When the call to mission service came thirty-two years ago, what a host of emotions flooded my husband and me. First of all, we thought of what we would leave. Our parents. Would we ever see them again? Our pastoral work. With two years of internship safely over, we were barely settled into a new district. How would we feel to leave the membership of those six churches where we were acquainted, and face the unknown? Our small apartment where we had struggled to stretch those weekly eighteen dollars. What would "home" be like in the mission field?
Though there were many blank spaces in our knowledge that time alone could fill in, there were also many challenges. From earliest childhood both of us had looked forward to the time when we would sail away to foreign service. Romantic dreams? Yes, but what's wrong with them? A taste for adventure? Certainly. But without these ingredients the rough spots of a missionary's life are even harder to bear.
Looking back over those early beginnings in a foreign land and recalling the experiences of others, I realize now more than I did then the important contribution a wife makes to her husband's success. Let's consider a point or two.
First there is home. Naturally this is her first concern. Even though the couple may not be in a primitive area, there are still many problems both new and vexing. It is frustrating to see how much longer the "simple" tasks of the household take. With no paper cartons of homogenized milk delivered at the kitchen door, it becomes necessary to stir up one's own from powder, first making sure that the water is potable. Then there are the vegetables and fruit and eggs to wash, either in Chlorox or in soapy water (to skip over the original task of buying these at unaccustomed places). It is entirely possible that healthful bread (or bread of any sort) is not available but must be made. Illustrations of the seemingly endless demands of just kitchen duties on the new missionary wife could be multiplied. Suffice it to say that adjustments in this department alone are legion, and often the cause of many tears.
After this is the task of settling happily in a new environment. Perhaps from the start it is evident that modest facility with a new language is desirable. It is not a happy experience to discover that of all stupid things, a foreign woman heads the list in the thinking of many nationals. Yet after making this discovery, the new missionary wife can do nothing but determine that she must get beyond the stage of sign language, that she will learn the new tongue that at first seems utterly incomprehensible.
Another blow to pride comes as she grudgingly admits that because of home responsibilities, which must always come first, she cannot keep up with the language-study program that her husband must have. (There is one source of "comfort" though that will come her way when she discovers that their children, in easy play association with national children, come home using words correctly that both she and her husband have barely succeeded in learning formally from a teacher!).
One quality that must be cultivated by all means is that of an open mind. Strange customs in a faraway land may be different, but not necessarily wrong. New ideas will surely be met, but their newness must never ensure instant rejection. It could be Niat other races with varying concepts may have something worth while to contribute.
Then, of course, there is the daily intermingling of missionary children. Whereas it might be possible to move to another more congenial neighborhood back home, the dimensions of a mission compound are already well established and never large enough for poor relations with fellow missionaries. Children can really stir things up, especially when parents rush to the defense of their own. If ever the missionary wife needed an open mind, it is when her own darling comes back to regale her with current happenings!
The final test of success or failure is seen in her attitude, which greatly affects the happiness of her husband. If the wife can meet every situation in a way that encourages him, then their place in the mission field will be more secure. There are bound to be problems. Some loved one sick in the homeland. A child separated from home, attending school in another country. Illness of a member of the family in the mission field. Some circumstance connected with the husband's work. No matter what, if the wife, like a good soldier, is able to endure the trial, to encourage her husband to weather the storm, then chances are that the family will be a success in the mission field.
If, however, looking through tears at their problem causes the wife's prospective to get out of focus, if she succumbs to loneliness, if she cannot stand her frustrations, then no matter how successful her husband may be in his work, the family will sooner or later return to the homeland.
Are we wives looking for a challenge? A tough one is offered by foreign mission service.
Can we succeed?
Of course!
Through a complete surrender of self to God and by His help, a missionary wife can enjoy happiness in this world and the prospect of an eternity with those for whom she and her husband have labored
