The Spirit-Filled Home

ONE need not look far or listen long to realize that today's world is filled with staggering problems. Committees are appointed, task forces as signed, and policing agencies reinforced in an attempt to control an unruly, rebellious generation; a generation of confusion, filled with paradox, where people are more intelligent than ever before, yet without answers; more wealthy than ever before, with more poverty everywhere; producing more food than ever before, but more are hungry. Our world is sick, groping desperately for a solution to heal its ailments by legislating more Medicare and social security payments, more Federal aid to education, more dollars for space exploration and national defense, only to realize that these attempts have failed and problems continue to multiply.

The problem quite obviously involves a fallacy of sequence. The proverbial "cart before the horse" order of things strikes at the root cause of the dilemma. The staggering problems of today's society are directly traceable to the breaking apart of its homes. "The influence of an ill-regulated family is widespread, and disastrous to all society. It accumulates in a tide of evil that affects families, communities, and governments. The Adventist Home, p. 33. "The well-being of society, the success of the church, the prosperity of the nation, depend upon home influences." ---Counsels to Parents and Teachers, p. 396.

Nearly six-thousand years ago an all-wise Creator spoke into existence (Psalm 33:6, 9) and set in motion a perfect, natural world and established the basic unit of earth's society, a home. The occupants of this home were given certain assignments and rules for happiness. Likewise, they were given the power to choose their course of action. They drank of the pure water of the Garden, ate of the life-giving tree, maintained direct communication with the Creator, and exhibited a loyal and unswerving dedication to each other. Then the fateful day came when an intruder, the adversary of souls, seized upon an opportune moment to strike out at this first perfect home by tempting Eve to break the rules. Being alone and with out the supporting courage of her companion, she succumbed, and thus began the sorry account of the progressive degeneration of mankind. The same enemy continues his frenzied attack in much the same manner today, lashing out at our homes, driving figurative wedges be tween husbands and wives, between parents and children. When husbands and wives are careless, or fail to drink at the cisterns of living waters and eat the bread of life, thus maintaining the living connection with the Creator, the result is equally tragic.

More than four millenniums ago God saw that every imagination of man's heart was evil, and it repented God that He had made man (Gen. 6:6, 7). Mankind was eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage (Matt. 24:38). The homes and God's moral standard had broken down. Noah, a just man who walked with God (Gen. 6:9), was told to build an ark to save a remnant of humanity and take them through a devastating deluge that would destroy to the uttermost.

We move down the centuries of sacred history, and find record of the sacredness of the home faltering again. This time it was the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Society had become grievously wicked (Gen. 18:20), and in spite of Patriarch Abraham's intercessory pleas, God destroyed these cities with fire and brimstone (chap. 19:24).

We stand today at the brink of catastrophic climax again as we survey the statistics of our society with divorces just about equaling marriages in number. Untold scores of children are forced into a less than natural, and certainly less than God-planned, family situation. The chills of reality cause the spine to tremble as we feel the moral fiber of mankind crumble into crime in the streets, riot on the cam pus, and rebellion in the nations. It is high time that we place the "horse in front of the cart" and take a sober look at our homes.

If we could honestly isolate the problem of the home to society generally, and declare all Seventh-day Adventists immune to the fiery darts of the evil one as pertains to our homes, we might all sleep better at night. The facts are that the problems of the world and our nation parallel uncomfortably the problems of our church. The strength or weakness of Seventh-day Adventism lies unequivocally in the condition of the family units that make up our membership. "In the home the foundation is laid for the prosperity of the church. The influences that rule in the home life are carried into the church life." The Adventist Home, p. 318. "One well-ordered, well-disciplined family tells more in behalf of Christianity than all the sermons that can be preached." Ibid., p. 32.

One cannot help carefully contemplating the fact that nearly forty pages of the Spirit of Prophecy INDEX are needed to catalog the statements on the Holy Spirit and the home. (Interestingly, the alphabet accommodates by placing these topics in close proximity.) We can only conclude that the great God of the uni verse has purposely emphasized this subject.

Let us examine together the inspired counsel. God spoke through David in Psalm 127:1, saying, "Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it," and in verse 3 of the same psalm we read, "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Parental responsbility would be completely frightening if it were not for God's promises and counsel. Even with His counsel the challenge remains.

The God-man love relationship has much in common with the man-wife, parent-child relationships (Col. 3:18, 19; Eph. 5:33). The most important ingredient in the Spirit-filled home is love.

The Spirit-filled home must begin with a Spirit-filled husband and a Spirit-filled wife. This home condition does not just happen. It requires diligent effort on the part of each one. "Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance" (1 Cor. 13:4-7, Weymouth). This is God's definition of love and suggests a formula that will keep the marital knot securely tied. Success can only be assured if certain patterns are formed as a home is established. "Love cannot long exist with out expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for the want of kindness and sympathy." The Ministry of Healing., p. 360. Include Jesus as a third party in this joint venture and communicate with and through Him daily. Establish a pattern of worship. It may have to be adjusted to fit your program, but it is essential that a family maintain daily contact with its Maker.

In his book A Second Touch, page 42, Keith Miller tells of the problem that they had in their family trying to structure worship. They called it "family time", and decided to set up a rigid schedule for right after the evening meal every day. The telephone rang constantly, table clearing, dish-washing chores, and homework were all delayed, and they all went to bed tense and cross. They suddenly realized that it wasn't Jesus who needed them to have a family altar at their house, it was the Miller family. They found that it worked out much better for them, in their situation, to have a pleasant and relaxed spiritual time together just at retirement time.

Oftentimes in our anxiety over doing things just right we may destroy the positive good that was intended. The important thing is that we let the elements of love melt us together as praying, God fearing families.

Probably the most critical time in the experience of the home is when children arrive and we find ourselves parents. The excitement and thrill of parenthood is without equal, but when that "bundle of joy" makes known his physical needs with out regard to hour of the day or convenience of parent it is easy for tension to mount between parents and between parent and child. To maintain the spirit of Christ through this adjustment period is no small feat. Many a home problem can be traced to this particular period of the marital experience. Attentions must now be shared, a new dimension of life has dawned. God in His providence must have foreseen the character-developing opportunities that rearing a family affords. From the moment a child enters a home, the parents must be doubly aware of their words and influence. We can be successful only as we call upon God for direction and strength. "What the parents are, that, to a great extent, the children will be." The Ministry of Healing, p. 371. If our homes are to be truly Spirit-filled each member of the family will of necessity have Jesus in the heart. "When Christ is in the heart, He is brought into the family. The father and mother feel the importance of living in obedience to the Holy Spirit so that the heavenly an gels, who minister to those who shall be heirs of salvation, will minister to them as teachers in the home, educating and training them for the work of teaching their children." The Adventist Home, p. 323.

The love factor between family members cannot be over emphasized. Some time ago an extensive study of small children and babies was conducted, and a report appeared in the Reader's Digest, February, 1963, "The Awesome Power of Human Love," by Ashley Montagu.* Mr. Montagu stated that "we now know from the independent observations of a number of physicians and investigators that love is an essential part of the nourishment of every baby and that unless he is loved he will not grow and develop as a healthy organism psychologically, spiritually or physically. Even though he is physically well nurtured, he may nevertheless waste away and die. . . . Actual physical stunting and dwarfism can result from the lack of normal love and affection." He further states that "if emotional deprivation may result in severe retardations in physical growth and development, the effects on the development of personality and behavior appear to be even more severe. Criminal, delinquent, neurotic, psychopathic, asocial and similar forms of unfortunate behavior can, in the majority of cases, be traced to a childhood history of inadequate love and emotional instability."

The problem with many parents today is that they are misdefining love. They feel that supplying a child with food, cloth ing, and shelter is sufficient. It is much easier to give things than it is to give our selves. John M. Drescher, writing in These Times, March, 1970, "Now Is The Time to Love," says, " 'Do not pity the child who does not have a bicycle or whose parents cannot afford an encyclopedia. Pity the child whose parents do not have time to live with him, to teach him, to play with him, to express their love for him in many, many ways.'

" 'Now is the time to love. Tomorrow the baby won't need rocking; the toddler won't be asking, "Why?" the schoolboy won't need help with his lessons, nor will he bring his school friends home for some fun. Tomorrow the teenager will have made his major decisions, and tomorrow we will remember the time we used or failed to use for our family.'

" 'Some time ago a judge shared the comments of a young law-breaker about his father, a respected man in the community. "I've often heard my father was a fine man," said the young man. "But I never knew him. He didn't have time for me." ' "

"Fathers, . . . combine affection with authority, kindness and sympathy with firm restraint. Give some of your leisure hours to your children; become acquainted with them; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence." The Adventist Home, p. 222.

In addition to a generous supply of love, our children crave the security of adult example and direction. The youth of to day are crying out against the hypocrisy and lack of performance on the part of parents and all adults. It is time that we show our children Jesus. Mr. Miller, writing in his book A Second Touch, page 48, says, "I have come to believe that if a husband and wife are honestly trying to find God's will, the kids will somehow get the picture." And on page 46, "I learned that children already know about our weaknesses. Our faults show. And when we refuse to confess them, our children do not think that we're strong, but that we are either phony or can't recognize our weaknesses."

"There is no nobler work that we can do, no greater benefit that we can confer upon society, than to give to our children a proper education, impressing upon them, by precept and example, the important principle that purity of life and sincerity of purpose will best qualify them to act their part in the world." Fundamentals of Christian Education, p. 155.

If we want our children to pray, we will have to teach them by praying with them and in front of them, and for them. Fathers, your concepts of honesty will pretty much determine your son's concepts of honesty.

Mothers, the way you dress will pretty much determine how your daughters will dress.

If we desire Spirit-filled children we had better be Spirit-filled parents. Our children's attitudes toward the Seventh-day Adventist Church, tithe paying, Christian education, reflect with an amazing measure of precision the feelings, expressions, and example of father and mother.

The theoretical principle suggested by youthful "pot" smokers who say to their parents, "Don't bother me about drugs until you stop drinking hard liquor," carries with it some thought-provoking overtones as we relate it to problems in our homes and churches.

Allow me to share a personal conviction that bears on our subject. I believe that youth, for the most part, are well able to carry more responsibility than we are en trusting them with. Further, I believe that unless we incorporate into their bringing-up years training along lines of service and meeting life's realities they will face adult hood totally unprepared to assume responsibility. This is one of the greatest differences between our urbanized society of today and the way some of us grew up some years ago. It is encouraging to note that large numbers of Seventh-day Adventist youth are volunteering for assignments of service at home and overseas. Surely the Lord is in this trend. Let us use these youthful energies to full advantage.

In conclusion, if yours is a happy, Spirit-filled home, may the Lord continue to add His blessings until He soon shall come. If you sense areas where improvement and/or change seems to be called for, make the change. The Lord will strengthen and guide you. He would have every home Spirit-filled. If you recognize that opportunities have passed by and that you find it is too late to retrain and retrench in your home, be of courage still. Never give up. Go to that son or that daughter, Apologize, if necessary, and assure him of your continued love and interest. We are near the end of all things, and God's Word indicates that this sort of thing will most surely take place in the last days (Mal. 4: 6,7). A description of this prophecy found in The Story of Redemption, page 359, states, "Hearts of parents were turned to their children, and hearts of children to their parents. . . . Heartfelt confessions were made, and the members of the house hold labored for the salvation of those who were nearest and dearest."

May the Lord so fill our hearts and homes with His Spirit that His church may soon triumph.