Not long ago in my reading program I ran across something that interested me very much. What I read was brief and concise, but deep with meaning. This short course in human relations has to do with words—important and unimportant words. What are they?
Five most important words—I am proud of you.
Four most important words—What is your opinion?
Three most important words—If you please.
Two most important words—Thank you. Least important word—I.
The basic principles so clearly and yet so simply set forth in the above short course in human relations are something every worker should use. Not only should he have these fundamentals among the tools in his working kit but he should take them from the kit and use them in his work program. This is especially true of gospel workers who deal with people every day.
How can these important words be woven into the work program of the preacher? Think for a moment of the five most important words—"I am proud of you." Maybe the church has successfully reached the Ingathering goal, completed some building project, or finished a special missionary crusade for souls. In a situation like this surely it would be in order for a preacher to say to his congregation, "I am proud of you." Perhaps the preacher is visiting in the home of one of his parishioners and wants to commend the family for their contribution toward a certain plan or program of the church. What expression would sound better to the family than, "I am proud of you. May God richly bless you." A word of praise, a sincere compliment, always makes people happy. Actually one of the greatest jobs a preacher has to do is to make people happy. Happy members bring harmony into the church.
The opinion method is a tried and proved technique in the science and art of Christian salesmanship. People like to feel that their opinions are good and that they are appreciated by others. Many times during a visit the preacher can tactfully and diplomatically ask, "What is your opinion on this?" And even though the minister might not agree with the opinion of the church member, he might thank him and go on with his counsel and advice. If the opinion of the church member is something the preacher can agree with, it is, of course, good to congratulate and commend him. This makes him happy, helps to relax him, and puts him in a good mood to receive whatever counsel the minister has for him.
I like to think of the three most important words—"If you please." This expression is not heard too much, but surely every worker for God should use it many times during the day. He should also use the two most important words—"Thank you." "If you please" and "Thank you" indicate thoughtfulness and consideration on the part of the preacher. It does not require much time to use these expressions, and they help to bring the members of the congregation into friendly focus. It certainly pays dividends to be courteous, gracious, thoughtful, and helpful. Remember, the preacher is not in the church to be served by the congregation, but he is there to serve the members of the church.
Successful people are kind, polite, and courteous. In a recent issue of Time magazine I read an interesting article regarding Conrad Nicholson Hilton, who owns a $293 million chain of hotels. He regularly scans reports from each hotel and reads complaints that guests send in. If he sees something amiss, a hotel manager somewhere will get a quick telephone call from Mr. Hilton. Recently he launched a big drive to make Hilton employees more courteous to guests. He had behind-the-scene spots in Hilton hotels plastered with posters that asked, "Have you smiled today? It's bound to give you a lift." Yes, this multimillionaire hotel owner believes that all his employees should be polite and courteous as they deal with the public.
The least important word, of course, is "I." The church member is not interested so much in the preacher as he is in himself, his own family, his own business, his own happiness, his own home, his own success, his own salvation. Therefore, the preacher should eliminate the pronoun I from his vocabulary and insert in its place the pronoun you. As he talks with and visits a church member, he should talk to him in the "you" language—your home, your happiness, your success, your health, your children, your salvation.
These basic principles set forth in this short course in human relations should be thoroughly interwoven into every sermon and personal visit of the preacher. The four expressions "I am proud of you," "What is your opinion?" "If you please," "Thank you," when properly used, will help the preacher to influence more people, have more friends, and enjoy greater success.
