, Ingathering, pastoral visits, etc. 30 hours
Study and Devotions 14 hours
Total 44 hours
Family
Worship 2 hours
Work or play 6 hours
One afternoon a week 6 hours
Total 14 hours
Margin
7 hours
Grand Total 168 hours
With this budget of time an average day would be more or less like this:
Sleep 8 hours
Meals 1 hour 30 minutes
Grooming 40 minutes
Study Work 2 hours
Worship 20 minutes
Family 1 hour
Margin 1 hour
Total 24 hours
This budget allows 14 hours a week for the family plus the time father spends eating at home. Unfortunate, isn't it, that so many families today seldom eat together. Our diversified schedules make it well-nigh impossible to have all our meals together, but with a little planning we could eat many more meals as a family. There is an added charm and contentment about the home where father, mother, and the children sit down to the table at the same time and return thanks to God before partaking of the food.
With preparation, family worship can be one of the most interesting and profitable times of the day. The hymn of praise, the Bible story or study, and the communion with heaven is essential for this life and the life to come. "In every family there should be a fixed time for morning and evening worship."—Testimonies. vol. 7, p. 43.
Why not plan to spend an hour a day around the house? "[Fathers,] give some of your leisure hours to your children; become acquainted with them, . . . and win their confidence."-—The Adventist Home, p. 222. What boy would not like to help his father build a doghouse, paint the fence, mow the lawn, work the garden, or wash the car? Every child needs the companionship of his father in his work and in his play. Today he might mend a chair, and tomorrow have a game of ball; or he might go swimming today, and trim the hedge tomorrow. Even if the minister has no children, an hour a day around the house will do him good. Some of these whole or half days with the family could be spent right at home with some major project, and others could be spent sight-seeing, or camping on the mountainside, or boating on the lake.
In addition to the time set aside for the family there are other opportunities for the minister to be with his children. Older children might like to accompany him on some of his missions, especially if they feel that they are needed to pass out the songbooks, sing a solo, play the accordion, or run the projector. They might enjoy going with him when he is scouting around to find a location for his next evangelistic effort, or is looking for a new site for the church school. It is just fun to be with daddy, and daddy should plan to take his children with him as often as he can. Children are a help in certain types of visiting also. One ten-year-old lad, forced to lie in a cast for several weeks, would have had a very lonesome time if it hadn't been for the minister's son, who came to see him often and kept him informed about the happenings at school. Of course, no minister would take his child with him on a visit when personal conduct is being discussed, or when the capabilities and qualifications of certain church officers are being compared. The pastor's work is about done in a place when his children know7 all the "church news." Elderly people and convalescent patients are greatly cheered by the presence of a child, however. His smile, the gift of a flower, or a song from him is a breath of spring to the shut-in.
Avoid the extreme of taking the child with you to every meeting and having him accompany you on all your visitations. Great harm is done to the child when he is on exhibition too often and too long. He might jump to the conclusion that he is the assistant pastor and lord it over other children, or rebel against his lot of being the pastor's child and disgrace the cause by his conduct. To be forced to sit still and do nothing hour after hour in meeting after meeting is enough to cause the normal child to dread the ordeal and to loathe the church and all for which it stands. A short visit here and an occasional meeting there is a delight and a joy, but too much of anything is too much. One minister's wife tells of her experience thus:
"Instead of hailing the Sabbath with joy and delight, my little two-year-old would frown at the very mention of the day. Although sweet and good natured most of the time during the week, Edward was usually 'all out of sorts' on Sabbath. As a minister's wife, I was greatly concerned over this situation. Why should my son act his worst at the very time I wanted him to set a good example?
"One day I decided to think the whole thing through and see what was the cause and what could be done about it. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that neither his father nor I were doing one little thing to make his Sabbath a pleasure or his church attendance interesting.
"He was hurriedly dressed Sabbath morning, warned dozens of times not to get dirty, not to sit on the floor, not to play out of doors, not to handle anything dirty—in fact, not to do anything but just 'be good and sit still.'
"Since he was the only two-year-old in his Sabbath school, he had been 'promoted' to the primary division, which was much above his comprehension. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, to interest him in the church service, yet he was expected to sit perfectly still in an adult seat for at least an hour. Occasionally the monotony was broken by his being taken out and spanked when he misbehaved. After the service he was supposed to wait until his father had shaken hands with the people and was ready to go home.
"In the afternoon we went to church and repeated the entire program of the morning, plus attending a committee meeting now and then after the church service. Not until I went through his Sabbath program step by step did I realize that we were actually teaching our son to dread the Sabbath and to loathe the church. His father and I determined to better conditions immediately.
"Now Edward and I attend only one church on Sabbath, and we receive a real blessing. Incidentally, I know our example is much more wholesome than it was when we were attending so many meetings all day long. A special Sabbath school class has been formed for him and the next youngest 'primary' child. With the Cradle Roll songs, finger plays and exercises, the two tiny tots are beginning to enjoy their Sabbath school to the full.
"During the church service I see to it that Edward has something of interest to do. Some Sabbaths he will make all kinds of men and animals out of modeling clay. Right now he is interested in making the children of Israel. Then I have a magic slate ready for him. The other day I saw a set of little rubber animals that I think I shall get for his church toys. And of course there are always interesting Bible picture books.
"What a change has come over him since we have decided to make his Sabbath a delight! Now his little face lights up with a smile at the mention of God's holy day, and he looks forward with pleasure to going to church and Sabbath school."
Some ministers' children have been driven right out of the church and led to hate the very name of religion because they were kept in church all day or on exhibit too long and too often. A child's life should be balanced, and a time budget enables a parent to see that each phase of his life receives the proper amount of time.
The minister who budgets his time can be a true husband and father to his family and still not neglect his church responsibilities.
