The Love of the Work of the Lord
MANY of us were in attendance at the most recent General Conference session and were reminded again of the great and expanding work of which we are a part. As we watched delegates from the lands of the east, the west, the north, and the south, our hearts thrilled and we seemed to hear the rustle of the three angels' wings flying in the midst of the heavens. What an army, and what a task! As we listened to the leaders read their reports and tell of their plans we were made aware that there is still a tremendous work to be done in warning the entire world of the judgment hour to come, and in recounting the love of Jesus.
How are we relating ourselves to the church's great task? Are we every day giving ourselves to God to be used in the place where we are to lighten some dark corner?
Are we loyally upholding the hands of those who are working along with us? We are all frail and weak and struggling, and we need to be tolerant of one another as we pull together in the Lord's work. God is very patient with our feeble efforts and deigns to use us as long as we are dedicated to Him. Should we not then be patient with others?
Some find it hard to regard with tolerance their fellow workers who make what they judge to be wrong decisions and policies. Let us not waste our time, energy, and emotions criticizing our fellow workers, but let us turn our criticisms into prayers on their behalf, and spend the time we might spend on judging them in more efficiently doing the work that has been given specifically to each of us to do. Let us love this great work and our fellow workers, and move forward in unity until it is all finished.
The Love of Order
One is not married long to a minister-husband before one realizes that something has to be done about all the paper that comes into the house.
If the church does not have a mailbox, all the church business in the form of bills and papers may come to your home. Besides this, there are communications without number from the local conference with all its many departments, all of which have to be carefully perused and acted upon. There are book catalogs, pamphlets, periodicals, papers of various kinds, letters, advertising material, and what one would call just plain litter, without end. Soon you realize that if you do not do some thing about it you will be buried under an avalanche of paper, so you go about organizing.
It pays to set aside a definite time every day for taking care of this paper work, just as you set aside time to cook, to clean, to market, and to perform other household chores.
Of course you may have married the kind of man who neatly opens his mail on receiving it, notes at once what he has to do, and files it away himself, and knows exactly where he put it without having to ask you. In that case you can count your self most fortunate, and one of the lucky minority!
Be cheerful about the telephone. Possibly more shepherdesses allow themselves to get frustrated over the constant telephone calls than over anything else. Accept them as part of the life. Some shepherdesses I have known are wizards at scheming ways of not letting the telephone interrupt their work too much. They can get on with their ironing and sewing and even cooking while holding a conversation. Be conscientious and efficient about recording messages and when your children are old enough to answer the phone be extra careful in training them to do so politely and efficiently.
Keep an orderly home. Although some of your church members may have dis orderly homes they do expect you to have an orderly one.
Living has to proceed in the parsonage just as it has to in every home. Meals have to be prepared, served, and cleared away. Sewing, mending, ironing, and cleaning have to be done. Homework has to be prepared, games played, letters written, hobbies pursued, books, magazines, and papers read, and packages packed. While we may never have homes that look like the magazine pictures, we can avoid con fusion. Make it a rule to clear up after each activity before engaging in the next one; and have your family follow this rule. If Joan has been doing her homework and wants to do some of her favorite knitting before going to bed, have her put her books away first. Clear meals away at once. If everyone lends a hand this is quickly done, and order is restored in the kitchen and dining area.
The Love of the Minister
The Bible uses the word "cleave" to describe the relationship between husband and wife.
If only husbands and wives would follow this advice and cleave together more, what problems would be solved. However, there is less and less togetherness, and consequently more and more unhappiness, in the marriage relationship. The pastor's marriage should be a demonstration of marriage as it was intended by Christ a loving companionship. You were drawn to each other because you each enjoyed the companionship of the other. Stay companions. Work together, pray together, plan together, talk together, walk together, jog together, relax together.
Two students went to see my husband in his office at one of our colleges. They were thinking of breaking up their marriage after only two years. A little questioning revealed why things had not been going as they should. The wife went to work early in the morning and came back around five in the evening. By this time her student husband had gone off for his eight-hour evening job and was not home until after eleven, by which time she was in bed and asleep. On the weekend they were so tired that they both slept and were unable to enjoy church services, going for Sabbath afternoon walks, visiting with friends, or any of the other things that make Sabbath a happy day for a young couple.
My husband talked over their situation with them. They admitted that it was not necessary for them to earn as much as they had previously thought they should; they could manage on much less and still save. So they agreed to try a plan whereby the husband would work just half the hours he had been used to working. Thus he would be home to enjoy a relaxed supper nightly with his wife, be able to talk over the day's classes and work, and have more time for study.
Further, they took off a week during Christmas vacation just to learn to know each other again and get off on a better footing. The plan worked!
Some need just to take more time for their husbands, to listen to their plans and their hopes, and to study their health.
Let's take good care of them, protect their reputation, and guard their study time. Let's gather materials and ideas. In a word, let's pamper them. If we don't, perhaps someone else will, and well, we wouldn't like that!
Work together as much as possible. You cannot of course go everywhere with him, but as much as you can, go to the meetings with him (not the board or other meetings where you don't belong, of course), and join him in visiting. He enjoys your companionship even if you just ride along with him in the car, and you can always take along some work to do as you wait for him while he does his business.
Work together for souls. "She [the minister's wife] should work earnestly, faithfully, and unitedly with her husband to save souls. She should never urge her wishes and desires, or express a lack of interest in her husband's labor, or dwell upon homesick, discontented feelings." Evangelism, p. 674.
The Love of the Lord
I have left this until last because it is the most important of the six loves. Being a minister's wife does not automatically endow one with goodness, as some think; yet there is a very real danger that like the Jews who said, "We have Abraham to our father," we too will shelter behind the excuse, "We have Elder So-and-so as our husband." To be successful both in God's sight and as ministers' wives we must be children of God in our own rights, by our own spiritual rebirth.
At one of the Adventist Woman-power meetings we were told that when Satan saw that a young man was headed for the ministry he took special pains to cross his path with a young woman calculated to disturb him. Let it be our constant prayer that we are never by our lukewarmness, our worldliness, or our discontentedness a hindrance to one called into God's service.
We need to gather daily the spiritual manna for ourselves that we may be strengthened. We attend many meetings, we hold regular family worship periods in the home, but we need the precious minutes completely alone with God. "The wives of ministers should live devoted, prayerful lives." --Gospel Workers, p. 202.
"In this secret place of prayer, where no eye but God's can see, no ear but His can hear, we may pour out our most hidden desires and longings to the Father of in finite pity; and in the hush and silence of the soul, that voice which never fails to answer the cry of human need, will speak to our hearts." Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, p. 84.
