Making children feel welcome

How we can make children feel more at home in church.

Evelyn Omaña is director of children's ministries at the Inter-American Division, Miami, Florida.

A professor stood before his class with a number of items on the table in front of him. Without saying a word he picked up a large empty jar and filled it with rocks, each about two inches in diameter. Then he spoke, asking his students whether the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

The professor then poured a box of pebbles into the same jar and shook it lightly. This, of course, caused the pebbles to fill in the open areas between the rocks. Again, he asked the students whether the jar was full. Again, they agreed that it was.

The students smiled as the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up all the space that was left. "Now," said the professor, "consider this jar as your life." The rocks represent the most important things in life family, health, children any thing that is so important to you that you would feel lost if it were taken from you. The pebbles are other things that matter such as your career, house, and possessions. The sand is everything else.

If the sand were poured into the jar first, there would be no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for life. If we spend all our energy and time on the small and the less significant, we will never have room for the things that are crucial. Take care of the rocks first because they are the things that really matter. It's a matter of priorities and setting them in proper order.

A matter of priorities

As a church facing multiple demands and needs we sometimes hardly take time to consider whether our children's ministries are merely functioning, or whether we are intentionally moving in a specific direction that enhances and shapes our ministry to our children in a direction specifically helpful to them. We might feel trapped in the myth that if we move ahead with some changes in our priorities, we will lose people's approval, or promote chaos in the church. This kind of thinking is not helpful in the light of the realities we face.

As we view our church today, we can't help noticing that a significant number of our members are between 15 to 35 years of age. These members are either youth age them selves or they have young children filling our Sabbath Schools. With this in mind, we must ask whether we are placing our children too low on our priority list? Are we giving them a sand-and-pebbles treatment, rather than valu ing them by making our ministry to them a major priority? These children represent those who soon will lead our local churches, our entire organization, or perhaps become leaders in the society.

Provocative, diagnostic questions

Not long ago I attended a large ministerial meeting where a woman asked several pertinent and painful questions:

  • Why do adult Sabbath School classes get the best Sabbath School teachers?
  • Why are we giving the children the old equipment that the adults don't want?
  • Why do we appoint leaders for the dif ferent children's ministries in the church without giving them any meaningful training for these tasks?
  • Why do many churches build large and comfortable rooms for adults while those for children are small and uncomfortable?
  • Why do we, all too often, ignore our children when selecting participants for important worship service assignments?

An honest analysis of these questions may well lead us to conclude that we definitely could adjust our priorities in favor of our children. It is all too easy to come to the place where, like Jesus' disciples, we are in one way or the other, attempting to send the children away because our minds are on other more pressing adult priorities.

When Jesus told the disciples not to forbid the children to come to Him, He was speaking to His followers in all ages, to officers of the church, to ministers, helpers, and all Christians. Jesus is drawing the children, and He bids us, "Suffer them to come"; as if He would say, "They will come if you do not hinder them."1

When this is said, it does not always mean that churches are simply not interested in their children. Perhaps they do not clearly comprehend the importance of ministering to children according to their age level. If we want young adults in the church, we must pay attention to them while they are still children.

We need to identify the needs of each age level and strive to create a unique and appropriate environment for them. Churches that do not provide an attractive environment for children, appropriate furniture that fits their growing bodies, interesting and well-balanced programs, loving acceptance, and active involvement, send a negative message to their children. This could contribute to their later decision to withdraw emotional ly, and finally bodily, from the church.

If we want to see the upcoming generation involved and identified with the church, we need to initiate action that will empower them to look at the church not as the place where they must go because their parents and others expect it, but as the place where they worship their Creator in dynamic and friendly relationship.

Some ideas for immediate implementation If we want to see our churches meet the children's needs, the following ideas are worth serious consideration. Try them with enthusiasm and determination:

  • Find specific ways to make the church environment attractive and safe for children. Take a careful look at your children's facilities. See whether they are designed especially with children in mind. The environment we create helps capture the children's attention and draws them into the reality that we are trying to communicate.
  • Make children feel welcome. Ask people, perhaps older youth, to greet the children while the congregation is singing, while the offering is being taken, or when the children arrive at church.
  • Include planned activities for children in the church worship schedule. Children learn by doing. We can't expect to have them enjoy their church experience just sitting and observing what is going on around them. Children need a variety of activities. Allow them to participate regularly as readers, ushers, greeters, speakers, and in every other appropriate way.
  • Upgrade the bathroom facilities for children. Lower the drinking foun tains or place a stool to make the fountain accessible to them. Provide adequate furniture for children that is constructed to fit their size.
  • Sing songs that have melodies and words appropriate for children. Invite them to the altar during the pastoral prayer. Seek movement and activity rather than requiring austere stillness and silence.
  • Remember that children are listening to the sermon. So capture their attention by asking a question, showing a picture, telling a story, or using an attractive illustration. Remember the power of color, movement, and singing. Encourage children to submit their questions or ideas about the sermon. Take time to answer their questions and thank them for their participation.

The mission of our denomination's Children's Ministries Department is to help children develop a long-lasting spiritual, redemptive, and loving relationship with God and the church. We can empower this generation of children to feel that they belong in the kingdom of God, and that the church is their church, a place to which they love to come.

1 Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages (Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1898), 517.


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Evelyn Omaña is director of children's ministries at the Inter-American Division, Miami, Florida.

November 2002

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