Are you an introvert or an extrovert? You are an introvert if you tend to consume energy as you interact with people. You are an extrovert if you gain energy.
In the general population, about 25 percent are introverts. However, among clergy the figure jumps to 40 percent significantly higher. Generally speaking, introverts live in a world in which extroversion is more socially desirable and rewarded. This is true in the parish as well. Thus it can be challenging for an introverted pastor to serve in a role that favors extroverted behavior. Yet it is possible for an introverted pastor to preach, teach, and lead quite effectively in congregations that prefer the extroverted. However, these extroverted behaviors will use the introvert's energy.
This energy must be restored with appropriately managed quiet and interior time for such a pastor. Unfortunately, such time is often in short supply. Worse, introverted clerics might be trying so hard to behave like good "people-centered" pastors that they don't recognize their need to recharge their batteries. Their energy is used without adequate replacement, until the introverted pastor reaches the point of emotional depletion and even burnout.
How do such pastors get relief? Where do they find means to re-energize themselves? Among several possibilities, networking is a significant avenue of help.
Networking
Networking is making friends for your ministry without being obnoxious. It is something that I as an introvert do not naturally prefer to do. However, in my work it is important that people know about the organization that I serve. Making my organization visible and helping people know that it can be of service to them is critically important.
I serve as the director of a parachurch ministry called Kettering Clergy Care Center. It needs to be known to the people it seeks to serve. It needs to be known to leaders who can direct other people to it for services.
Networking is an important part of my job. Pastoring a church has some differences from my ministry, but I think most of the same essentials for visibility are similar to those of the parish pastor, denominational executive, or staff person.
Seven rules for networking
To succeed in ministerial networking, I found the following seven rules helpful:
1. Location, location, location. I borrowed this from my real estate friends. They call it the "three" rules of real estate. It means that whatever you are, in whatever situation you find yourself, you can be networking and making friends for your ministry. This will not automatically occur to an introvert. It might even be frightening to think that everywhere you go you might be "on stage." Don't panic; you really don't have to be "on" every single moment. But it does mean you need to at least look at every life situation to see if there is a friend that you can make on behalf of your ministry for Jesus. Some times it is as simple as just being kind to people and being willing to let them know something about yourself and your ministry. Don't make this a big deal. Just do it.
2. Let others help you look for opportunities. Tell your friends and colleagues that you need them. Ask them to keep you in formed of other people and situations where you can network about your ministry.
3. Listen, tell, listen. This is the way introverts have conversations. Extroverts tell, listen, tell. Don't feel you have to be constantly talking when you're doing extroverted style networking. You can do it the more comfortable introvert way. Go with your strength. Be a good listener. Hear what others are eager to tell you about themselves. Ask questions. Encourage them to talk. They will love you for it. After all, there are a majority of extroverts out there all competing for airtime. The secret is to know when it's time to claim some time of your own. This comes when you have listened well and long enough. Be prepared and willing to tell the other person what your passion in ministry is all about. You might even outline it in writing and actually practice saying it out loud. This will help make you more confident in what you say. It will also put your conversation partners at ease and attract their interest to what you are saying. After telling, you can go back to listening and ask them what they think about what you have just said. This kind of guided listening will help them to lock on to and remember what you have communicated to them.
4. Avoid comparing yourself to other personalities. Introverts often compare themselves unfavorably with extroverts when it comes to interacting with people. Extroverts take to people naturally. They interact with people easily. However, as introverts, we risk being phony if we attempt to force ourselves into a different mold. God gave you the unique combination of personality characteristics that you have. Affirm your strengths and work within them. When you have to utilize non-preferred behaviors, recognize that it will require more energy and effort on your part. Allow sufficient recovery time to re-energize after your more intense, people-focused activities.
5. Have the right tools and use them. This is about communication mechanisms such as business cards, ministry brochures, and letterheads. In addition, one-page and two-page program descriptions, even video presentations that tell your story, can help you convey to others the important things to which you are dedicated. Not only will such tools tell your story when you are not physically present, but you might even feel more confident in your ability to write down what you wish to say than the more extemporaneous give-and-take of face-to-face conversation seems to allow.
6. Follow up. After the conclusion of a networking experience, follow up with the people who are important in a given situation. Letters, phone calls, additions of names to your organization's newsletter mailing list, all help people to keep in mind the important things for which your ministry stands.
7. Manage your energy. Be a good steward of the resources God has given you. Again, respect your need for time alone. After a demanding period of making friends for your ministry through networking, allow quiet time for re-energizing. This doesn't mean you isolate yourself. But you may want to schedule work that can be done with few interruptions. Don't push yourself to demand people interactions be cause that's what you see extroverts doing. Don't run the risk of draining yourself.
Have a regular devotional life. Time to be alone with Christ is critical to the introvert's longevity in ministry. This not only draws you close to Jesus for spiritual direction but also restores your vitality and emotional energy. Don't let unfinished tasks mask your hunger for quiet time. Choose the "Mary" time of just being with Jesus as first priority. Doing this will enable you to care for those "Martha" activities.
