Saying Thank you to your congregational team members

During the month of October in certain parts of the world, churches commemorate what is known as Clergy Appreciation Month. Setting this time aside provides congregations the opportunity “to honor their pastors and pastoral families for the hard work, sacrificial dedication and multiple blessings provided by these special people.”¹ Doing so is necessary because “their lives are played out in a fishbowl, with the entire congregation and community watching their every move. They are expected to have ideal families, to be perfect people, to always be available, to never be down and to have all the answers we need to keep our own lives stable and moving forward.”² Without a doubt, pastors are vital to the successful operation of local congregations. But they cannot do it alone. Moses, shepherd of a large congregation in the wilderness, must have thought that all the responsibilities belonged to him until his father-in-law shared a more prudent course of action with him (Exod. 18:13–26). Ministry became more efficient when the duties were shared among many.

We commend Moses for his patience during those 40 years of guiding God’s people. But what do we know about those who assisted him? What commendations can we give them for aiding Moses in what he did? Likewise, we rightfully express gratitude to our pastors for their selfless service to us. But what do we do for the countless helpers throughout the congregation who lighten the load of the pastor?

A different model

Many church members tend to vest unlimited power and authority in their pastors—often to the point of placing them on pedestals. This is understandable in that church members want to be proud of their pastor. They want a visible leader who has a stately bearing, exuding confidence (not arrogance). As a result, many members of the congregation gladly show their appreciation to pastors by remembering them on special occasions.

But how do church members affirm themselves? Should they? It seems self-serving for the congregation to do something for the congregation. Perhaps the pastor (or the pastoral staff, if the church has a large membership) should step in and proactively affirm the members in general and the officers in particular—who volunteer by contributing time, talents, and energy to implement the Great Commission.

The basis for pastors doing something for those church members who lighten their load can be found in another day that some cultures celebrate—Administrative Professionals’ Day. Some countries commemorate this day on the Wednesday of the last full week of April. This model makes sense because, while the public sees the teacher, they do not always see the teacher’s aide who attends to more menial matters, such as supervising children on the playground. While they see the attorney, they do not always see the paralegal who did the research. My wife, a school teacher, has always been careful to give some token of appreciation to every teacher’s aide who has worked with her and every student teacher who has assisted her. Why? Because their work often goes unrecognized by the majority of people who benefit from their sacrifices.

Likewise, people see the pastor up front—preaching and leading out, setting the course in which people should walk. In the pastor’s absence, they see their local leaders conduct the public business of the church. But what about the Bible teacher for the small children (it is always difficult finding people who will spend time and energy working with them)? Or the deacons who faithfully clean restrooms and pick up trash that people (not necessarily children) carelessly leave on the church pews? Or the old saint who feels she has no talents to share with others but promises to pray for the pastor daily?

Should we not, as ministers, show appropriate appreciation to them; just as they show appreciation to us?

Showing appreciation

Ministry, regardless of the form it takes, demands a certain task orientation. Pastors focus upon (among other things) writing sermons and preparing for board and business meetings. University professors focus on lectures, guiding doctoral students through the thesis or dissertation process, and writing books and articles for journals. Denominational leaders cast a vision for the congregations they lead. Treasurers think constantly about how to stretch the available funds at their disposal. Editors can no sooner complete the work in preparation for one set of deadlines before the next set of deadlines suddenly looms on the horizon.

Who has the time to exhibit a people orientation? After all, we live in a world that seeks the highest level of performance. When all is said and done, what are the tangible results of the energies expended? Such is the mind-set of placing programs above people. But while programs (and the implementation thereof) are necessities, programs must still exist within the context of people. And those people want to feel appreciated. They need to feel appreciated.

The following suggestions do not carry with them the force of the Ten Commandments; but ten is an easy number to remember. I have personally found that the ideas that follow—while they are written in the context of a local church—do indeed work in other settings as well.

1. Refer to them as colleagues or partners in ministry, rather than officers. The term officer often comes across as bureaucratic, the result of a seemingly cold selection process. While officers are vested with a certain authority by virtue of their election, that very term can contribute to a programs-versus-people mentality—task orientation over people orientation.

Seeing them as partners in ministry instills within them the same expectations they have of the pastor and that the pastor personally possesses. It creates a greater sense of ownership and a desire to successfully fulfill the mission placed before them.

As ministers, we do not need to fear that promoting such collegiality will diminish our standing in the eyes of either our colleagues or other church members. Experience has taught me quite the opposite— they have a greater respect both for the pastor and the ministry of the pastor.

2. Broaden the definition of colleague beyond elected personnel and assistants. Because Paul uses the human body to analogize the church, just as every part of the body depends on other parts, so also do we depend upon others in the church. As such, we all are partners in ministry—not just those who were elected to serve. And when everyone in the church feels empowered in this way—for each one has at least one spiritual gift— they, too, sense ownership of the church and its mission.

Many years ago, the night before I was scheduled to have an impacted wisdom tooth removed, I called a church member of mine from a church I pastored several years earlier. I had never undergone general anesthesia and was nervous that if something could go wrong, it would. Expressing my concern for my well-being, she chuckled. She had undergone many surgeries in her life and had learned to trust God regardless. Her kind, gentle voice spoke to me, “Pastor, don’t you worry about a thing. Everything is going to be all right.”

She and I both learned a lot from her praying for me that evening. Although she was blind and felt that there was nothing she could do for others, it reaffirmed what I already knew; the power of her prayers energizes pastors and others for their ministries—and that was a ministry in itself. As for her, it encouraged her to know that someone valued what she thought was an insignificant contribution.

3. Do not limit communication with your colleagues to only those times when you need something. Due to the demanding nature of ministry, it becomes easy to focus on performance and results. Many of our partners in ministry may be performance oriented because they are accustomed to achieving results on their jobs; or if they have retired from the active workforce, they were accustomed to having to produce at a high level in their occupations.

Nevertheless, we must keep in mind that they are not pawns in a chess match. While they are indeed committed to ministry, they are still—first and foremost—human beings with needs and emotions. Genuinely ask them how their previous day or week went, about their families, pets, hobbies, and— above all—their spiritual well-being. Remember that while they serve others, they also travel the bumpy road called life. Doing so does not take a lot of time out of the day; and it affirms their personhood, helping them to realize that they are more than an employee or volunteer. They actually do mean something to you.

4. Be generous when you say Thank you. Our human natures long for affirmation. And while, for some, a public vote of confidence may stroke their ego, it should not prevent the speaker from acknowledging a job well done. Of course, there are also some who would continue to serve God and others because they gain a personal and sincere joy from doing so. Nevertheless, be proactive from the pulpit. While passing someone in the hallway, let them know that you are grateful for what they recently did. When you express gratitude to your colleagues for a job well done, it lets them know that their labors are not in vain.

5. Do something tangible to say Thank you. Some churches give gifts to their pastors during Clergy Appreciation Month and at other times during the year. But what do pastors and other ministers do to say Thank you to their partners in ministry?

The possibilities are limitless and should be tailored to the size of the entity—be it a congregation of volunteers or a conference office with paid staff. Finances have to be considered, especially in smaller, poorer churches. But it may be possible to print high-quality certificates signed by the pastor. Whether the team numbers are just a few, or a larger team exists (and the organization has the financial resources), a special meal at a special restaurant is another option. Again, the possibilities extend as far the imagination can reach.

A word of caution: If a meal, served at the church is the method of saying thanks, then find people other than those who normally prepare the meals to do so. They are colleagues in ministry too; providing a vital outreach that blesses the congregation and those who visit the church.

6. Do not single out certain individuals to the exclusion of others. Doing so can create an aura of favoritism. So often pastoral leadership can place the focus on elders, deacons, deaconesses, and other more visible servants, and unintentionally overlook those who work behind the scenes.

While I was conducting an evangelistic series in Côte d’Ivoire in 2002, my wife called to inform me that our daughter was ill. When I came to the auditorium that evening to prepare to preach, several members of the prayer team noticed I was downcast. After explaining why, they assured me that they would also pray for her.

The next day I called home and learned that my daughter had markedly improved. When I inquired as to when she started improving, the time my wife mentioned was, to the hour, the same time those prayer ministers started their nightly prayer session!

Few observe the behind-the-scenes ministry of a prayer team. But they are undoubtedly as critical an element to the success of the pastor as anyone whose labors are visible.

7. Volunteer in their ministries. Such a suggestion runs counter to what many have written and taught. Delegate is the buzzword, the mantra of true and effective leadership. Indeed, pastors cannot do it alone—nor should they. But how eye-opening it would be to spend time in the classroom of a church school teacher, reading to the students! What a learning experience it would be to spend time at the campsite of the Pathfinders on a cold, wintry night, gathering wood for the fire, if only for a few hours. Or spend time in the classrooms of the children. Their eyes will light up when they see the pastor cared enough to spend time with them. More than that, the teachers will feel your care and concern that you spent time with the little lambs of God’s flock.

8. Inquire about their jobs or whatever they do (if retired or in college). This differs from an earlier point in this article in that so often we can forget that what volunteers do for the church is their second job. They have worked long hours during the week to provide for themselves and their families, studying for school, or pursuing other worthwhile interests.

Ministry can become a cocoon over time: locked away in Bible study and sermon preparation, attending to administrative matters, and, yes, editing manuscripts. Our partners in ministry are often exposed—on their jobs, in their classrooms, and otherwise—to more issues in a pluralistic society than those to which we are ordinarily exposed. Inquiring broadens our thinking, deepens our sensitivity to what they daily experience, and lets them know we are genuinely interested in their lives away from a church setting.

9. Remember that they have families. By families I obviously do not imply that they are married with children, nor do I imply that those who have never married have nothing to do but care for themselves. An informal poll of our partners in ministry would reveal that most of them either do care or have cared for children, ailing parents, or grandparents. And the responsibilities go on.

Showing sensitivity to their needs—it matters not whether they are paid or volunteer workers—is an effective way to say Thank you, to show that you care.

10. Remember that partners in ministry, especially volunteers, are primarily answerable to God. While in a real sense they report to the pastor, they ultimately give account to the Good Shepherd. While they are by no means slaves, they faithfully follow the admonition of Paul, fulfilling ministry with all their heart, “as working for the Lord, not for men. . . . It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Col. 3:23, 24, NIV).

Conclusion

Let us always remember that we do not express appreciation so that we will get more service out of our colleagues. The truth is, they will expend greater efforts on their own when they feel genuinely appreciated. No prompting is needed on our part.

So why not plan a special program to say Thank you? In fact, why not implement that attitude of gratitude 365 days a year?