Balance in the budget

Implementing the practical and spiritual principles of money management in the pastorate.

I grew up in a home where money was limited. There were nine of us - my parents and seven children. Although Dad and Mom did their best to meet our needs, we never really had a sense of financial security.

We never went hungry, but I recall Mom's creative breakfasts and her lectures on the frugal use of bathroom tissue. I also remember not having any thing to wear my first day of junior high school and my mother resourcefully finding a white cotton blouse and hunter green skirt among the older sister castaways in our basement. I re call how she lovingly washed, starched, and ironed them for me. My mother also helped me secure a part time job at a local department store. She under stood my need to wear more than hand-me-downs. So, I learned to "handle" money early. I was 13 when I began that first job.

Maybe it was different for you. Your parents may have taken care of every thing. Perhaps money was not something you thought much about because it was there when you needed it and so you didn't feel the constant pinch of poverty.

Even though our early financial status may affect our later spending habits and attitudes, neither "plenty" nor "poverty" teaches us how to plan financially. How, then, can we learn to do this planning successfully? How can we find ways of putting bits of joyful celebration into our lives without having to "hock" our souls? We need to have balance in our personal fiscal dealings. We need to be our own best friends as we move toward a more secure future.

That nasty six letter word - budget

I don't know about you, but, especially in our early years of marriage, the mere mention of the word "budget" set off an alarm in me. I saw it as a negative restraint designed to tighten the strings already drawn too taut in what often felt like an over-ordered life. And so I avoided the word budget and what it called for.

When it came to a financial bud get we thought we had one. After I chose to quit work and take care of our new daughter, my husband Will and I agreed that I would manage our finances. I remember getting little ledgers that helped me keep records of our spending. On each monthly page I listed our expenses, our income, and, if we were fortunate that month, the record of a small remaining balance. But this was not really a budget.

"They hardly have anything to live on, and they just eat cereal!" was a comment one of my aunts circulated within the family. I laugh when I remember her perception of our vegetarianism. But now that we were on one income, some months were painfully tight, so Aunt Irene was at least partially correct. I remember having about $40 for food one month, after our bills had all been paid. That was about half of our no-frills food allowance. And so it was that we continued to live stringently from paycheck to paycheck for over a decade of marriage. As I look back at it now, we could have done more and felt less emotional strain, had we actually budgeted during the early years when we both worked.

Don't get me wrong. We did learn to handle our money more economically through those years. God blessed us with Will's pay increases, which kept pace with inflation, and we had excel lent medical coverage. Our parents were able to help us with an old Ford for me to drive and, later, a down payment for our first home.

I'm not disdaining our financial state so much as saying that our life then was not all it could have been had we understood what we know today about the value of having a full and effective budget something we learned to de sign and implement in 1983.

Looking through new glasses

In 1981, Will received a call to pastor in the Washington, D.C. area. At this time, since both our son and daughter were in school, I decided to find some part-time employment. One of the positions I had was at the world headquarters of our church. A highlight of my employment there was the availability of brief seminars offered for the enrichment of the employees. I attended one course that changed our financial life a seminar on family budgeting.

By this time I had gained the nerve to face not only the word but also the reality of having a "budget." I knew that even though I was still keeping my ledgers, something was missing. I am forever indebted to our seminar instructor. He showed us how a true budget is both an emotional and financial investment.

He stressed the need to eliminate credit card debt. We had a couple of credit cards, and it took us over a year to pay them down. Since that time, we have not charged anything on our cards that we could not pay for when the bill arrived. In that sense, we have made the credit card system work for us so that we can keep our money until the next due date.

Our seminar presenter talked about "rewards" in a budget and how vital they are. They create much of the balance a solid and successful budget needs. The class was given a "his and her" budget a plan where husband and wife each share in managing their budget categories, basically dividing them in half. This budget generated a friendly competition as to who was better at meeting the bud get for that month. But regardless of who "won," it still created a win-win situation. When the budget was met and we spent under the allotted amount, we re warded ourselves perhaps an evening out and, in some cases, a weekend away.

Percentages were suggested to give us a basic idea of how to divide our monthly income/s into budget categories (see sidebar). They served as a guideline for us, even though we couldn't always use the exact percent ages suggested.

We adapted the "his and her" bud get to fit our needs. We were both committed to the program, but I continued the actual bookkeeping. No matter who actually keeps the accounts in your family, it is vital that both husband and wife review the monthly budget so that you can work unitedly toward your goals. This sharing demonstrates mutual respect and doesn't leave one spouse carrying all the emotional weight and responsibility.

A crucial element

It is very important to note what could be described as the most important element of true budgeting: that of expanding all monthly budgetary categories into a yearly or long-term expression. In other words, each pay period (i.e., each month) we began to put aside a proportionate amount to ward such annual or long term expenses as auto insurance and auto repairs, so that when the insurance came due or when a repair was needed, we had the money to pay for it. We established small personal allowances and clothing accounts for each family member. Christmas and vacation funds, education and savings account categories are a few examples of the long-term, major expense funds we established.

I can't tell you what a blessing this was! Now the money was there to meet our needs as they arose. Yes, occasion ally a financial crisis came, but we found that we were much more able to meet it, especially after we had been on the program for a while and our budget pool increased. When this was established, we learned to look at our budget balances to determine what funds we had available rather than looking at our bank balance. We found that we could get a false sense of our financial status by simply looking at the bank balance. A real sense of security eventually developed in us as we saw how our monthly budget funds were there and working for us.

Along with the seminar, we also discovered another invaluable tool a software program for computer budgeting. It took me a while to work out all of the snags, but since learning the pro gram, I see it as a veritable long-term godsend. It took care of mathematical operations and allowed me to call up and print reports on our financial status. Checkbook balancing was beautifully simplified. One year, when we were audited by the Internal Revenue Service, I was able to promptly call up specific categories, such as contributions or Will's business and auto expenses, and print them out for the audit. I think these kinds of records impressed the agent, and our audit went smoothly and quickly.

A special reward we gave ourselves two years after we began our "true" bud get was a three-week trip to Europe with our children. We made so many wonderful memories, and I can honestly say we were able to save for that trip because of the new insights we had gained from the plan we were following.

As I view it today, I must say that the term "financial planning" is better than that terse little word, "budget." That is what a budget is financial planning over the short term, with the long term in mind.

The spiritual dimension

It can be quite revealing to look at our basic attitudes toward money and the emotional needs we feed by the use of our capital. "Balance in the Budget" purposely suggests that we have emotional as well as physical needs, and it is necessary for us to understand our needs and those of our partners, in order to help meet them and live rewardingly within our means.

Have you ever decided to put a moratorium on spending? Perhaps you are in debt or you have gone out of bounds in your spending for a couple of months. Now you know you must get things under control! What usually hap pens after a month or so of this well intentioned regulation? If you are like most, you break loose from it. You've been too rigid, and so you snap your carefully installed bands of constraint.

If you plan wisely, allowing appropriately for personal and emotional needs, this destructive pattern will lessen dramatically. With an adjusted attitude and with planning, you will come to live life with more contentment and less impulsive spending.

The apostle Paul demonstrates a Christian maturity I admire and stretch for: "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be con tent whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Phil. 4:11-13, NIV).

How can this be? How can Paul's reality be our reality? Generally I have a fairly even emotional response to the temptation to spend. I usually feel quite content with my situation. But some times I descend into a valley where I am more inclined to buy impulsively. I believe when we are in these valleys, we are experiencing some kind of lack or unfulfilled need, the source of which runs deeper than just the need we feel to spend. Something is creating a feeling of dissatisfaction and powerlessness. We think that the temporary "rush" of spending will give us a sense of satisfaction and power.

The reality is that we are not powerless. I know that nothing can separate me from God and all the truly good gifts that spring from such an unbelievable love, yet when I put everyday living first, I sometimes forget who it is that fills me and makes me content. I forget Paul's secret. Paul talks of us being "filled to the measure of all the fullness of God" (Eph. 3:19, NIV).

The truth is that we need never be afraid, even of financial dearth. This confidence can be our experience. Even if we were to lose it all, He would res cue us.

There is nothing wrong with our desire for that new car or those new furnishings. But when we are in a compulsive mode we maybe sure that the new couch is not the primary need. Prob ably our real need is to experience newness, beauty, or contentment.

We can look first at what we can actually do. Perhaps an inexpensive shampooing of the couch would perk it up. A good general scrubbing and shining of the room or my home makes me feel new. Then, it's time to sit down and determine when our home furniture budget will be ready for that new davenport. More often than not there is a simpler, less expensive way to meet our needs while planning for the long term. Amazingly, too much of even smaller items can deter us from our goal. The more we feel in charge of our lives, accepting our circumstances, the less compulsive we will tend to be.

Celebrate!

There are less expensive ways of putting the bits of joy into our lives that we may feel are lacking, and which we may therefore try to compensate for by overspending. Here are a few that have worked for us: Spend time together. As husbands and wives, we have deep legitimate needs for this. It's amazing what we're able to get by on when we get creative about showing our love.

We may want to go out to eat but know we can't afford it. Then we can make a date for dessert at a special restaurant and later take a quiet walk around the lake, or plan a picnic at a scenic spot, using a nice table setting and stemware or have a sandwich at a favorite deli or grab a blanket and go to the evening concert at the park.

Be resourceful and imaginative. You can't afford the florist? Buy flowers at the market! Some of my favorite bouquets have come from there. Read a good book together or view a special film. We can set aside 30 minutes at the end of the day for a warm drink around which we may share the joys and concerns of each other's day. And we must remember to go the "full menu" when we more than meet our monthly budget and celebrate one another by practicing the reward system we have created.

When all is said and done, we must make sure that we feast regularly on God's Word and His love for us. I know that it is when I'm doubting myself and am out of touch with the sources of love, first from God and then from those I value, that I am most compelled to spend impulsively. We need to know and feel that love, experiencing how precious we are to God and others.

As a result of full spiritual and emotional cups, high on our list of priorities will be a desire to share what we have with others. Ministering to the needs of someone who has less will cause us to enter our homes without the former sense of nagging dissatisfaction and with the sense that this home of ours is in fact a palace. I may or may not feel wealthy, but I know I am in fact rich and content.

January 2000

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