"Morale in Ministry—-A Study of the Pastor as a Person" appeared in the December, 1981, MINISTRY. This article reported the first half of a study conducted by the Andrews University Institute of Church Ministry and commissioned by the General Conference Ministerial Stewardship Association. The second half of this study, which appears below, examines the role of the pastor's wife and the problems faced by this half of the pastoral team.
There is no educational training for becoming a minister's wife. One simply marries a man who is planning to be or who is a minister or who after marriage becomes a minister. Because of the nature of her husband's job, a pastor's wife is involved in his work—trained or not. There is no standard measure of success or failure; she must set her own standards for satisfaction or dissatisfaction in her work as the first lady of the parsonage.
The North American Division Church Growth Study was the first major research study done by the Seventh-day Adventist Church that included wives of Adventist ministers. (See "A New View of the Pastor's Wife," MINISTRY, June, 1981.) The results of that study pointed to the need for a more personal look at the spouse of the male pastor. So a second study was directed to the question of well-being among Adventist pastors' wives. This questionnaire, called " The Pastor's Spouse as Wife and Person," was sent to 238 pastors' wives. Of these, 157 returned usable surveys. When the results of this study are compared with the study of morale among ministers (the companion study for husbands of the participants), one may get a glimpse of morale in the Adventist pastor's home.
The wife profile
Each of the first thirteen items was presented as a statement to which the wife could strongly disagree, disagree some what, remain neutral, agree somewhat, or agree strongly.
A close look at Table 1 indicates that pastors and wives make major decisions together more easily than they talk together about their deepest feelings. The item "My husband always confers with me before making a major decision (such as accepting a call)" ranked highest in both percent (94) and mean (4-7). Only 3 percent disagreed with the statement. Fewer, however, agreed that they have an open relationship and can freely discuss their deepest feelings with each other. On this item 83 percent agreed. And only 80 percent of the pastors participate in regular family worship in the home.
A continuing education program that would meet the specific needs of a pastor's wife ranked second, with 89 percent of the wives affirming this need; and 75 percent of the wives reported that they now have an effective program for personal growth.
The happy side of the report is that 85 percent of the women enjoy being a pastor's wife and 82 percent feel they are successful in that role. The concept of a counselor with no ties to administration with whom pastors and their wives could discuss problems was opposed by only 5 percent of the respondents.
The most alarming finding is that 67 percent feel loneliness and isolation in the ministry. The item "sometimes I feel guilty taking time away from my husband's work for my personal needs" showed that guilt is experienced by 37 percent of the wives. In addition, 21 percent sometimes wish their husbands would leave the pastoral ministry.
Only 13 percent agreed that preachers' children create more problems for their families than other church members' children. About 12 percent did not feel that church members accepted them as individuals with needs like anyone else.
Wives were asked whether they ever worried or were bothered about the seven items listed in variables 14-20 (see Table 2). The highest amount of concern (72 percent of the women) was for "having enough family time." Closely allied to this is the second major item of concern, "worrying about finances." This item received the highest mean score (2.84) and was reported by 68 percent of the wives.
More than half (63 percent) of the women worry about being adequate pas tors' wives. It has already been noticed that the clergy wife's greatest concern is the need for the family time alone, and this theme is repeated in item 20 in her concern that "others' needs have priority over the family." For 58 percent of the women this is a source of worry.
Half of the wives (49 percent) are bothered by members' criticism of them, and one third (33 percent) are concerned about receiving conference administrators' approval. One-third (32 percent) also worry about getting along with members in the church.
Most meaningful Joy
The wives were asked four open-ended questions. Answers to the question "The joy or opportunity which has meant most to me in sharing in my husband's work is ..." fell into thirty-four categories. Those chosen by a significant percentage of pastors' wives are shown in Table 3.
In sharing their husbands' work, developing friendships, meeting people, and finding fellowship ranked as the number one joy with 24 percent of the wives. Following in close second, with 23 percent of the women, was "seeing persons come to Christ/soul winning."
Analysis of the table leads to the conclusion that joy for wives is found in working for others in outreach ministries and in church nurture. Some typical responses were:
"Seeing how peoples' lives can be changed through our humble efforts."
"I can work side by side with my husband. He says we are a team—that means a lot to me."
"The opportunity of visiting the church members together."
Most real problem for me
The second open-ended question asks, "The problem of conflict which has been most real for me as a pastor's wife is . . ." The answers were classified into forty-one categories. Those chosen by a significant percentage of wives are shown in Table 4.
It will be noted that the sources of frustration are more diversified than the sources of satisfaction. The theme of dissatisfaction appears to lie in the areas of conflict between expectations, division of home, church, and work responsibilities, and her personal feelings of inadequacy for the task.
Some typical comments were:
"Criticism of my husband! When I see a pastor drive himself to near 'burnout' and then constantly be criticized over the most trivial matters, it's hard to keep quiet."
"Having to move so often (4 district changes and 6 house moves in 3 years)."
"The expectations and demands others place upon you when you are a minister's wife."
"Not being able to have a close friend I can relate to."
"My husband's finding time to spend with his family and taking a day off to be with his family."
Whom to go to for counsel
The third open-ended question was this: "If my husband and I were confronted with a personal or family problem we would turn for counsel to . . ." There were twelve responses to this question, as listed in Table 5.
The majority (34 percent) trusted no other human being and stated they would lean only upon God. It is interesting to note that when pastor-husbands were asked the same question, almost the same number (35 percent) agreed that God was the only one they could trust.
It should also be noted that of all the free-response questions, this one was most often left blank, suggesting the possibility that the responses "No one" and "Don't know/not sure" may well have been higher.
That 12 percent felt they could go to conference administrators should bring courage to the growing awareness that administrators can be friends and confidants, too.
The fact that 74 percent of the wives agreed that it is important for the conference to provide a professional counselor who has no adminstrative ties indicates a growing need in this area that might well strengthen the morale of pastors' wives.
Level of educational attainment
Some interesting statistics showed up in the area of the grade level of education completed by pastors' wives (Table 6). One wife had done postgraduate work, and one wife had completed only the eighth grade. For 31 percent of the wives, a four-year college degree had been attained, but more than half (52 percent) had completed two years of college or less. Only 7 percent had Masters degrees.
Since a growing number of pastor-husbands hold the Master of Divinity degree, with increased emphasis being placed on the Doctor of Ministry degree, the gulf between the educational level of the husband and the wife widens. This could signal a potential area for marital discord.
Wives have shown a feeling of inadequacy as pastors' wives in various items of the questionnaire. Intellectual inadequacy is no exception. One wife wrote, "I do not feel quite able to be a pastor's wife intellectually."
With the move by our denominational leaders for providing continuing educational opportunities for pastors, it will be well to remember that 89 percent of the wives affirmed this need also. Perhaps by offering continuing education opportunities for pastors' wives, the level of their self-confidence could be raised. This, too, would strengthen morale.
Conclusions
Several conclusions may be drawn from the findings that have been presented thus far:
1. Many women are basically happy with their role of pastor's wife. In fact, a large majority enjoy the vocation and believe that they are successful in it.
2. In addition to these positive feelings, there are conflicts. A majority have serious concerns. Two thirds experience feelings of loneliness and isolation in the ministry, 58 percent are bothered by having the needs of others take priority over the needs of the family, 63 percent are worried about being an adequate minister's wife, 68 percent are worried about finances, and 72 percent are concerned about having sufficient family time.
3. Other concerns are reported by a minority—sometimes a small minority— of the wives. Yet when these percentages are applied to all ministers' wives, they represent many troubled wives. While no official record is kept on pastoral wives, it may be estimated that approximately 2,500 are serving in the North American Division. This means that the 21 percent who sometimes wish their husbands would leave the pastoral ministry may represent 525 wives. And the 37 percent who feel guilty about taking time away from the husband's work for their personal needs equal 925 women. Even the relatively low 3 percent whose husbands do not always confer with them before making a major decision and the 6 percent who do not have an open relationship with their spouses translate into 75 and 150 wives, respectively.
For the larger percentages the situation is even worse. Perhaps 1,575 women are worried about adequately filling the role of minister's wife, 1,675 sometimes feel a loneliness and isolation in the ministry, and 1,800 are worried about having sufficient family time.
4. The most important joys that these wives experienced in sharing their husbands' ministry revolved around friend ships with people, seeing persons come to Christ, nurturing the spiritual and personal growth of others, and working as team members with their husbands.
5. The most real problems and conflicts for pastors' wives concern the expectations that various groups (members, conference, community, husband) hold for them, the feeling of being second fiddle to the husbands' profession, personal feelings of inadequacy in the role, frequent moves, absence of close relationships, and general time and financial pressures. If a happy wife equals a happy minister, leadership must develop a support system for pastors' wives and restructure the pastoral profession in such a way as to eliminate or reduce many of these areas of conflict. A climate must be developed in which pastors can build strong home lives as a vital part of their ministry.
6. It is interesting to note that, while the husbands' frustrations (as reported in the matching study of pastoral morale) were all related to their professional duties, the wives' problems and conflicts were all connected with personal and family matters. This is in harmony with many studies that reveal that men gain their identity from work-related roles, while women gain theirs from family-related roles. Herein lie the roots of the problems. Pastors may be so busy with their duties and receive so much positive reinforcement for their high-profile performances that it is easy to forget about home. The wife, concentrating on the home and family, keenly feels the neglect and loneliness. The stage is set for a breakdown in communications and a rift in relationships.
7. The majority of pastors' wives (or their husbands) do not know where to turn for counsel when confronted with a serious personal or family problem. Most agree that the provision of trusted professional Christian counselors with no ties to administration would be a welcome addition to the pastoral support system. Conference administrators may find this investment in ministerial mental health to be one of the wisest uses of their financial resources.
8. Pastors' wives are not sufficiently trained for their role. Less than 8 percent have done graduate work, and less than 61 percent have completed four years of college. Today the Master of Divinity degree is the standard preparation for the pastorate, and an increasing number of ministers are earning the Doctor of Ministry degree. While the amount of formal education never should be used as a standard of measurement for predicting success or failure as a pastor's wife, the gap between the spouses' educational attainments does present two major areas of concern: 1. The pastor's wife is asked to meet some of the same demands upon her time and leadership as her minister-husband, who has been given resources and training through education. 2. Widening the gap between the training of the pastor and his wife increases the possibility for communication problems in the home. It will take a sensitive husband to compensate for this. It is mandatory for him to affirm publically the area in which she chooses to exercise her particular gifts. This will give freedom to her to be herself and to serve in the unique place she has in the marriage-ministry relationship. A possible solution for some women to the problems that surfaced in this research is to lift the vocation of pastor's wife to a true professional standing. This will call for a new emphasis on the preservice and in-service education of the wife for her vital role of ministry. Of course, each woman is, an individual; and ho wife should be forced to take this training and fill this role or be made to feel guilty if she chooses not to. Nevertheless the opportunity should be provided.
Another possible solution is to create a team ministry option for pastoral couples. There are many ways in which a couple can be more effective than a single person in accomplishing the mission of the church. Wives who feel themselves an integral part of the team are not as likely to be isolated, lonely, and frustrated. Conferences should seek ways to encourage and train for team ministry.
9. Our denominational structure calls for administrators to be away from home days or even months at a time. The sacrifice they make of time away from family is held up before pastors and their wives as honorable and acceptable. It may be time to take a careful look at this trend in light of the role model this presents to others. It is time to affirm the father-husband- priest-of-the-household role of the pastor and recognize his need for a balanced life.
The nurturing of pastoral family relationships is not a diversion from the work of ministry, a sort of necessary evil; it is fundamental. Unless the pastoral couple are in harmony, working together with a sense of joy and mission, the pastor will soon become discouraged, and the effectiveness of his ministry will decline or cease. Even more, the pastoral couple present a model to the church of what God intends every home to be—a caring environment in which each member loves, supports, and encourages the others on their journey to the kingdom of heaven.
