We have always understood, and rightly applied, Ellen White’s words to the church: “A revival and a reformation must take place, under the ministration of the Holy Spirit.”1 Some time ago, however, we saw a secondary application to this description of the reformation that must take place. She wrote, “Reformation signifies a reorganization, a change in ideas and theories, habits and practices.”2 While this applies to the church, and to church members individually, we also see a specific application to marriages, particularly in marriages that are going through some challenges, maybe even on the brink of a breakup.
In their book The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially, psychologists Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher note that 86 percent of the married people who rated their marriages as unhappy, but who chose to stay together, rated the marriage as having improved within five years.3 However, it is not enough to simply stay in a marriage relationship, especially if it is not satisfying or even healthy. These couples were intentional about making positive changes in their relationship. We could say that they experienced a reformation in their relationship; that is, they went through a “reorganization, a change in ideas and theories, habits and practices.”
One of the most wonderful blessings of a lifetime marital relationship is that we never stop growing. Ellen White referred to that when she wrote, “To gain a proper understanding of the marriage relation is the work of a lifetime. Those who marry enter a school from which they are never in this life to be graduated.”4 Total commitment to your marriage means a lifetime of growing in love, experience, and closeness.
1 Ellen G. White, “The Need of a Revival and Reformation,” Review and Herald, February 25, 1902.
2 Ellen G. White, Selected Messages, bk. 1 (Washington, DC: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 1958), 128.
3 L. J. Waite and M. Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially (New York: Broadway Books, 2000), 148.
4 Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home (Hagerstown, MD: Review and Herald Pub. Assn., 1980), 105.
—Claudio, DMin, and Pamela, PhD, Consuegra serve as director and associate director, respectively, for Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists, Silver Spring, Maryland, United States.
