In His ministry for souls, what Jesus was counted as much as what He said. Decisions were made not only because of the facts He presented but because of the man He was. Jesus won hearts through relation ship as well as through truth. He identified with people. Persuasion involves both logos (knowledge) and ethos (confidence) regarding the truthsayer.
But feelings may be both positive and negative. And negative feelings can lead to a negative decision. Thus, not only message and messenger but method is critical in getting a positive decision. How we speak truth affects results.
So does when we speak truth. A Messianic passage brings the above elements together: "The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how [method] to speak a word [what is said] in season [when it should be said] to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned. The Lord God hath opened mine ear, and I was not rebellious, neither turned away back [the kind of person Jesus was]" (Isa. 50:4, 5).
Some of us haven't learned.
"I'm so excited with the truth," a convert told me, "that I've shared your tape on the mark of the beast with my relatives."
The wrong message. The wrong time. The wrong way. And certainly a setback in relationship.
Speak "the truth in love," advised Paul (Eph. 4:15). That's God's way—to present beautiful truth through loving people. Decisions are rooted in interpersonal relationships. The more confidence one has in the messenger, the deeper the relationship established, the more likely is a positive decision.
Let's look at three aspects of leading people to decision: The ABCs of the process, the role of the will, and the language of the appeal.
The ABCs of decision
Let's follow Jesus and observe Him using the ABCs of decision: acceptance, belief, and confidence.
1. Acceptance. It quickly becomes evident that Jesus accepted men and women where they were. He ministered to them in the condition in which He found them. He did not work for change before establishing a relationship of confidence. We see Him meet a woman of Samaria at a well. He establishes confidence by asking a favor when His countrymen would not even speak to a Samaritan. At the Pool of Bethesda Jesus meets a physical need before seeking a decision. With Nicodemus He consents to a private night meeting to preserve the privacy of the seeking Pharisee.
Reflect on the contacts, and you'll likely isolate the ingredients of acceptance—agreement and approval.
(a) Agreement. In seeking decisions, first seek areas of agreement, however small. A small agreement will open the way to bigger agreements. To seek decision by saying "I disagree with you" is to fracture a relationship before it has had time to "set"; and broken relationships lead to negative decisions.
(b) Approval. When onlookers condemned Mary for "wasting" expensive ointment on His feet, Jesus praised her for her kindness. Her act would be remembered through the centuries, He told her, as a symbol of loving kindness. Jesus complimented the centurion by declaring, "I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel" (Matt. 8:10). "O woman, great is thy faith," He said admiringly to the Canaanite woman (Matt. 15:28). Repeatedly, Jesus demonstrated acceptance by agreeing when He could, by approving, by complimenting, and by appreciating.
Jesus even found ways to express approval of those who had reservations about Him. Speaking of a scribe who had been questioning Jesus, Mark 12:34 states, "When Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God." Jesus looked for a good point. He demonstrated approval. Don't be repelled by negative attitudes or actions on the part of others. They shouldn't have to approve of you before you can approve of them. Don't appear shocked. Demonstrate genuine acceptance. Attempt to agree with them on every point possible. Look for something that you can reveal appreciation for, and then, as you can, by little confidences, by little compliments, attempt to build a bond of unity. Re member, acceptance is manifested by agreement and by approval.
To demonstrate acceptance of others, get them talking about themselves, their home, the town they live in, their work, their family, their business, their ideas, their accomplishments, their back ground, their hobbies, their sports.
Jesus accepted men and women where they were and began to build bonds of friendship that later would be bridges over which the truth could march into their minds.
2. Belief. This is the second key principle in our ABCs. Nobody is won by a person he or she doesn't like. No body likes a person who will not extend full acceptance. Believe that the individual sincerely desires truth and wants to follow Jesus. Believe he/she is winnable to Christ and His cause. Believe that this person is honest and desires to make the right decision. If you believe that people are hard-hearted, unresponsive, and unreachable, your own attitude will be reflected in the decisions they make.
In a study done by Andrews University of more than 8,300 Seventh-day Adventists from 320 churches in North America, one of the major findings was the fact that those churches and individuals who believed that men and women were winnable were growing the fastest. The survey stated: "Some have called it the self-fulfilling prophecy syndrome, but simply put, there is a strong correlation between a pastor's belief that his church can grow and the degree to which it does grow. Those pastors, and we might add as well, church members, who rated their church's growth potential highest were experiencing rapid growth in membership.'"1
This belief principle also is illustrated by Jesus. He saw people not only as they were, but as they could become. When He looked at the woman at the well He saw, not an outcast coming from the lower level of society, but a woman who had been hurt and bruised, and He reached out in love. Jesus saw Peter not as a rough and outspoken fisherman, but as a mighty preacher. He saw Joseph of Arimathea, not as a sophisticated, wealthy businessman, but as one who needed to find the Pearl of Great Price. Jesus saw the centurion, not as a hardened military man, but as a master who loved his servant. He saw Nicodemus, not as a leader of the opposition filled with religious bigotry, but as one who desperately needed to have a new heart. Jesus saw the best in people. He believed in them, and He confidently expected them to make a decision to follow Him.
3. Confidence. In leading men and women to decisions for the Master it is imperative that we act confidently, as if it were impossible for us to fail or be disappointed. Expect the person to make the decision. People often act the way we expect them to. Have you ever noticed that when you smile at someone that person nearly always smiles back? Friendliness begets friendliness, trust begets trust, confidence begets confidence. Christ believed in people and confidently anticipated a positive response. He brought out the best in them. Thus they rose to His expectations.
The role of the will in decision-making
A mother took her children to the ice cream store, and the ice-cream vendor asked, "Chocolate or vanilla?"
"Why don't you have more flavors?" the mother replied. "I get so tired of these two."
"Lady," the vendor sighed, "if you knew how much time it takes them to make up their minds between chocolate and vanilla, you'd never add another flavor."
Some decisions in life are relatively unimportant, like a decision between chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Yet the power of choice is a God-given faculty. It is absolutely essential that the soul winners understand the place of the will in decision-making. The will is the master key of decision.
The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth weighs approximately 85,000 tons, yet is guided by a rudder weighing only 65 tons. The rudder, though small com pared to the rest of the ship, still controls its direction. Human will is the rudder of life. It is not the soul winner's prerogative to manipulate the will or to force it. Yet we will not succeed in soul winning until we understand how the Holy Spirit relates to it.
"What you need to understand is the true force of the will. This is the governing power in the nature of man, the power of decision, or of choice. Every thing depends on the right action of the will." 2 "Through the right exercise of the will, an entire change may be made in the life. By yielding up the will to Christ, we ally ourselves with divine power. We receive strength from above to hold us steadfast. A pure and noble life, a life of victory over appetite and lust, is possible to everyone who will unite his weak, wavering human will to the omnipotent, unwavering will of God." 3
Every decision that is made, whether it be to buy a vacuum cleaner or to accept Bible truth and become a Seventh-day Adventist Christian, involves four basic levels.
1. Information. Right decisions won't be made in life unless an individual has right information. In deciding to buy a new car, for example, we shop around, gathering information. We look at the advantages or disadvantages of purchasing various models, comparing facts on performance, gas mileage, comfort, and affordability. The information level enables us to gather the facts we need to move toward a more intelligent decision.
To call for decision before there's adequate information creates barriers in the human mind, and at that point the will makes a negative rather than a positive decision. Therefore, in leading men and women to decision, it is necessary to ask the following questions: Do they have adequate information to make the decision? Are they intelligently informed regarding the decision I am asking them to make?
2. Conviction. After gathering information, an individual begins to sense what seems to be the right decision for his or her particular situation—what he or she really ought to do. In a decision for Christ, an individual's conscience suggests, "This is what I believe God wants me to do. This is what I believe is God's will. If I fail to take the appropriate action, I will be outside of God's will."
When a person is under conviction, on the positive side there is the deepening sense of Tightness by taking the appropriate action, and on the negative side there is the deepening sense of guilt by not taking that action. On the other hand, decisions usually are not made just because a person is convicted to do something. Some may have a conscience so sensitive that if they are prompted by a sense of right-doing and plagued by a sense of wrongdoing, the right decision will be made. Yet the next level of decision is crucial.
3. Desire. In the desire step, one sorts out one's own feelings, identifying not merely what one ought to do, but what one wants to do. "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink." But salt can.
Place a block of salt next to the water, let the horse lick the salt, and he soon will become so thirsty he will want to drink. Salt awakens desire.
As soul winners we are the salt of the earth. It is necessary to present the gospel to people in such a way that not only will they have adequate information and be convicted that they ought to do some thing, but they will want to do it. Throughout the Bible God Himself presents the joy of heaven, the terrors of hell, and His own love as powerful motives to heighten our desire.
4. Action. When conviction and desire are heightened, an individual acts. Thus the key to the final action is to go beyond information to conviction and desire. J. L. Shuler puts it this way: "Since knowledge, conviction, and desire lead to decision, the sermons, the Bible studies, and the personal talks should be an artful interweaving of the factors of desire and conviction in respect to the given subject. This is needed for bringing about the requisite interplay of knowledge, conviction, and desire for acceptance, decision, and action. As we analyze certain texts we discover that some are especially designed to bring knowledge, others to bring conviction, and still others to bring desire. And often the same text has in it the elements of all three. We need to focus on these texts that will implant conviction and at the same time arouse desire for accepting and following God's great principles as we present them in our Bible studies to the student." 4
The language of appeal
Successful soul winners are sensitive to the use of language. Would-be soul winners rely on glib religious phrases and cliches without considering the different personalities with which they are working. Remember, each listener has a unique perceptual set. Use it to win that person. Ignore it, and you may lose him or her.
1. Three perceptual sets. Students of human behavior place people in one of three classes: visual, audio, and kinesthetic. Visuals solve problems by seeing the solution in the form of pictures in the mind. Since their analytical thought processes are visual, such people respond well to slides or charts and diagrams. They are the kind of people who, when thinking about a vacation, see them selves on the beach relaxing, picturing the strong glint of sun on sand and water.
Audios, on the other hand, structure their thought patterns around the mode of sound. The husband hears his wife talking to him, the boss shouting at him, the children's voices as they play. Audios do not picture themselves sitting in the shade or lounging on the beach when they think of vacation, but they hear the sweet music coming over the radio, the sound of surf pounding on rocks. Their predominant sense is audio—hearing.
Kinesthetics center their thought pat terns largely around the mode of touch. They relate well to back patting, em bracing, solid handshakes. Thinking of their vacations, they feel the warm sun soaking into their bodies, the exhilaration of the cold plunge into the ocean.
Naturally, people do not fall solely and exclusively into one of these categories. Yet each of us does have a strong tendency to operate primarily within the realm of one of the three sense impressions. The implications for soul winning are obvious. When dealing with an individual who sees things, my most effective approach will not be to plug in a tape recorder, but to set up a slide projector.
2. Jesus reached all three sets. Perfectly tuned in to the personalities of those around Him, Jesus demonstrated His ability to reach different people by different means.
When conversing with those who were visually oriented, He painted pictures in rich hues to illustrate His mes sage. He talked of the shepherd going out to find his sheep, the man hunting for the treasure hidden in a field, the prodigal's father running to his son with tear-stained cheeks. As they listened, people saw the message of the gospel in panoramic scenes before them and felt the answering chord of response.
When speaking to Nicodemus, Jesus used an audio appeal. Knowing his back ground as a Pharisee, his custom of listening to the reading of the law, Jesus said, "The wind blows where it listeth, but you cannot see it. You hear the sound thereof." Jesus knew that as surely as Nicodemus could hear the sound of leaves rustling before a storm, hear it whistling around the corners of his house, he could hear the calling of the Holy Spirit to his heart.
The woman at the well, having gone through many husbands, still did not feel the touch of love. Jesus knew just how to reach the core of her being. Appealing to her on the basis of feeling, He said simply, "Give Me to drink." She knew the feeling of thirst, this woman who had trodden dusty roads in a desert land and lowered earthen pots into the waiting cool of darkness. So Jesus used the kinesthetic sense impression to bring to her the strength and vitality of the gospel. "You have a thirst. If you drink the water I'll give you, you'll never thirst again."
Similarly, we should use all three approaches, for all three types of people are sure to be in the audience. It's wise to begin by appealing to all three sense impressions, then eventually focus on that which appears to be the predominant mode of that person's perception.
When speaking with visually oriented individuals, I emphasize my mes sage in pictorial scenes: "Picture Jesus dying on the cross for you, with nails through His hands and blood trickling down His cheeks. As you look into His eyes, is there anything more important than surrendering your whole life to Him?"
For the audio, I tie the message into the sense of sound: "Don't you hear Christ calling you today?" "Think of that glorious angel chorus and that loud, clear trumpet fanfare! What a joy those sounds will bring to your heart." "Listen to the voice of Jesus as He says, 'Well done, My good and faithful servant.' "
When speaking with a kinesthetic person, my conversation might go some thing like this: "As you surrender your life to Jesus you will receive that healing peace, that inner contentment that all humanity longs for. The feeling of peace that you desired for so long will be yours."
Jesus has created each individual to be different. People have grown out of an environment uniquely their own. This variety of backgrounds necessitates a variety of approaches. You must step out of yourself and enter into the needs and longings of others—identify with their perceptual patterns. Allow God to tune you in to the perceptions of others. Watch results multiply.
