All his life, the young seminarian had been the model of success: good grades, good relationships, good work ethic. In seminary, he began to experience intense anxiety, depression, pervasive fatigue, insomnia, digestive problems, and blurred vision.
As his anxiety mounted and his depression deepened, he contemplated suicide. Fortunately, his family was alerted and intervention took place. The young man was hospitalized in a psychiatric facility where he would spend four months and then more time recuperating at home. He returned to seminary studies, graduating summa cum laude.
That seminarian was Harry Emerson Fosdick, one of America's most outstanding preachers and first minister of New York City's famed Riverside Church.
Fosdick's bout with mental illness had a permanent and positive impact upon his ministry and those to whom he ministered. During his time of darkness, Fosdick would say: "I learned to pray not because I had adequately argued out prayer's rationality, but because I desperately needed help from a power greater than my own. I learned that God, much more than a theological proposition, is an immediately available resource."
Looking back at his bout with mental ill ness, Fosdick said: "While it was the most hideous experience of my life, I have learned to be grateful for it."
Important insights
Fosdick's experience throws light on two important realities. First, clergy are not immune to the stresses and struggles of life and can, like anyone else, fall into the grip of a mental illness. Second, ministers who have experienced a form of mental illness can become highly effective wounded healers and spiritual leaders.
When a minister faces his or her own mental demons, it is vital that the church reach out with empathy and compassion. Here are some guidelines for church leaders who want to minister to a pastor struggling with mental illness.
Dos and don'ts
Do be aware of the signs which may indicate a mental illness. While these are hard to pin down, the signs often include marked personality change, difficulty coping with problems and daily activities, excessive worries, prolonged depression, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, extreme anger and hostility, abuse of alcohol or other drugs, self-destructive actions, and/or impulsive or erratic behavior.
Don't be confrontational. Approach the minister in a spirit of humility, kindness, and love. The minister may be invited to meet with a very small group two or three mature people is ideal to discuss the matter. More than three can be intimidating for a pastor and can make him or her feel ganged up on.
Do be respectful. Respect that the pastor with a mental illness should have the primary role in recovery because he or she has the mental illness.
Don't criticize or moralize about their behavior. For example, a highly depressed person may tend to sleep a lot. It is not helpful to tell them they are lazy and not putting enough into their work.
Do state the problem, as you perceive it, clearly and precisely.
Don't demand. Indicate that you want to explore options and solutions together with the pastor. It can help to come up with two or three options, allowing the minister to choose what is most comfortable.
Do assist the pastor in understanding there may be consequences if agreed options are not followed. Again, present this using nonthreatening, collegial words and expressions.
Don't become impatient or have unrealistic expectations. Give the pastor time to recover and heal. Paul's words are golden, "Love is patient and kind...love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs" (1 Cor. 13:4, 5, TEV).
Do consult with a professional who can guide you into positive and effective ways of dealing with the situation. This could be persons such as a denominational staff person with training in crisis intervention, a social worker, or a psychologist.
Don't think that one meeting or conversation will resolve the entire matter. Plan to have a few follow-up meetings to continue the conversation and provide ongoing support.
Do generate hope and hopeful attitudes. Reflect on this biblical insight: "When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed" (Prov. 13:12). Do all you can to foster hopeful attitudes because without hope depression will deepen into despair. It is always helpful to convey optimism and the expectation of a successful outcome. Even if the matter is at a crisis level, try to spotlight areas of encouragement.
Consider this wisdom from psy chologist H. Norman Wright, author of Crisis Counseling: "It is important to foster hope and positive expectations. Do not give them false promises, but encourage them to solve their problems. Your belief in their capabilities will be important. This is a time when they need to borrow your hope and faith until theirs returns. You expect the crisis to be resolved in some way at some time, and you expect them to work and be able to solve problems. It is your approach and interaction with them that usually conveys this rather than making blanket statements to them."
- Don't abandon the pastor after meeting with him or her. Continue to help manage the illness by:
- Being emotionally supportive and patient
- Expressing compassion for what the minister is experiencing without claiming to understand all of it
- Keeping the relationship as unchanged as possible
- Remaining available throughout the treatment
Prayer
Of course, it is vital that those seeking to minister to a mentally ill minister pray not only for their pastor but for themselves, to have both courage and wisdom as they search out to reach out and help. The following prayer, originally written by the Lakeshore Mental Health Institute, Knoxville, Tennessee, is a good model:
O God, whose circle of care includes all, encourage us and our families, that we might cope faithfully with mental illness. Deepen our understanding. Teach us patience. Increase our capacity for empathy and acceptance. Help us not to be victimized by the stigmatizing attitudes of the uninformed and uncaring. Enable us to share the journey to find strength in partnership with others, to build together a community of support and healing. So nurture and sustain us in Your love and understanding, that we may act wisely and serve compassionately, to relieve suffering, provide care, and offer help. Amen.
