Pastoral counseling with a professional touch

Pastoral counseling with a professional touch

Pastoral counseling is more than spiritual advice.

Gregory Matthews is a retired U.S. Army chaplain.

Roberta1 looked at the handbill for the second time. She was not a churchgoer. She was living away from home, enlisted in the U.S. Army. Something in the handbill announcing an evangelistic series grabbed her attention. The meetings addressed an incomplete area of her life and she went back for more. The sponsoring church welcomed her warmly. Each week she met with Deacon James for in-depth studies in Christian living, often sharing meals with the deacon and his wife.

When her Army enlistment was over, Roberta returned to civilian life. Soon she joined the church. Shortly after her baptism, however, a tragedy occurred. Roberta's relationship with Deacon James left her pregnant. Con fused about what to do, she confided in Mary, a member of the evangelistic team, someone she thought she could trust.

But soon the news was out. The church board was discussing discipline. An unsigned letter warned church families not to allow Roberta into their homes as part of a husband protective measure.

Devastated, Roberta left the community, obtained an abortion, and reenlisted in the Army. That's when she came to see me. She wanted more than what psychology or mental hygiene could offer. Her questions included God, church, and people. My responsibility to Roberta was more than that of a pastor. Twice she trusted, and twice she was betrayed: first, by a deacon to whom she looked for spiritual guidance; second, by Mary, to whom she unburdened her heart. Roberta felt condemned and rejected. She and I needed to talk about God and people who act in God's place. We needed to talk about sin, guilt, and forgiveness. Roberta needed to understood human nature and God's healing grace.

These are some issues that concern pastoral counseling.

More than advice

What is pastoral counseling? It is more than giving advice on spiritual matters or explaining Scripture. Pastoral counseling fuses theological perspectives with counseling insights. Theology tells us how God interacts in human life, and social sciences tell us about human behavior and needs. Pastoral counseling brings both together to serve those who are hurting. Without a theological perspective, counseling ceases to be pastoral. With out an understanding of human nature and behavior, counseling is of little value.

Take for example, guilt, a universal human condition. As pastoral counselors, we have something more to offer guilt-ridden people than professional counselors do. We can speak of God's forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Because of this a trained pastoral counselor can help people like Roberta cope with guilt.

Colonel Dedicated had served the United States Army for almost 30 years, holding important positions. But now it all seemed over. Several evaluation boards failed to recommend him for promotion. He considered his next assignment a dead end and retired in anger. The colonel's problem was essentially a spiritual struggle. In a situation like this, secular psychology can help somewhat, but a counselor sensitive to life in all its dimensions involving God, self, and others has more to give.

A spiritual perspective of life, however, is not always enough to help troubled people. Rosa came from a dysfunctional family. As a young child, she saw her mother become an invalid confined to her room. Rosa's father belonged to an evangelical church and was a leader in a local congregation. His relationship with Rosa was negative and aggressive. Often he blamed Rosa's sins for his wife's illness. He brought girlfriends home, and also sexually abused Rosa. During times of financial stress, Rosa had to drop out of parochial school, while her brother received the best possible education.

Eventually Rosa left home. She stopped going to church and adapted a lifestyle that left her a very troubled person. Now something was calling her back to her roots. Occasionally she ventured into church, seeking help for change. The pastor counseled her to forgive her father and encouraged her to pray for strength.

The pastor was right. Rosa did need to forgive her father, but that could come later. Right now she needed help with the forces that drove her into a destructive lifestyle. She sought help from a mental health clinic, where a professional team suggested that a restoration of her church relationship would be healthy. As a member of the clergy, I joined her treatment team.

More than prayer needed

I take seriously the church's call to a changed lifestyle, but one who calls for change must also proclaim the power to change. A troubled Rosa needed more than prayer. Using the knowledge of human nature that God has given is not a denial of faith. Rosa needed more help than the pastor alone could give.

For those who have internalized religious values, religion is indeed a positive factor in mental health and social functioning.2 But such is not the case with those whose religious values are external, and it is these people who need a pastoral counselor. The pastoral counselor can help them to recognize that destructive behavior is often symptomatic of a deeper spiritual crisis. Such a recognition mandates a right relationship with God before any attempt to change behavior.

People commonly express emotional issues in terms of significant persons, objects, and institutions in their lives. These may include God, the church, parents, society at large, school, and the work environment. At the death of a child, for example, I have had mothers strike me with their closed fists and cry out against God. I have never tried to defend God. The issue was not about God. It was about loss and grief. This is where I at tempted to focus their energy.

I have seen people in open rebel lion against the standards of their church. Usually the problem is not a religious struggle but a failure to come to terms with authority issues. To deal with such people on a religious plane is often shortsighted and would likely play into their conflicts. To be helpful, the pastoral counselor should help them resolve the underlying authority issue. With that done, their straggle with God and the church will likely be settled.

Destructive behavior does not always stem from personal sin. Other factors may be involved. Some mental illnesses, for example, are associated with abnormal brain circuitry, genetic abnormalities, or changes in neural chemistry. To suggest to such people that prayer and theology are the final answers to their situation may not help at all. The underlying causes cry out for attention. Hence clergy involved in counseling must have adequate training in the understanding of the human condition and be able to relate appropriately to people with problems.

Consider Jane and John. They had dedicated their lives to God and be came leaders in their church. They raised a good family. Then came a traumatic divorce. Untrue charges and countercharges were exchanged. The court hearings dragged on for months. The children suffered. Counseling revealed that both Jane's and John's parents had under gone a similar experience. They too were church leaders. Their marriages also ended in divorce, involving scurrilous charges.

Social sciences tell us that much of our destructive behavior is learned. Family systems " theory suggests that there is often a third and fourth generational pattern of maladaptive conduct. Jane and John needed to learn new ways of living and relating. They needed pastoral counselors who understood their problems. Unfortunately, such counseling was not avail able to them in time.

No pastoral counselor will be able to provide all needed help. Referrals will need to be made to other professionals. This does not mean that the pastor has abandoned the person. The pastor, chaplain, and other counselors working together in a cooperative relationship enhance the healing process.

 

1 Names cited in this article are fictitious.

2 See I. R. Payne et. al., "Review of Religion
and Mental Health: Prevention and the
Enhancement of Psychosocial Functioning,"
Psychologists Interested in Religious Issues
Newsletter 16, No. 3.

 

Gregory Matthews is a retired U.S. Army chaplain.

January 1995

Download PDF
Ministry Cover

More Articles In This Issue

When you're undereducated

Coping with undereducation and making the best of ministerial opportunities.

Dreaming the impossible

Developing spiritual life in young people

Salvation: God's greatest work

A classic sermon of the great nineteenth century preacher

Restoring the pastoral dream

Help from Moses for your midlife crisis

The Bible and the Middle East

The dangers and opportunities in preaching on Israel's role in biblical prophecy

Fasting with balance

A look at the purpose and the history of fasting

A survivor's litany

A survivor's litany

Minister need people too

Pastors are not emotional islands.

View All Issue Contents

Digital delivery

If you're a print subscriber, we'll complement your print copy of Ministry with an electronic version.

Sign up
Advertisement - RevivalandReformation 300x250

Recent issues

See All