Be a friend to your minister's wife."
This touching bit of loving advice came from a local church elder's wife speaking to a group of women who were, like herself, the wives of church elders. "It can be very lonely at times for your pastor's wife," she continued, "because she often feels that she should relate to all church members in the same way, not forming special friend ships with any particular family. And because of the relationship of the pastor with the elders of his church, you, as the elder's wife, can be a great benefit and blessing to the pastor's wife—both in a spiritual way and also in a social sense as well."
A number of women who had been elders' wives for many years had been called together to express their ideas on their role in an effort to help and encourage the women who were new at being elders' wives, especially the younger women.
Each wife, without exception, stressed that a personal relationship with Christ was the first requirement if one was to fulfill the role of an elder's wife success fully. ' The elder's family is looked to as spiritual leaders in the church, and this can become reality only if time is spent in prayer and study on an individual basis as well as a family basis. Our churches are in good hands when elders' wives realize their need and seek for daily spiritual strength from the Lord to help them fulfill a sacred responsibility placed upon them. How thankful we should be for our dedicated elders and their families! Our churches would be hard pressed to progress without them.
The lovely desire to be a friend to her pastor's wife, expressed by this particular elder's wife, caused me to wonder whether we, as pastors' wives, are allowing, and indeed encouraging, such a relationship to exist. Elders' wives as well as pastors' wives need encouragement and strength, and doesn't the unique relationship of pastor's wife/elder's wife provide wonderful opportunity for the two to be of mutual blessing and benefit? I wondered further whether perhaps some elders' wives are floundering in their roles, not understanding what is expected of them, not realizing the tremendous opportunity as well as responsibility resting upon their shoulders. And what about the young women whose husbands have just become elders? How and where do they begin? You, the pastor's wife, can be their source of guidance and encouragement.
The role of the elder's wife, as described in the following observations made by elders' wives themselves, may be of help to you in befriending and being befriended by the elders' wives in your church.
1. Maintain a close, personal relation ship with the Lord. Nothing can take the place of this experience.
2. Love every church member, every visitor, everyone in your community. This is possible when each individual is seen through the compassionate eyes of Christ.
3. Keep a positive attitude toward every phase of the church program. This is vital since leadership by attitude and example is the most effective.
4. Be supportive of the pastor and his wife. If something needs correction, go to them privately.
5. Actively participate (this does not necessarily always mean leading out) in such general activities of the church as prayer meeting, Community Services work, showers for newlyweds and new babies, Ingathering, and other types of witnessing programs.
6. Visit, visit, visit! This includes church members in general, members who are having problems, members negligent in regular attendance, members who are sick and confined to homes, newly baptized members, and newcomers to the area.
7. Greet visitors to the church in the friendliest manner possible; seek them out and make them so welcome that they will be "compelled" to return.
8. Open your home for mealtime guests: the "stranger in your midst," the church family who may be needing special encouragement, the visiting guest speaker.
9. Clip sermon ideas, poems, stories, et cetera, for your husband if he takes speaking appointments (a large number of elders do), and be his gentle and loving critic only if needed.
10. Be a Christian witness and example of refinement in manners and dress (this includes the entire family).
In summary, be alert and willing to do what needs to be done, whether cleaning the church, presenting the mission appeal, or praying for the sick. Action can only follow willingness, and willingness follows a complete surrender to Christ in whatever way He directs.
Be a friend to your church elders' wives! They will be a friend to you!
Prayers from the parsonage
I never realized that our two children would draw so many others into family activities. Neighborhood youngsters pound on the door while we're eating breakfast. They would sit and watch us finish if I didn't suggest they stay outside until Lisa and Bans are ready.
Gradually the back yard comes alive as friends arrive to play in the sandbox or on the swings. Trikes and bikes clutter the driveway, and toys are scattered on the porch. A quick lunch, and the children are back, wondering whether I'll fill the wading pool. Then they ask for drinks and want to use the bathroom. As I work in the garden toward evening, they follow me around asking a dozen questions.
Lisa would gladly invite the whole gang for supper, but I point them homeward, knowing a few will straggle back at dusk to borrow jars for catching lightning bugs.
Children coming and going, copying and pretending, shouting and laughing. Sometimes squabbling, sometimes hurting, but mostly having fun.
"And Jesus. . . took a child, and set him by him, and said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me" (Luke 9:47, 48).
Lord, help me to accept each little playmate as I would welcome You. May I willingly share our yard and home as places for safe, happy times. Give me good ideas so a suggestion or simple prop will inspire the children to create their own games.
Let my voice be pleasant and my smile warm when I answer their demands or must enforce a rule.
Please grant that sixth sense that alerts me to brewing mischief or potential danger. I can't watch them every minute, yet I feel responsible.
Most important, though, show me how to introduce these youngsters to You. They can list every Star Wars character but don't know even common Bible names. To most, You're just another superstar, only not as exciting as their TV heroes.
Oh, I could give each child a shell from my collection or take time to play a game of catch. I could hand out watermelon slices or organize a round-the-block parade, but nothing I could share would be as wonderful as a glimpse of Your love and interest. Help them to discover You, their dearest friend.
