Your Attitude Is Showing

DEAR JESUS, help me to be sweet and kind and good!" This lovely prayer came from the lips of my five-year-old niece. It was not just a one-time prayer, but an everyday request that made a deep impression on me. . .

-Bible Instructor, Ohio Conference

DEAR JESUS, help me to be sweet and kind and good!" This lovely prayer came from the lips of my five-year-old niece. It was not just a one-time prayer, but an everyday request that made a deep impression on me.

How encompassing is that prayer! A sweet, kind, good Christian will have a power of influence that will make him an effective witness for Christ. "If we would ... be kind and courteous and tender-hearted and pitiful, there would be one hundred conversions to the truth where now there is only one."— Testimonies, vol. 9, p. 189.

But how do we become sweet and kind and good? Is it a front we put on because it is expected of us? Is it some thing we can generate at will? No, only the grace of God can produce such a life. "By the power of His grace manifested in the transformation of character the world is to be convinced that God has sent His Son as its Redeemer. No other influence that can surround the human soul has such power as the influence of an unselfish life. The strongest argument in favor of the gospel is a loving and lovable Christian."— The Ministry of Healing, p. 470.

While only the grace of Christ can produce such a character, there is a work for us to do in cooperating with divine power. Our power of choice exercised toward this end might be summarized in one brief word—attitudes!

As an academy dean of girls I learned to appreciate the importance of the word attitude. It was not always the student whose outward conduct was reprehensible who did the most damage in the student body or the dormitory. More often it was the one with the bad attitude whose conduct was so borderline that it was difficult to discipline him for anything in particular, yet whose attitudes might be working like poison among the students.

Attitudes are so intangible, yet their power is beyond computation. They are like the atmosphere that surrounds us in the physical world. You cannot see it, yet it is very evident to the senses. A cold winter wind drives us to the warmth of the fireplace. But let the spring sun warm the atmosphere, and we can hardly be restrained indoors, we are eager to absorb every life-giving ray. So our attitudes either chill those around us or they send forth warm rays of life and love.

Not long ago an extensive study was done on ministers' wives of all faiths from all parts of the United States in an effort to determine whether there was any one pattern or image for the successful wife. All sorts of patterns emerged, but there was no one ideal image to the exclusion of others. The "ideal minister's wife" myth was exploded except for one thing: What made the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful was basically one word—attitude! What she did or did not do, how involved she be came in the church program, were not the criteria of success, but rather her attitude toward her role as a minister's wife, her attitudes toward her husband, his work, and his congregation. Wives with a positive, wholesome attitude to ward their role were happy and satisfied, obstacles notwithstanding, while those with negative attitudes almost always had serious problems.

Dorothy Harrison Pentecost in her book The Pastor's Wife and the Church says it well: "In the light of a dictionary definition of an attitude, one can see at a glance that the way the pastor's wife feels will affect everything she does in the church and also gradually, in subtle, undercover ways not seen by the congregation, affect her husband's attitude toward his work. Being human, as we are, prob ably most of us are a wonderful help to our husbands at times and a real detriment at others. It is important to remember that as long as our attitudes and motives are right, the few mistakes we make that hinder the work will soon be for gotten and the work as a whole will not be hurt."—Pages 245, 246.

It is appropriate, then, that we as Adventist ministers' wives take a look at our attitudes. What kind of attitudes do our people see in us?

A marvelous index to our attitudes, both good and bad, is found in The Ministry of Healing, in the last section, entitled "The Worker's Need." While the word attitude itself is not used, there could be no better description. Notice some of the contrasting attitudes as given there:

Positive Negative
1. Humility. No "bustle and self-importance." "Purity of motive." Daily work performed faithfully. (Page 477.) 1. Self-pity. "Beware of self-pity," indulging feeling efforts not appreciated, work too difficult. Craving promotion. (Page 476.)
2. Trust, accepting God's providential leadings, committing our ways to Him. "Rest confidingly in His love." (Page 488.) 2. Worry, anxiety, talking discouragement, feelings of unrest, afraid to trust God. (Pages 478, 480.) "Worry is blind and cannot discern the future." Wears out life forces.
3. Optimism. Hopeful, courageous, cheerful, light-hearted, joyous. (Pages 481, 474, 488, 497.) 3. Despondency "is sinful and unreasonable." "We need not keep our own record of trials." (Pages 481, 487.)
4. Sympathy, forbearance for the erring. Consider rights of every man. Strengthen others by encouraging words. (Pages 483, 492, 485-487.) 4. Judging and accusing, harsh judgment, dwelling on faults of others. (Pages 490, 492, 494.)
5. Forbearance under wrong. "Cease to mind little differences," not disturbed by what others think or say. (Pages 485-487.) 5. Self-defense, easily wounded feelings. Retaliation, dwelling on grievances. (Pages 485, 492.)
6. Praise and thankfulness to God. (Page 492.) 6. Criticism and condemning others. (Page 492.)
7. Patience and kindness, amid frets and irritation—self-possessed. (Pages 495, 487.) 7. Impatience may cut cords of influence. (Page 494.)
8. Self-worth—have sense of, keep hearts alive to sacredness of work. (Page 498.) 8. Lack of self-confidence, low estimate of self fatal. (Page 498.)
9. Determination, diligence, indomitableness; shape circumstances rather than them shaping you. (Pages 498-500.) 9. Indecision, weakness. "Many become inefficient by evading responsibilities." (Pages 498, 500.)
10. Commitment, singleness of purpose, ready for toil or sacrifice. (Page 502.) 10. Self-indulgence, "self-interest is the ruling motive." (Page 499.)

Our formal prayers may not be the words of a little child, "Dear Jesus, help me to be sweet and kind and good," yet the cry of our hearts in secret prayer may be much the same. God's answer to this prayer must involve our thoughts, for thinking invariably molds our attitudes and behavior. "We need a constant sense of the ennobling power of pure thoughts. The only security for any soul is right thinking."—Ibid., p. 491.

Our attitudes do reveal what we have been thinking, for as a woman thinketh in her heart, so is she!

-Bible Instructor, Ohio Conference

July 1972

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