Church Growth Through the Family-Life Center

Specific instructions on how to organize a family-lifecenter in your church.

Richard Stenbakken is currently serving in the U.S. Army at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, where he holds the
position of administrative chaplain.

 

WITH DIVORCE rates soaring, teenagers running away as never before, and family problems increasing, there obviously is a crying need for a better understanding on the part of ministers as to what they can do to help the most basic unit of church and society—the family.

"One well-ordered, well-disciplined family tells more in behalf of Christianity than all the sermons that can be preached." 1 Or, as Verna Birkey says, "No church is stronger than the Christian families that are in it. You can almost measure the effectiveness and vitality and the Christian influence and power for the gospel of a church by checking the families that represent it. No church is stronger than the family life of its members." 2

It is abundantly clear that something must be done to reduce the devastating pain and disruption families are experiencing today and to create positive patterns of ministry that will build stronger families—both spiritually and emotionally. Any impact the church is able to make on the changing family structure will of necessity be grounded in the principles of an unchanging gospel.

Sure! Great! Amen! But . . . how do you do it? That is the practical question that underlies the philosophical and theoretical inertia many churches face.

There are ways to make your church a means of really helping the family. The church can become a family-life center.

This can be done without changing the soul-winning-evangelistic objectives or the normal patterns; it may be that you are already doing many things suggested in this article. By changing some of the emphases and putting the pro gram into a new format, it is possible to bring new vitality to the individuals and families of your community and your church. Most of this can be done without special training for the pastor or the administrator of the program.

A key factor in developing a family life center is, of course, organization. God's Spirit must guide, but He can best guide a well-organized program. "God is not the author of confusion" (1 Cor. 14:33). Since one of the gifts of the Spirit is that of "governments" (chap. 12:28) or "power to guide" (N.E.B.),* it is essential that there be a long-range plan.

No pastor can direct a family-life center alone. Not only would it be too much to handle but it would deny the use of talents, ideas, and help available from others in the church. In most congregations there can be an almost automatic selection of lay leaders who have interests or training to help carry on this kind of outreach. Their help, ideas, and objective view of the plans can be a valuable asset to the church.

Something as simple as the idea of using one of the housewives in your congregation to teach how to bake bread may develop into one of your most popular classes. If competent people are not already available, perhaps those interested could be sent for such training as a legitimate lay activity of the church. In case appropriate help is not available in the church, Christian resource people in the community might be used on a limited and carefully screened basis as we are already accustomed to doing in our Five-Day Stop Smoking classes. Many programs are now available on tape, video cassette, or movie if personnel are not available to run them "live."

The organizational chart on page 18 can serve as a guideline in achieving evangelistic outreach and family healing through a family-oriented church program. The four suggested headings all have the same aims, that is: (1) to apply the healing of the gospel to wounds and hurts in families, and (2) to develop positive patterns of ministry for spiritual and emotional growth.

A vital concept to keep in mind is that of planning active programs, not just reactive ones. Prevention of problems and encouragement of positive Christian growth are primary goals. Counseling, when that is needed, has its place in a viable family-life program. How ever, counseling families is just as specific a skill as is preaching. As people in the church and community become aware that there is a caring ministry to families, another problem (or blessing or challenge) develops: people will begin to seek help for family and personal hurts. The prepared pastor will know his capabilities and limitations in counseling. He will know who is available to help with counseling when it is beyond the limits of his skills or time.

Long-range Planning

One way to expand ministry to families is to be aware of the opportunities that beg to be used every year through the use of long-range planning around the calendar. Most Christians are already familiar with the liturgical calendar and plan their year around Lent, Advent, Easter, and other Christian events. Many other weeks are promoted through the secular calendar. It may be helpful for the Adventist pastor to consider such a calendar and build his pro gram around specific local and national interests. For instance, the whole nation is promoting Mother's Day and Father's Day. Why not take advantage of this period and have a special series of sermons on the home in this six-to-eight week period? A family-life evangelistic series, as outlined later in this article, might be particularly effective during this period. You may wish to emphasize vegetarian cooking during Lent or sponsor nutrition classes during National Nutrition Week or hold a special series or class on Christian women during National Women's Week. Depending on your community, you might offer something special for the black family during Black History Week or in connection with Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday. When working within such a structure your advertising and public relations problems are greatly simplified.

One excellent planning book that I find most helpful is the Ecumenical Daily Appointment Planner available from Catholic Supply Company, 5851 Chippewa, St. Louis, Missouri 63109. The regular edition is $3.95 and the deluxe padded-cover desk edition is $6.95. Its value lies in its listings of Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, national, and other holidays for the current year and for the next three years.

One lesson learned through experience in developing a family-life center is the absolute need for long-range planning. Unless serious time is spent with a calendar in one hand and the Bible in the other, even an outstanding idea can turn into a mess. Programs should have an easy flow and sequence. They should be spaced well so people don't weary themselves in well-doing. Retreats, guest speakers, films, and other items demand advance scheduling. So do their costs.

Some of the programs and classes you may wish to promote through your family-life center church are indicated in the box on the next page. Some of these classes or programs have openly religious connotations and some do not, but all will bring people to your church and make it an obvious center for the improvement of your community. They will break down prejudice and encourage interests to at tend other programs the church has to offer. The regular Sabbath, church, and prayer meetings, and youth services of the church can and should be advertised also as part of the educational and worship aspects of the family-life center.

Evangelistic Follow-up

The evangelistic meeting can be an important part of the family-life year, also. The Bible contains many parallels between the relationship of husband and wife and the relationship between Christ and the church. It would seem natural that the doctrines that draw us to Christ would also have their counter parts in family relationships.

One of the pitfalls of modern evangelism is that of answering questions that most people are not ready to ask, or that their immediate pain tells them are not important now. By building your series around family-problem prevention and therapy you may be able to reach many people for the first time.

One suggestion for such a series may be a one-hour, early-evening series with very little of the usual music, movies, or other preludes. The first half hour might be spent on a special family emphasis and the last half hour on the related doctrinal study, or they may be combined. Such a program can be quite relevant to the busy modern young family, especially if nursery services are also provided. A schedule showing how the family topics might be related to doctrinal subjects appears in the box above.

For most programs involving families it is a good policy to provide nursery or child care so parents with small children can attend and give their full attention, knowing their children are nearby and cared for.

Of course, the best problem to have and any church developing a fully balanced family-life center should have it is what to do with the rapid growth that will be experienced. People will respond when the church begins to answer questions that are being asked. And where is a better place to get answers to family living than the church? After all, the Biblical account of God's dealing with man begins and ends with the theme of the family from our first parents in Eden to the marriage supper of the Lamb. God has a vital interest in the family.

Can we have less?

Notes:

1 E. G. White, Review and Herald, June 6, 1899.

2 Verna Birkey, God's Pattern for Successful Living (Kent, Washington: Seminar Workshops for Women, 1971), p. 1.


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Richard Stenbakken is currently serving in the U.S. Army at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, where he holds the
position of administrative chaplain.

December 1977

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