Dear Shepherdess: In my recent travels I found that many of our shepherdesses are not acquainted with the book By His Side. This paperback book was compiled by Mrs. R. H. Pierson in 1970, especially for wives of ministers. It was written by fifteen women who have stood by the side of their husbands in various areas of "the work." The publishers like to move their stock, so have added this book to their "bargain" list.
I hope that those of you who do not have a copy will purchase one soon, as the supply is limited and probably will not be reprinted. It is available from your Adventist Book Center for less than a dollar. A real bargain! Charlotte Erickson quotes from it in the article for this month.
I enjoy receiving the shepherdess newsletters from the various conferences. Recently the following books have been recommended for good reading. From the "Shepherdess News" in Michigan, The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom with John and Elizabeth Sherrill (Spire Books, 1971, 219 pages).
When Corrie ten Boom first witnessed suffering and death as a small child, it was too overwhelming for her young heart to accept the fact that some day she would lose some loved one. "Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. 'Corrie,' he began gently, 'when you and I go to Amsterdam— when do I give you your ticket?'
"I sniffed a few times, considering this."
"'Why, just before I get on the train.'
" 'Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need—just in time.' "
Her father's timely counsel was to sustain Corrie through scores of tragic episodes in the darkness of World War II. No need arose for which God did not provide power and grace in due season.
The Hiding Place is the true story of Corrie ten Boom and her family who, during the German invasion and occupation of Holland, became instrumental in the Dutch Underground, giving Jewish people refuge in a secret room in their house and assisting in their escape from the Nazis. For such involvement, many met death in concentration camps, but Corrie miraculously survived to be gin a post-war career of relating her inspiring experiences and aiding in the rehabilitation of war victims, rekindling in them their lost faith, love and forgiveness of their enemies. The sequel Tramp for the Lord is also inspiring.
From the "Royal News" in Nebraska a little book by the Christian author, Eugenia Price, Make Love Your Aim is suggested by Carroll Dunston. One section deals with "Love and Relinquishment."
"Real love gives with its hand open. . . . Real love must learn to relinquish even what is dearest to its heart—especially what is dearest to its heart. . . . Relinquishing something or someone dear to us into the hands of God is hard, but once we have tried it, healing comes and a new interest in eternal life. Daily relinquishment of all that we love into the hands of the God of love is the only way for our love responses to grow. Whatever we manage to relinquish to God as a love-offering He returns to us in love—His love, the love that always chooses the best for us."
In "The Helpmate" of the Upper Columbia Conference, Betty Bolejack mentions the following: His Stubborn Love, by Joyce Landorf, is a dramatic account of a young couple who almost lost the marriage game. An account of God's persevering love, even with indifference and carelessness, the book pictures the results of selfishness. Daughter of a minister, active in church work and music, this young wife came to the brink of divorce and even suicide. The ringing telephone and calm quote of a Scripture verse stayed the razor and brought conversion and the abundant life. This is a valuable book to lend or give to couples having marriage problems. His Stubborn Love, by Joyce Landorf, can be ordered from Zondervan Publishing House.
Happy reading to you all! The quiet time we have with our heavenly Father each day fortifies us for our daily tasks. Let us take time to listen to what He has to tell us. Helen Steiner Rice puts it this way:
There's an old Chinese proverb, that, if practiced each day,
Would change the whole world in a wonderful way—
Its truth is so simple, it's so easy to do,
And it works every time and successfully, too—
For you can't do a kindness without a reward,
Not in silver nor gold but in joy from the Lord—
You can't light a candle to show others the way
Without feeling the warmth of that bright little ray
And you can't pluck a rose, all fragrant with dew,
Without part of its fragrance remaining with you.
—With love, Kay
JUST how much of our time and energy do we "owe" our church and community? As a mother of two small children, this problem seems to be already answered for me. It's not so much a matter of deciding how much time should be spent in church work, but more a problem of finding time at all. At times I feel almost guilty because I can't do more. But Mrs. White has some encouraging words for mothers, and I believe they apply to the ministerial wife and mother too.
"Mothers who sigh for a missionary field have one at hand in their own home circle." —The Adventist Home, p. 245.
"As workers for God, our work is to begin with those nearest. It is to begin in our own home. There is no more important missionary field than this." —Child Guidance, p. 476.
Certainly the Lord places the highest value on the work of the mother in the home. I don't believe the minister's wife is an exception. Her first obligation is to her home and family.
What about the minister's wife who has no children or whose children are no longer at home? "There are some who think that unless they are directly connected with active religious work, they are not doing the will of God; but this is a mistake. ... It is a wonderful work to make home pleasant and all that it ought to be."—The Adventist Home, p. 245.
Here again it appears that the shepherdess' most important work is in the home.
This does not mean, of course, that she is to neglect church work. There are numerous contributions she may make to her church and to her community, depending upon her talents and the amount of energy she possesses. But the important thing to remember is that this outside work should not rob her of time that should be spent in making the minister's home an exemplary one.
The minister's wife who is employed outside the home must also put her home and family first. But she should be willing to accept church responsibilities, lest her members think her job is more important than her church.
Perhaps too many of us feel we have an "image" to live up to. We may need to learn the art of saying No—tactfully and kindly, of course. You may receive criticism for this, but remember you are the one accountable to God for your time and energy. He expects no more of you than you are able to do. One minister's wife told me, "I'd rather have people criticize me now than later when my children are out of the church." How tragic it would be to reach heaven and find many people you have helped win for the Lord, but to discover that your own children didn't make it!
Our health is another factor in deciding how much work we can do. I have seen ministers' wives literally wear themselves out, as if they thought the church would fall apart without them. Your body is the "temple of God," even if you're a minister's wife!
We must never forget or become too busy to have our own private devotions. This is essential if we are to have God's peace and love in our hearts and radiate it to others. It also gives us strength to face the hardships that come along and wisdom to know how to deal with problems in the home and in our work for the church. We should not become so busy doing God's work that we're too busy for God!
The minister's wife is a wife and mother first. Her priority assignment is to see that her family is well nourished —physically and spiritually. Her home should be neat and presentable—not only for visitors, but for those who live there, as well. She should take time for herself, seeing that she gets plenty of rest and exercise. She should, as far as possible, keep the home running smoothly, with a minimum of chaos and confusion, and make sure her husband eats regularly and maintains good health. She should keep his clothes neat and in good order. She needs to guard his study time religiously. And she should be prepared to assume the leadership role in the family in her husband's absence.
Then, when we conscientiously feel we have fulfilled our home obligations, we have a decided obligation and should be eager to do our part in the church and in the community.
Edna Maye Loveless sums it up in the book By His Side. "I think my best contribution may be provision of a tranquil home where I perform the house hold tasks. My husband, involved as he is with multiple concerns, needs no household chores when he comes home. You might say that he is my contribution to the community (or to the church)." —Page 123.
