It was going to be an interesting convention. Chaplains in training, accompanied by their supervisors, were coming in from institutions all over southern California. Some were working in mental hospitals, others in men's or women's prisons, and several, like me, were taking the course in a general hospital.
Since all of those involved in the program were either clergymen or theology students I expected to see quite a conservative group of fellows. By the time of the first meeting I could tell my assumption was correct. All were neatly dressed. Many had black or dark-gray suits on. Ties were straight. Shoes were shined. The group looked exactly like anyone would expect professional men, ministers, and graduate students to look.
With one exception.
The Hippie Enters
I could not believe my eyes when he walked into the room. He reminded me of something you might see on Sunset Strip or in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. His hair was long. I mean really long. It hung clear to his shoulders in typical hippie style. Instead of a suit, he was wearing a pair of badly creased, green corduroy trousers and an old red-andwhite-striped T-shirt.
At first I thought he must be an inmate of one of the institutions and the chaplain had brought him along to demonstrate a counseling interview or something. Imagine my amazement when his turn came to introduce himself and he stood to his feet and told us he was a theology student, taking chaplain's training. This fellow soon to be a minister or chaplain! I just could not believe it.
Right then something started to happen inside me. Feelings of resentment began to build up. Who in the world did this guy think he was? Of all the ridiculous things to do, coming to an important convention looking like that! It was an insult to the rest of us. Besides, how could he possibly visit with patients in the hospital he was assigned to, when he wore his hair that way?
I found myself keenly disliking this strange character. I wished that he would either leave or somehow change his appearance.
At that point I am sure I could never have been a friend to Jim (for that was his name). My hostility toward him was just too strong. I am afraid it prevented me from really loving him as a fellow human being and canceled any chance of my being able to witness to him.
You see, he was different from me. He did not meet my expectations of a minister to be. I did not approve of his appearance, therefore I did not approve of him. I was co hung up on my own feelings that I could not accept Jim as he was.
My attitude might never have changed had I not found myself walking through the lobby beside Jim as a group of us returned from lunch. We introduced ourselves and began talking. At least I was able to be honest with him. I admitted I did not like his hair and wondered aloud whether it interfered with his relationship to patients.
Getting to Know Him
In just a few minutes I learned much about Jim. He was open, friendly, and spoke freely about himself. He explained that he had very little money and found it essential to work in order to get through school. His current employment involved playing evenings with a musical group in the Los Angeles area. He felt this necessitated his hair style.
As he talked about his work in the hospital I could tell he had a genuine concern for people and a real desire to help them.
In the sharing of experiences I felt myself growing close to Jim. My feelings of anger and resentment faded away by the time our conversation was over. We parted good friends. Oh, I still did not like his hair, nor his unkempt appearance, but I liked Jim and had begun to understand and accept him.
The idea has kept haunting me though, suppose we had not talked together as we did? What if Jim had not had the patience to explain some of the things behind his way of life? Would I have gone on disliking him as I did at first? How many times had I done this to someone else who did not meet my expectations? Do I often write people off because they do not look the way I think they should or because they have beliefs that are different from mine or ideas of which I cannot approve? Is my ministry to people limited because of my negative feelings and lack of understanding?
Thank you, my unconventional new friend, for reminding me I serve a Master whose love is big enough to accept people as they are and that this must be the first step as we endeavor to show them the better way.
