Pastor Robert Smith has just replaced the telephone receiver. Now he sits slumped in his chair, staring blankly at the books on the opposite wall of his study. His eyes are dry, but tears are in his heart. For the first time, the thought flickers across his mind that perhaps entering the ministry was a mistake.
Five years ago, just out of seminary, Bob Smith had begun his ministry with a feeling of anticipation, only slightly tinted with apprehension. Certain of his calling to the ministry, he was quietly confident that, trusting in God and guided by the Holy Spirit, he would acquit himself well in the Lord's work.
Now, halfway through the third year of his second pastorate, that feeling of confidence has given way to mingled frustration and discouragement that threatens to deepen into depression.
The problem is not in the public areas of his ministry. Bob knows he is not a great preacher, but he feels that he is a reasonably good one. Nor is he complacent. He works hard at his preaching, and indications are that he is improving steadily, if not spectacularly.
His plans and programs meet with no more than the usual amount of apathy and inertia on the part of his members. He knows, from talking with other pastors of his denomination, that their programs encounter the same apathy and inertia and in approximately the same degree.
It is in the private areas of his work, in working with individuals and families, that Bob Smith feels he has failed.
The just-finished telephone conversation has brought the problem into sharp focus, and the knot in his stomach tells him that he has failed again. He had called Joyce Powell to ask whether she would teach in the kindergarten department during the coming year.
"I'm sorry, pastor, I can't." Her voice was tight and strained. "I might as well tell you now. Bill packed his things and left this morning. We spent most of the night screaming at each other. I've called my lawyer to arrange a divorce."
The words came like a kick in the face. Bob had been counseling with the Powells for three months. At the first session, he had evaluated their marital problems as serious but not fatal. The counseling had been uphill work. Each partner had felt that it was the other who should make the necessary changes in attitude and behavior. Recently, however, Bob had become somewhat optimistic. The Powells' marriage was still far from ideal, but he thought he saw definite improvement.
Now it is over; the dream of a restored Christian home has been shattered. The hours of counseling, the patient reasoning first with one and then the other, the seasons of prayer—all gone for nothing.
For Bob, it is the latest in a long series of similar incidents. Of the married couples he has recently counseled, one besides the Powells has divorced, one has separated, and one appears to be reestablishing a truly Christian home. The others are still together, but Bob knows that their prob lems lie just beneath the surface, ready to explode into separation or divorce at any moment.
Since his ministry began, Bob has put a great deal of time and effort into visiting alienated and missing members in his church. A few have responded by return ing to church once or twice before disappearing again; one now attends church regularly, and one does so on a very irregular basis. Bob knows of no other results from his visits and prayers.
Ten years ago, before Bob even began studying for the ministry, two families in his present church became estranged. A trifling incident was blown out of proportion, feelings were aroused on both sides, and things were said that left lasting scars. Both families were prominent in the church, and Bob had seen right away that the bad feeling between them was cooling the warm Christian love that should exist in the church.
Last year he decided to make a serious attempt to bring the two families together. Going to one, he appealed to them to be reconciled and found them receptive. The situation, they agreed, had gone on far too long, and it was time to forget the whole thing.
Full of optimism, Bob had approached the other family, but his hopes were quickly dashed. They listened coldly to his plea for unity, and stated flatly that only a formal apology from the other family, in the presence of the congregation, could bring about a reconciliation. When the first group learned of this response, their own attitude hardened.
The net result of Bob's effort is that the breach between the families and their supporters is now wider than before.
Now, with Joyce Powells words echoing in his mind, Bob asks himself whether he was mistaken in thinking that he was called to the ministry. If his call was a genuine one, why does he seem to be so clumsy at it? Why are the defeats so many and the victories so few?
Bob Smith is suffering from a common complaint among pastors—the "I must not have handled it right" syndrome. Its chief symptom is the pastor's nagging feeling that whenever he is unable to resolve a problem, he is somehow personally responsible for the failure—that there must have been some method that would have led to a complete solution, and he failed to find it.
The pastor's reasoning usually goes something like this: I am a minister of the gospel. My weapon is the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (see Eph. 6:17). It is a perfect weapon; therefore, if it fails to achieve the desired result, it must be the fault of the one who uses it. It follows, then, that I am to blame.
Such reasoning is a blend of the true and the false. The pastor's weapon is indeed the perfect Word of God. It does not follow, however, that the pastor is necessarily to blame if his use of this perfect weapon does not lead to a perfect solution. Certainly it is possible, even with the very best intentions, to use the Word of God unskillfully, and no pastor is as expert in its use as he would like to be. But this does not mean that the pastor bears the responsibility for every failure when he has used the sword of the Spirit. Use of a perfect weapon, however skillfully one may use it, does not guarantee perfect results!
A few examples, taken from Scripture itself, may help to illustrate this point.
When the issue of circumcision for Gentile converts arose in the early days of the Christian church, the leaders met in council at Jerusalem to settle the issue. Paul, Barnabas, and Peter were there (see Acts 15:1-11). Who can doubt that the Word of God was wielded with mighty power at that council? And with great effect! An issue that might have virtually halted the spread of the gospel among the Gentiles was laid to rest—or was it? Sometime later, members of the Jerusalem church came to Antioch and raised the issue again. So successful were their disruptive efforts that Paul's beloved friend Barnabas, and even Peter, who had argued forcefully on Paul's side at Jerusalem, were deceived and misled by their hypocrisy.
In the church at Philippi, friction arose between two Christian women, Euodias and Syntyche, both of whom had actively assisted Paul in his labors in that area. The situation became serious enough that the apostle himself had to plead with them to settle their differences (see Phil. 4:2, 3). It is tempting to assume that both women heeded his plea, and perhaps they did. But we have no evidence that the great apostle was any more successful in this case than is the average pastor of today in a similar situation.
In fact, Paul himself had a disagreement with Barnabas that became so heated that these two great missionaries could no longer work together (see Acts 15:37-39).
Even the Lord Jesus Christ Himself was not uniformly successful in His dealings with others. Instead of accepting His teaching, many of His listeners turned away, never to follow Him again (see John 6:66). A wealthy young man came to Jesus asking the way to eternal life. The Master answered his question with divine skill, yet the young man "went away sorrowful" (Matt. 19:22).
If the apostles, and even the Lord Himself, were unable to find a solution for every problem, surely no pastor can justly reproach himself for not always succeeding.
One of the causes of Bob Smith's perplexity is the flood of books pouring from the religious press today, telling him how to handle personal and marital counseling and difficult church situations. Within arm's reach of where Bob sits slumped in his chair is a whole shelf of such books. Although many give helpful guidance, some of them can do more harm than good if the pastor does not use them carefully.
Their chief flaw is not that they give bad advice. Rather, their main fault lies in the fact that so many imply that the methods they recommend are not only effective but virtually foolproof. Only success stories are related; the failures never get into the books. The pastor is often left with the impression that if he simply follows the methods outlined in the book, he cannot fail. When he does fail, he feels defeated and disappointed in himself. He feels that somehow he must have mishandled the situation.
In actual fact, what has usually happened is that neither the pastor nor his method has failed. What has failed is sinful human nature. The pastor works, not with things, but with people—human beings, created in the image of God but with natures twisted and scarred by sin. As Paul reminds us, "The carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be" (Rom. 8:7). Even among sincere Christians, enough of this carnal mind often remains to make the work of the pastor extremely difficult.
The Word of God is indeed "quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword" (Heb. 4:12), but the human heart can nevertheless resist it. The door of the heart can be opened only from the inside (see Rev. 3:20). In most cases where the pastor's efforts to resolve an unfortunate situation have failed, the real reason for the failure is that a heart has not been opened from the inside to allow the Holy Spirit to come in and take possession.
This, of course, does not excuse the pastor who fails to study and apply the principles of sound psychology and the proper use of Scripture to the problems of his work. Christ Himself has told us that we are to be "wise as serpents" (Matt. 10:16). It should, however, reassure the pastor who sometimes feels close to despair as he sees his best efforts fail time after time in spite of much prayer and earnest labor.
The following guidelines may help the discouraged pastor as he struggles to bring Christian order out of the chaos that sin often creates even within the Christian church:
1. Approach every difficult situation with much prayer for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Christ has promised the Holy Spirit to all who ask for it (see Luke 11:13). It is God's will that harmony and love prevail among Christian brethren (see 1 John 4:7-11), and that Christian homes be preserved (see Mark 10:9). Therefore, you can be sure that your aims and the aims of the Holy Spirit are one.
2. Maintain an attitude of Christian love for all parties concerned. All are children of God, even though many of them do not act the part.
3. Maintain your objectivity. This is not always easy to do. Sometimes, as you try to straighten out a tangled situation, you will come to feel strongly that some of the people involved are "right" and others are "wrong." Remember that you are not on anyone's side. Your aim is not to place blame or assess responsibility. Your aim is to restore harmony and Christian love.
4. Recognize that it is impossible to force people to believe or to behave in accordance with the principles of Scripture. The Holy Spirit will not do this, and you cannot. If, after giving your best effort in Christian love, you find that you cannot resolve a problem, accept that fact and do not blame yourself. Do not tell yourself that if you had only used a different passage of Scripture, or if you had explained the situation more clearly or presented it more forcefully, you would have succeeded. It is very unlikely that this is true. "Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts" (Zech. 4:6). The Word of God has a force and power of its own. If you have sincerely tried to use the Word to accomplish God's purposes, you have done all you can do. The failure is not yours; it belongs to those who have refused to yield themselves to the control of the Holy Spirit.
5. Before trying to handle any problem, ask yourself whether it is really your responsibility. One of the shortest encounters of Jesus' earthly life is recorded in Luke 12:13, 14. A man requested the Lord's assistance in obtaining what he regarded as his rightful share of an inheritance. Jesus' brief reply was final: "Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you?" Without entering into the rights and wrongs of the case, Jesus flatly refused to become involved. Pastors today would do well to be guided by His example. It is not unknown for church members to request the pastor's help in matters that are, frankly, none of the pastor's business. If this happens to you, remember Christ's attitude. You might wish to make your reply somewhat less blunt than His, but it should be no less final. The pastor who, when he faces a problem, takes a moment to ask himself whether this matter really lies within the scope of his pastoral responsibilities, can often save himself from an unnecessary defeat (and perhaps from a great deal of unnecessary embarrassment).
6. Recognize that there are some situations that, although they lie within the scope of the pastor's responsibility, cannot be handled at all without making them worse. Failure to realize this was Bob Smith's mistake when he tried to reconcile the two estranged families. Problems of long standing, especially if previous pastors have tried unsucessfully to deal with them, often fall into this category. Remember that the funeral director is going to have to solve some of your church problems for you.
Learning to live with unsolved or partially solved problems is a part of life for everyone, and pastors are not exempt. In fact, they probably find this learning experience a bigger part of their "lives than do most people. It is a frustrating part, but an unavoidable one. A clear under standing of this fact, and a realistic appraisal of what one may reasonably expect to accomplish when dealing with human beings who are free moral agents, will help the pastor avoid depression and self-accusation when the defeats, as they so often do, seem to outnumber the victories.
