Another look at the back door

Is it a realistic expectation that we should be aware of the direction traveled by every member of our congregations?

Joe A. Webb, DMin, is pastor of the Nambour and Yandina churches in South Queensland, Australia.

Many churches have a larger membership on the books than the actual number of worshipers. The church may not even know where some of these missing members are, for they may have slipped quietly out the “back door.” But how can they walk out unnoticed? Who was supposed to be watching that door? And, why was it left open anyway?

The truth? While too many people exit by the back door, most people don’t have a clue as to where, or what, this back door is. Members agree, however, that it should be closed. The idea of closing the back door can be described as a loving attempt to encourage and convince people to stay in the fellowship. That’s why it is important to help your church identify and close the back door.

What is the back door?

Literally speaking, the back door means a rear exit. It turns out to be the easiest way out; you don’t get questioned or judged, and usually no one is aware you are leaving. The church’s back door, though, is not a literal door at the rear of the church, but a metaphor referring to the process of quietly leaving.

Before decisions to leave are finalized, a time of evaluation usually takes place. Those who want to leave have to look for an exit point, which is traditionally seen as the back door. Consequently, it may take some time to fully withdraw from fellowship. Although the exit point probably becomes the final “board” in the door, so to speak, it certainly does not comprise the whole door. Imagine that the church’s back door consists of a number of boards. One board can be identified as the actual exit point; another the decision to exit. Still another board is the reason for exiting. Should there be more than one reason for leaving, these become other boards.

Even unknowingly, people pick up boards throughout their church experience. If they have no opportunity to put them down somewhere, these may one day form a back door.

Understanding what the back door really is will help us understand where it is. Furthermore, when we are aware of potential locations, we are better equipped to prevent people from traveling that route. We can formulate strategies that will enable our churches to guard the doors intentionally.

Where is your back door?

Those in the congregation, focused on other things, do not easily see a church’s back door. The answer to the problem is not to shift your total focus and energies to this issue but broaden your attention to include the back-door problem. Where is your back door? This is an easy question to ask, but adequate answers will take time and patience to ascertain. When we discover why some people leave and others consider leaving, we have identified some boards that, in different combinations, have the potential to make up a door with “Rear Exit” written on it.

In attempting to discover a back door, no detail must be overlooked no matter how insignificant. Remember, you are trying to complete a picture and each piece of the puzzle has value. Don’t waste time discovering why people want to leave if you are not willing to act upon what you find. This strategy should not be just a public relations exercise.

Don’t assume anything. If you suspect that some elderly people stay home in winter because the church temperature seems too cold, then ask the relevant questions, and do something about the problem. All conclusions must be based on information received, so make sure you have the maximum amount of information possible. If you can remove someone’s temptation to pull out of the church by meeting his or her needs, then God requires just that of your church. Remember, your church’s back door will probably be wherever you leave boards lying around and you don’t notice people picking them up.

Identifying those heading for the back door

How often have I heard the words, “I never would have guessed that they were going to leave”? If we don’t know when people are going to leave, it may also be true that we are not aware of the problems, issues, or circumstances causing them to make this decision. This raises an important question: Is it a realistic expectation that we should be aware of the direction traveled by every member of our congregations? The answer comes as both No and Yes. No, the pastor keeping a close eye on everyone results in an unrealistic expectation of one person nurturing, encouraging, and counseling an entire congregation. At the same time, the answer is Yes: the expectation becomes realistic with the whole church involved in this work.

Those heading for the back door may have already concluded that they are not important to the church, and no one cares about them. So, how can we know they are on the dropout track? Here are some areas on which to focus. The following points do not comprise an exhaustive list, neither are they in any order of importance, but are simply an illustration of the type of things to consider.

• Some people in your church may not have become involved in any type of ministry, as they have probably never discovered their spiritual gifts. They may not contribute to worship or study programs to any great degree. These people are not often asked to do anything as we assume they don’t want to be involved. Be careful with these people. Rather than asking them to be involved with a specific task, ask them where they would like to be involved.

• Some people leave church because of things we do. Others leave because of things we don’t do. Many times their leaving has nothing to do with us; it could be some tragedy or issue in the family. Even minor problems can cause people to begin their exit journey if no one cares or shows any interest.

• Another area in which we should be sensitive is criticism. When someone who has been generally supportive begins to criticize, even in small ways, there will be issues that need to be resolved.

• Obvious candidates for the back door are those who do not attend services regularly. If members do not have a valid reason to be absent from time to time, don’t just assume reasons for absences. If they are getting into the habit of staying home, find out why. The bottom line? Anyone in your church can pull out if they do not feel loved and valued.

Closing the back door

Only the local church membership can close the back door. While it would be unrealistic to think we can meet all of the needs in our congregation, we can attempt to meet those needs we discover. The more needs being met, the less likely people will look for a quiet exit. The likelihood of leaving increases in proportion to the quantity of unmet needs. In reality, any individual’s back door is hard to see because it is not a complete door until just before the person steps through it.

Needs are met by a caring church, and a caring church means more than having your hand shaken four times between the parking lot and the pew. Christian caring cannot be programmed. If you attempt to train your church members to be caring, you will most likely focus on the handshakes, hellos, hot drinks, and hugs. While nothing, of course, can be considered wrong with any of these, they will tend to diminish when those involved get tired or move on to another time-consuming ministry.

A caring church equates with a church where individuals focus upon their personal relationship with Jesus and His claims upon their lives. They have a clear conception of the value Jesus places upon each individual. When caring for one another becomes an outpouring of love received, Christian caring becomes a way of life rather than a church ministry.

Closing the back door, then, involves getting close to people, learning their needs as they are willing to share them, and meeting those needs where appropriate. People who have meaningful relationships with fellow Christians are less likely to leave.

When considering how to close the back door, a need exists for each church to do some serious evaluation in regards to the connection each member has with Jesus Christ. While it is true that you certainly cannot program spirituality into people, you can promote spirituality through the focus and emphasis in everything you do as a church.

Perhaps we need to stop trying to close the back door and concentrate on eliminating it through dealing with possible board-producing situations.

Educating the church about the back door

Members must realize that people will only remain in the church when they are encouraged and allowed to feel a part of the family. The process through which a person becomes a part of the church family is known as incorporation. This incorporation does not come through baptism, profession of faith, a pastoral decree, or a warm “Welcome to the family” from the pulpit. Incorporation takes place when new people develop meaningful relationships in the church family and are involved in running the church and its activities. Such involvement gives people a sense of ownership and belonging and the satisfaction of contributing something to their new family.

The principle of incorporation places a responsibility upon everyone. While new members sometimes find it difficult to merge with established relationships, new relationships must be allowed to form. If new people are not allowed to contribute because proven, long-term members do everything, and if no sense of ownership develops, new members may begin to form an exit strategy. It is often safe to put people to work sooner rather than later, especially when their spiritual gifts become evident.

By way of a challenge, let me point to an instance that happened not long after Jesus’ resurrection. In John 21:15–17, Jesus asked Peter the same question three times: “ ‘Do you love Me?’ ” In verse 16, in response to Peter’s affirmation of love, Jesus told him to, “ ‘Tend My sheep’ ” (NKJV).

Can we accept this task given to Peter as a part of the modern church’s commission? If so, tending sheep is much more than supplying food, it also includes everything involved in watching over and caring for them. The idea that caring just means feeding has led to the belief that only the pastor is identified as the shepherd. Only as the church members realize and accept this commission and rise to the challenge, will new members, and some not so new, be incorporated.

How not to close the back door

Some church leaders promote their church as a place where people are cared for. On their church sign are the words, “A caring church.” However, despite all of the advertising, some members don’t feel cared for. You will never convince them to stay in the fellowship by preaching and advertising that the church consists of something it does not. Fear or guilt should not motivate people to stay. If someone is walking toward the back door, I doubt if such tactics would turn them around and might even make them feel farther away from God without the desired encouragement to return to Him.

Trying to instill a sense of responsibility, such as encouraging parents to stay with the church because of their children, will not necessarily establish people in the faith. While parents have a responsibility to bring up their children in the way of the Lord, if this remains as the only motivation for attending, what will happen when the children leave home or begin to make their own decisions?

Adding new programs with the hope that they may meet some people’s needs and cause them to stay is a hit-and-miss tactic. You may be lucky and provide just what some people need. On the other hand, you may be providing what others don’t need or want. New or different programs and strategies should be added only after discovering the felt needs of a congregation. Some needs are more easily discovered than others, and no substitute exists for good research.

Don’t have an unhealthy emphasis on future rewards (good or bad) as a motivation for attendance. Eternity with Jesus cannot be attained by church attendance, but God makes eternal life possible by His grace and received by faith. Of course, the church where the members spontaneously exhibit the character of Jesus toward one another, meeting each other’s needs under the guidance and equipping of the Holy Spirit, describes a church where people will want to attend and stay.


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Joe A. Webb, DMin, is pastor of the Nambour and Yandina churches in South Queensland, Australia.

October 2009

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