When you are running on empty and looking for the nearest exit

Do you sometimes feel as if you are living in a dry spiritual wilderness and wonder why God does not seem to be answering your prayers? Are you finding yourself overwhelmed with the responsibilities and challenges of ministry at times? Perhaps you feel as if you are running on empty and need to take the nearest exit.

Years ago I found myself in a dry, desolate season. I was a busy ministry leader but overwhelmed by weariness and on the edge of burnout. Worst of all I felt abandoned by God. Since many people looked up to me, I didn’t know where to turn. So I put on a mask to hide my pain while deep inside I was dying.

The more time went on, the more distant and disconnected I felt from God. It did not seem as if He cared or was paying attention to my prayers, so over time I prayed less and less. “What’s the point of praying if He’s just going to do whatever He’s going to do anyway?” I wondered.

As deep depression overwhelmed me, I struggled to hold on to my faith. I was tired and discouraged, and my joy in service was gone. But God did not give up on me during those dark months, even though I temporarily gave up on Him.

Hope

I still remember one of my darkest days and how God tenderly showed me His great love. I had gone for a long walk in the rain without an umbrella. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was soaked, but I did not care. I felt hopeless and wanted to give up. I knew I did not deserve God’s grace and mercy.

“God, do You still have a plan for me? Can You still do something beautiful in my life?” I silently cried.

As I prayed that brief prayer, the first real prayer I had prayed in some time, the dark clouds above me parted. Sunshine streamed down all around me in a large, warm circle of love. I stopped and looked up in awe.

“Does that mean yes?” I asked God as a glimmer of hope began to take root. Just then the promise of Hebrews 10:35 came to mind: “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward” (KJV).

“Melody,” I heard God’s gentle voice whispering, “if you give up now, you’ll never know what beautiful plans I have in store for your life and ministry. Don’t you want to see what I have prepared for you in the years ahead?”

God’s question startled me. I knew it was Him speaking. I wept fresh tears as I realized that He had not forsaken me. He still had something good planned for my life. Despite my spiritual failures, despite my complete burnout, my story was not over, and He was about to turn my life around in a way that I could not imagine.¹

The story is not over

Whether you are serving God as a pastor, ministry leader, or lay member, or even if you have not been serving Him at all, your story is not over either. No matter what you are going through, He is still by your side. You can hide your discouragement and burnout from the world, but not from God. He sees you on the inside. He sees your failures and yet still loves you with an enduring love. You cannot do anything to make Him love you more or to make Him love you less. He loves you as you are with a love that cannot be shaken, and He wants to do something beautiful in your life, even amid life’s fiercest storms, even amid our finite brokenness.

Second Corinthians 4:7–10 reads: “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body” (NKJV). The good news is that God does not leave the vessels as He finds them. In fact it is in the dying process, the death of all that we thought we were, that God begins to teach us how to truly live.

John 12:24 tells us, “ ‘Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain’ ” (NKJV). Of course the experiences of dying are not easy. They are not fun, but they can be the gateway to even more abundant life and fruitfulness.

God came to save sinners like us (Luke 5:32). We do not need to be spiritual superheroes to enter the kingdom or to be used by Him. But we do need to recognize our spiritual need. “Our only claim to His mercy is our great need.”²

Though God is not impressed by status, titles, achievements, or well-written sermons, He is drawn to the heart that hungers, leans on Him, and feels its desperate need. He does not desire that we become famous. He just wants us to be faithful in the inward parts, in the heart. In fact our heart and inner private life with God determine the ministry that we can have in public. So do not get swept up in men’s applause. Live for the applause of heaven.

Author Ellen White writes, “We shall often have to bow down to weep at the feet of Jesus, because of our shortcomings and mistakes; but we are not to be discouraged. . . . As we distrust our own power, we shall trust the power of our Redeemer.”³

Victorious living

Put away the façades. It is time to be real with ourselves, others, and God. Renowned author Norman Grubb highlights what for many is the impediment to a victorious Christian life:

All Christian relationships are two-way, not one-way. They are horizontal as well as vertical. . . .

We cannot, for instance, say that we have become righteous before God through faith in Christ and yet continue unrighteous among men. . . .

. . . Let me put it this way. We can liken a man to a house. It has a roof and walls. So also man in his fallen state has a roof on top of his sins, coming between him and God; and he also has walls up, between him and his neighbor. But at salvation, when broken at the cross, not only does the roof come off through faith in Christ, but the walls fall down flat, and the man’s true condition as a sinner-saved-by-grace is confessed before all men.

Unfortunately, the trouble soon begins again after conversion—and here lies the basic hindrance to continued revival. Continued revival is continued brokenness; but brokenness is two-way, and that means walls [must be] kept down as well as roof off. But man’s most deep-rooted and subtle sin is the subtle sin of pride: self-esteem and self-respect. Though hardly realizing it, while we are careful to keep the roof off between ourselves and God through repentance and faith, we soon let those walls of respectability creep up again between ourselves and our brethren. We don’t mind our brethren knowing about the success we have in our Christian living. If we win a soul, if we lead a class, if we have a prayer answered, if we get good ideas from Scriptures—we don’t mind if they hear about these things, because we get a little reflected credit because of them. . . .

[But] If God has to deal with us over our impatience or temper in the home, over dishonesty in our business, over coldness or some other sin, by no means do we easily bear testimony to our brethren of God’s faithful and gracious dealings in such areas of failure. Why not? Just because of pride. . . . The fact is, we love the praise of men as well as of God, and that is exactly what the Scriptures say stops the flow of confession before men (John 12:42-43).⁴

Daily habits

I suppose most of us like hearing good things said about us. But perhaps you worry too much about what others think. Or maybe you do not care. Or you are so spiritually burned out that you do not have the strength to go on. Take courage! God is not done writing your story. He wants to bring you back to your “first love.” He wants to fill your cup to overflowing. He will do this by bringing you back to the altar of genuine, undistracted, unrushed worship.

Here are some daily habits that breathe life into my walk with Jesus. They might do the same for you:

Claim the promise of Isaiah 50:4. Allow Jesus to be your alarm clock. Ask Him to wake you up each morning when He wants to meet with you. Do not be surprised if it is earlier than your usual wake-up time, for He has much He is longing to share with you.

Do not try to be in the right mood before you start devotions—just come to Jesus as the needy sinner you are.

Ask Him to help you open His Word with anticipation and joy, as one looking for hidden treasure. The Bible is a great treasure chest, and Jesus is our treasure.

Before worrying about preparing another sermon, allow Jesus to feed your heart and soul. Allow yourself to have unrushed, undistracted, meaningful time with Him.

Listen to what He tells you in His Word and be willing to obey. Surrender all you are and have, your plans, daily agenda, attitude, and even your electronics to His control.

Ask Him to give you a fresh baptism of the Holy Spirit so that His love, joy, and peace will overflow your life, family, and ministry.

Last but not least, ask Jesus how you can love your family more sacrificially. Ask Him whom He wants you to mentor and disciple for His kingdom.

God loves to fill empty vessels for His glory. He loves to breathe fresh life into dry, barren wildernesses. He loves to transform our “exits” into new pathways of hope.

God has called you to serve for such a time as this, but you cannot give to others what you do not have. You must stay connected to Jesus. You must be daily baptized by the Holy Spirit through unrushed, undistracted time with God in His Word and prayer. This is your key to spiritual power and staying filled and overflowing. Believe me, having been spiritually burned out, bummed out, and dried up—I know.