Restoring the pastoral dream

Help from Moses for your midlife crisis

Cameron Johnston is pastor of a Seventh-day Adventist congregation in Newfoundland.

Ministerial dreams are vulnerable to wear and tear. When they are worn out, ministry degenerates into an endless routine. God seems distant. Activities once fulfilling become empty, and the pastor is left with Solomon's lament: " 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless' " (Eccl. 1:2, NIV).

 

Under the unrelenting pressure of modern ministry, even inspired dreams can turn to ashes, and a once firm faith in Christ can waver. How can pastors maintain the enthusiasm and fervor of their early ministry?

 

Many serious adjustments are required throughout anyone's lifetime, but those needed in the early 40s are among the most treacherous and perplexing. Even for pastors, the forces of change can create a midlife crisis. In fact, one's sense of a divine call to ministry combined with unrealistic and sometimes false expectations tend to make midlife adjustments even more challenging.

Some pastors by their 40s have already accomplished their major life work, while others haven't really begun to fulfill their potential. The majority are somewhere in between. Whatever the case may be, entering middle years confronts us all with the shortness of life; compounded with that may be the pain of failing to fulfill life's ambitions.

In the idealistic years of youth, many pastors set high goals and objectives in response to God's call and the urgency of earth's final hours. They launch their ministry with high expectations and dreams of success. Believing that with God they can conquer all obstacles, they pour all their energy into what they believe He wants them to do. By age 40, how ever, with just enough life lived to sense reality, with enough understanding of human nature to be of some help, and with a self-confidence that is dangerous, they find it easy to do something foolish. Then follows disillusionment, frustration, and even cynicism.

Moses had such an experience. Knowing how he survived a major midlife transition helps us adjust our own ministry to harmonize with God's plan for us.

Moses at midlife

Few of us have the opportunities, talents, and destiny that belonged to Moses. Suddenly at the age of 40, every thing fell apart. Consider this man gifted and affirmed as a leader of destiny by his parents (both natural and adopted), teachers, and peers, and yes, even by God. He stood without equal as a historian, poet, philosopher, general of armies, and legislator. Moreover, he had the moral strength to choose God rather than the riches and fame of the world. Then while seemingly on the verge of fulfilling his destiny, life unraveled.

You know what happened. Moses' first attempt at fulfilling his God-appointed mission backfired. With career and life itself in shambles, he fled into the desert. It was a major adjustment to find a new home with Jethro in Midian and settle into a dramatically different family and work environment. Moses' first few years on the ranch must have severely tested his faith in God's providence. Eventually he accepted his new role and surrendered his former career goals. Never, however, did he give up on God's people in Egypt. No doubt he prayed that God would find someone else to do the work he had failed to accomplish.

 

So Moses resigned himself to his new circumstances. Caring for the sheep allowed him much time for thoughtful reflection and heavenly communion. A special relationship developed with God, who Himself testified of Moses, "With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord" (Num. 12:8, NIV).

 

As the years rolled on, Moses learned that relationship not activity and accomplishment is the heart of a productive and fruitful life. No longer did he feel the need to excel in human affairs. All his needs, desires, and joys were met in God. This freed him from the artificial pressures imposed by a restless society. At that point, God could really use him.

Learning what Moses did

All pastors and church leaders can enjoy an intimate trust relationship with the Lord of Israel. God does not need more activity from us; He wants quality time, quality relationship.

Most of us already know that. Yet because activity is our natural impulse and priority, we too often sacrifice our relationship with God. We fail to cherish and trust Him. And so, a crisis occurs in pastoral ministry after 15 or 20 years that is similar to Moses' situation in Egypt.

A vivid experience from my early ministry comes to mind. During an evangelistic series, I was assigned to visit with a minister in his early 40s one of the shining stars of the conference. Although a talented and dedicated man, somehow over the 20 years of his ministry he had become deeply cynical. I found myself both inspired and troubled by our time together inspired by his experience and expertise but troubled by his attitude. My dismay deepened when a foolish mistake later forced him out of the ministry.

 

Years later I came to understand that this gifted pastor was dealing with mid-career adjustments that I as a young worker yet knew nothing about. Now after nearly two decades in the daily grind of ministry, coping with some hard knocks, recovering from near burnout with its disillusionment and cynicism, I can under stand why some pastors stumble along the way. They first succumb to activity without end, unlimited expectations from family, church, and community, complicated by semi-Christian views of righteousness that result in a natural dependence on self. Given the right circumstances, the result is frustration, disillusionment, cynicism, and ultimately the inability to minister.

 

 

So much for false and unrealistic human expectations. What does God expect from us?" "To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humble with your God" (Micah 6:8, NIV). Why is it so hard for pastors to walk humbly with God and meet His expectations, even when we get paid to do it? Perhaps it's a lack of appreciation for God Him self, and the substitution of activity and accomplishment for relationship. After all, it is easier to do spiritual things than to be a spiritual person.

 

Which brings us back to Moses, who learned in the wilderness that life's greatest reward is God Himself. Spiritual activity has its vital place, but only after quality time with the Master. Moses might have become cynical in the wilderness with the sheep, but his relationship with the Shepherd restored his broken minis try and propelled it beyond his fond est expectations.

God can do the same for us today.


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Cameron Johnston is pastor of a Seventh-day Adventist congregation in Newfoundland.

January 1995

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