Sexuality in ministry: the pastor, sexual sin, and the Bible

The third in Ministry's series on clergy and constructive sexual behavior.

MiroslavM. Kis, Ph.D., professor of ethics at the Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary, Andrews University, Berrien Springs, Michigan.

In the first essay in this series (see January's Ministry) we focused on the minister's identity as portrayed in the Bible. We concluded that he or she1 is an unusual person. A pastor is called to identify with his vocation, to be a minis ter, and to do ministry from there.

In the sense of who he is, today's pastor can identify very closely with priests in biblical times. I witness this as I visit pastoral retreats or conferences everywhere in the world. Ministers themselves, the churches they serve, and even some outside the church see ministers as counterparts of the priests and prophets who are central to the biblical story.

I also hear these pastors pray fervently about sister Alva's heart condition or young Tony's dangerous escapades with drugs. Alva is not their mother nor is Tony their son, but they are Christ's blood relatives, His sheep, and the shepherd's heart of a minister pulsates for them.

A plumber's work need not affect his personal identity in quite this way. His profession, natural talents, and good training are sufficient in themselves for him to do his work effectively. We pas tors are called to lead human beings through the relentless battle against sin and evil, against principalities and powers, and into the safety of God's abiding presence. Natural talents and training are not sufficient for these things.

You and I, along with the apostle Paul, are not mere "peddlers of Cod's word" (2 Cor. 2:1 7). We are called to be the aroma of Christ, to some a "fragrance from death to death, to others a fragrance from life to life" (2 Cor. 2:15, 16).

How wonderful and humbling! What a privilege and responsibility!2 God for bid that we ever forget this ... ever ... even in the privacy of our sexual life!

After all, human sexuality is a natural part of a minister's identity, and the wonder of sexual intimacy is an integral part of a minister's marriage. These two elements of identity, the sexual and ministerial, stand side by side in the pastor.

In our second essay (the March issue of Ministry) we even hinted that if harnessed, the incredible power of sexual energy can become an ally in ministry. But harnessed it must be. In this, the third essay, we will search the Scripture, especially the landscape of the Old Testament, seeking God's position on the minister's marriage and sexuality, and thus His response to sexual misconduct in ministry.

The wife of the priest

God's instructions to Moses about the marriage of the priests reveal His concerns for the intimate life and home ambiance of His spiritual leaders. We find God involved (almost as directly as with Adam) in the choice of wives for the priests. Unlike wives of kings, judges, or other leaders in Israel, the wife of a priest had to be chosen in harmony with specific criteria. "We love each other" is not enough. "She pleases me well" does not work here (Judges 14:3, RSV).*

In the case of regular priests we read: "They shall not marry a harlot or a woman who has been defiled; neither shall they marry a woman divorced from her husband; for the priest is holy to his God" (Lev. 21:7).

The guidelines for "the priest who is chief among his brethren" are even more explicit and selective. "And he shall take his wife in her virginity. A widow, or one divorced, or a woman who has been defiled, or a harlot, these he shall not marry; but he shall take to wife a virgin of his own people, that he may not profane his children among his people; for I am the LORD who sanctify him" (Lev. 21:13-15).

Some 850 years later, as liberalizing influences threatened, God did not give in to social pressure. Selectivity for all priests is instead heightened. "They shall not marry a widow, or a divorced woman, but only a virgin of the stock of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest" (Ezek. 44:22).

The first explicit reason for this selectivity is summed up in the words: "the priest is holy to his God." His spouse, his "one flesh" companion, is a part of the priest's sphere of holiness and must not become a contact point with the profane.3

The second reason for guidelines might be an attempt to protect the marriage of the priest from unresolved issues and pains that past traumatic experiences of a future spouse might bring into the new union. Excessive and unresolved personal needs often reduce one's capacities to support and assist others.

The third reason is summed up in these words: "They shall teach my people the difference between the holy and the common, and show them how to distinguish between the unclean and the clean" (Ezek. 44:23). This instruction cannot be expressed in words alone. Examples of the way the ministerial couple loves and cares for each other and the way in which their home and family operate are the most effective support for teaching the difference between the holy and the common, between the unclean and clean.

What the Bible is saying, in no uncertain terms, is this: The pastor's wife is unique, a special wife in God's estimation. God watches jealously over how we pastors choose our mates; how we treat them; how we appreciate their loyalty to God, to His work, and to us; and how genuine our love for them is, even when they are advanced in years (Mal. 2:13-16). We must inform and carefully initiate the future spouses of young pastors and the wives of second career ministers.

Some time ago I was faced with the sexual misconduct of the wife of a pas tor who had entered ministry from another profession. She told me, "I accepted his change of work because I love him. But I did not know what it means to be a pastor's wife. I simply cannot take it, and he has ignored my signals and my needs for years."

The general biblical position on sexual sin

The institution of the marriage covenant enjoys a highly protected status in the Bible. Even before the promulgation of the Moral Law on Sinai, God intervened twice on behalf of Sarah's marriage (Gen. 12:10-20; 20:1-18).

The seventh commandment prohibits adultery for everyone (Exod. 20:14), and the tenth forbids coveting a neighbor's wife (verse 1 7). The violation of the seventh commandment was punishable by death (Lev. 20:10; Deut. 22:22 ff).

Adultery does violence to the "one flesh" union and "has the character of murder either in robbing the husband of his self hood, or in destroying the corporeity that is created by the sexual union."4

Even the suspicion of sexual sin called for a special procedure "before" God. If a wife was guilty of infidelity, she had to drink bitter water, which would "cause bitter pain, and her body shall swell, and her thigh shall fall away, and the woman shall become an execration among her people" (Num. 5:11-31). In the book Jeremiah, chapter 3, adultery and idolatry are presented as the most serious offenses against God and humans.

As we move down through the history of God's people, we observe trends toward the compromise of marital fidelity. At times it appears as if fornication and adultery reached epidemic proportions (Judges 19:22-26).

We read of prominent individuals, such as Judah, Samson, and David, engaging in some of the most scandalous behavior, almost as if this was a normal, acceptable thing to do. And as trends continued to slide, God's reaction became increasingly definite.

He relied on people such as Phineas, the grandson of Aaron, and the prophets Nathan, Malachi, and John the Baptist to decisively oppose the decadence of social mores among His people and their leaders.

Jesus Himself stood firmly against the stream by calling sin by its name and by urging His hearers to anchor their norms to what was "in the beginning" (Exod. 20:1 7; Matt. 5:27, 28). No matter how shameless or innocuous sexual misconduct appears to be, how prevalent and acceptable it becomes in a given culture and time, or how prominent the offender, the biblical witness unequivocally condemns adultery and fornication in the most decisive terms.

But the Bible also teaches that the sexual sinner can be forgiven. David's case was outrageous, yet it became an encouraging example of how God deals with the most serious sexual sin. David covets, he commits adultery, and he plans and implements a murder with all the deceitfulness that such a feat requires. But when Nathan intervenes, David discovers the ugliness of his ways, repents, publishes his utter regrets for all to read (Ps. 51), and remains on his throne.

Consequences do come, however: David's resulting child dies; his kingly influence and respect are all but shattered;5 the sword never left his house; his wives were taken away from him publicly (2 Sam. 12:10-14); Shimei felt free to curse and throw stones and dirt at the king; and David himself lamented: "Behold my own son [Absalom] seeks my life" (2 Sam. 16:9-11).

It is important to note that it was not because of or while in his sin that David was called a man after God's own heart. It was when he thoroughly and openly repented and abandoned his sin in humility and without self-justification.6

The Bible and sexual sin among priests

David's experience and position are not in the same category with priests. David was a king, anointed as a civil servant. The difference is clearly out lined when Saul acted as if the distinction between king and priest was so insignificant that he felt he could proceed freely by offering the sacrifice in view of Samuel's delay.

In the light of Saul's behavior God says, "I repent that I made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me" (1 Sam. 15:10). David as a "lay" person was anointed for the kingly office and role. Priests, on the other hand, were set apart in a different ceremony (Lev. 9) and for the holy office of spiritual leader of people and all other leaders.

In what follows we will see that God expects the behavior of a priest to match the influence of his identity and the gravity of his calling. A deep, God ordained and inner sense of the minister's identity must hold his sexual identity in control.

So we must press Scripture further to see what happens when a priest is found guilty of sexual sin.

The sons of Eli the priest. One notorious case of sexual sin in ministry is found in 1 Samuel 2:12-24. Verse 22 says, "Now Eli was very old, and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting."

This last charge was particularly significant. Perhaps these women were Nazarites involved in a voluntary service at the worship site (Num. 6:2; Exod. 38:8)7 In any case, their presence there had a legitimate purpose. Yet the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phineas, deliberately abused their priestly position, involving these women in sins that were specifically prohibited.

In Deuteronomy we read, "There shall be no cult prostitute of the daughters of Israel, neither shall there be a cult prostitute of the sons of Israel" (23:17).8 The intensely earnest appeals of the father of these two men, the priest Eli, came too late. He tried to impress on his sons the seriousness of the abuse of their powers as well as their responsibilities, and the gravity of the loss of trust with the people.

Priests are holy (set apart) to their God. They are not their own. When they minister among God's people, they are serving Him. When they abuse His people, they touch the apple of His eye. When prostituted by His anointed ones, God's name, His house, and His endorsement bring them to the brink of no return.

Eli pleads, "If a man sins against a man, God will mediate for him: but if a man sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?" (1 Sam. 2:25). When the only bridge to safety is destroyed, how can a rescue reach the one in peril? Sexual sin is never just a casual physical experience of no consequence. Adultery and fornication in ministry are direct assaults on the essential values of God and thus upon God Himself, and His plan of salvation.

How could the people of Israel believe that God was mighty to save them from their sins, when Hophni and Phineas, His holy representatives, demonstrated His impotence to control their passions?

Telling the story, the prophet Samuel recalled with sadness: "But they would not listen to the voice of their father (Eli); for it was the will of the LORD to slay them" (1 Sam. 2:25).

What by now is eminently clear is that God's decision to end their lives is irrevocable. A man of God comes to Eli and declares to him all that will come to his sons and his household as a consequence of trifling with the priestly vocation. "Those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed. . . .And this which shall befall your two sons, Hophni and Phineas, shall be the sign to you: both of them shall die on the same day. And I will rise up for myself a faithful priest, who shall do according to what is in my heart and in my mind; and I will build him a sure house, and he shall go in and out before my anointed forever" (verses 30, 34, 35).

Effectiveness and honor in ministry are not inherited but acquired. The people of God are too prudent and insightful to be impressed by mere name or pedigree. Spiritual issues and the needs of the soul are so deep and divergent with every member of the church that only ministers who are true and innocent in their "inward being" (Ps. 51:6) will be able to discern God's prodding as He leads each one in His service.

"The sons of Eli inherited a sacred responsibility and an honorable name, yet through selfishness they had so become servants of Satan as to merit the universal complaints of the people. When their father failed to exercise his authority, he was warned that even as reverence and honor produce a harvest of character and usefulness, so the sowing of irreverence and dishonor results in dishonor and disappointment."9

"The life spent on self is like the grain that is eaten. It disappears, but there is no increase. A man can gather all he can for self; he may live and think and plan for self; but his life passes away and he has nothing. The law of self-serving is the law of self-destruction."10

The priests in Malachi's time. A message of sharp rebuke meets the priests who are contemporaries of the prophet Malachi. God's reputation (His glory) is at stake (Mal. 2:2), declares the prophet. God serves notice that His covenant with the priesthood, "with Levi" (verse 4), is being broken continually.

At the time when the covenant was made, God recalled with fond memories: "My covenant with him was a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him, that he may fear; and he feared me, he stood in awe of my name. True instruction was in his mouth, and no wrong was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and upright ness, and he turned many from iniquity. For the lips of a priest should guard knowledge, and men should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts. But you have turned aside from the way; you have caused many to stumble by your instruction; you have corrupted the covenant of Levi, says the LORD of hosts, and so I make you despised and abased before all the people, inasmuch as you have not kept my ways but have shown partiality in your instruction" (verses 5-9).

Moved by their sexual lust, the priests adjusted their theology to fit their unholy intentions, their secret vices, and their treacherous dealings, until moral values and norms were reversed. Thus they claimed, "Every one who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delights in them" (verse 17). And because the "lips of a priest should guard knowledge," people listened and fell prey to their corrupt advice.

But deep within themselves, they knew very well that things were not the way they pretended them to be. God had withdrawn His power from their ministry and they knew it. Yet, in deceiving others they convinced them selves. They asked, Why doesn't God accept the offering from our hands with favor? (verses 13, 14).

The answer came. "Why does he not? Because the LORD was witness to the covenant between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Has not the one God made and sustained for us the spirit of life? And what does he desire? Godly offspring. So take heed to your selves and let none be faithless to the wife of his youth. For I hate divorce, says the LORD the God of Israel, and cover ing one's garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So take heed to yourselves and do not be faithless" (Mal. 2:14-16).

The situation is clear. God could not keep the covenant "of Levi" with them; He could not work with, or through, these priests; He could not bless their ministry in the professional, vocational realm while they didn't keep their God witnessed covenant with their wives.

This kind of divided arrangement, this inconsistency in relationships, simply will not do (Matt. 5:23, 24).

Ministers today

God stands firmly on the side of the cheated spouses of these priests, and of pastors' spouses today. Unless pastors respect their covenant with their spouses, they are out of favor with God. These are issues that prompt God to use the language of strongest rebuke.

God's words are powerful and intimidating. We who are God's ministers need to have enough courage to hear His word without attempting to dilute it.

In the next essays we will see further why God is so personally involved in the minister's marriage, and why He takes the sexual sin of His ministers so seriously.

God has taken a clear stand. He has ample power to protect, grace to heal, and mercy to forgive. And whatever we may think of our marriage, whatever our status, influence, reputation or position in ministry, faithfulness to the wife of our youth is of paramount importance to Him.

* All Scriptures are taken from the Revised Standard Version.

1 Throughout this study, male pronouns predominate because so much of the biblical material presupposes the male gender. It is never the intention of Ministry to discriminate in any way against the female gender.

2 E. G. White, Ministry of Healing (Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1905), 119.

3 Walther Zimmerli, A Commentary on the Book of the Prophet Ezekiel (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1983), 2:460.

4 O Piper, The Biblical View of Sex and Marriage (New York: Scribners, 1960), 150.

5 E. G. White, Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce (Silver Spring, Md.: Ellen G. White Estate, 1989), 174, 175.

6 Ibid., 94, 95.

7 Robert D. Bergen, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 1996), 7:80, 81.

8 See also Exod 25:1-5; Amos 2:7, 8.

9 SDA Bible Commentary, ed. F. D. Nichcl (Washington D.C.: Review and Herald, 1976), 2:463, 464.

10 E. G. White, The Desire of Ages (Nampa, Idaho: Pacific Press Pub. Assn., 1898), 624


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MiroslavM. Kis, Ph.D., professor of ethics at the Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary, Andrews University, Berrien Springs, Michigan.

May 2004

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