The Minister's Wife!
I congratulate you! You don't need me to tell you how fortunate you are in securing the love of the man with whom you have pledged lifelong companionship.
What hopes and expectations you have! What adventures and experiences are before you? The one state you will probably never know is boredom—hard work, aplenty; lonely days, many; uncertainty and anxiety, a full share; near hardship, surely; but boredom, never!
You are joined to so many things when your life is linked with that of a man called to the ministry. You are not your own, and you are not his. You belong to the church, to the field, even as he does. Will you be true in your opinion? Will you be utterly true to your help meet? It takes more than a fleeting vow to maintain that state of being true.
Your husband may take courses of action that seem against your better judgment. Can you be true in upholding him when he does? And if your better judgment turns out indeed to be better, can you be true to him by not persisting in "rubbing it in" ? Will you be true to him when discouragement comes, when souls are indeed "hardly lost and won"? Can you help him keep his eye on the work of sowing faithfully, helping him to leave with the Lord of the harvest the sending of reapers when the time is ripe?
Will you be true to him in success, not allowing a surfeit of praise to keep him unduly elated, so that his fall to normal planes will not shock him? Will you praise him when he deserves praise, and not let your enthusiasm to be his best critic lead him to look elsewhere for the praise and encouragement he needs?
Will you be true to the flock? Will you serve without wearing a halo that is almost visible with, "Please notice my good influence, abounding cheerfulness, and constant helpfulness"? Will you be willing to forgo praise that may be due you, and be glad that, at any rate, it was given to your husband? Will you be true in helping where your help is needed, and not where it is not? Maybe you can speak more fluently, play more correctly, sing more appealingly than others; but will you be true to your church members in taking a seat at the rear, and encouraging the flock to develop their talents?
Will you be true in keeping confidences? Much will come directly and indirectly to your ears. Can it be known that confidential matters never get past you?
Will you be true on the battlefront of evangelism? When the enemy of souls is putting every barrier in the way, will you be true in keeping a firm courage and a light heart, and in inspiring these same attributes in your husband and in his associates? Will you be true to those who labors with you, letting them know that you are there to help them too?
Will you be true in the home? Or will the irregular hours, the long and almost unceasing calls, and the callers who do not know when to leave irritate and annoy you? Will you be happy wherever you make your abode—in a cramped apartment, or in an oversize house? Will you be cheerful always, maintaining an equable disposition? Will you be a guide and a friend to your children, a wise counselor to your husband, a gracious hostess to all who come to your home, a faithful steward of the talents entrusted to you?
If you can, you will be an ideal minister's wife.
The Minister's Wife's Husband
She has said yes, and you scarcely know how to keep the exhilaration within you from bubbling over all the time. How fortunate you are, for I am sure she has heard the same voice call her as you heard calling you. You will have such joy as you work together—yes, for the moment you cease to work unitedly, your joy begins to diminish.
Will you be true to her? She wants so much to be a true helpmeet to you. You will let her, won't you ? Nothing will bring her more happiness—no, not a box of candy or orchids, or the gift she has long coveted—than knowing that she is working with you. But you will not merely allocate her some jobs that are too troublesome for you. Of course, she will be willing to share these routine, not-so-interesting chores that we all need to do, but will you not let her share in the more challenging tasks as well?
You will see that her own training and talents supplement the things you do. And you will not laugh as she waxes enthusiastic over her collection of sacred verse or her flannel- graph pictures or her chalk talks or whatever her particular interest may be. You are a team, the two of you, and so much more can be accomplished as you develop your talents and work together.
Will you share with her the praise that comes to you? She has perhaps worked with you far into the night to finish the job that had to be done. Will you go home and say, "They were so pleased with what we did. I could never have done it without your help"?
Will you be true when greater responsibilities are added with your increasing years, when workers are added to your company? Perhaps they are specialists, and they do excellent work. Will you let her feel she is still your partner? Will the words, "I don't know what I'd do without you," still sound from your lips?
And when, and if, your home is brightened with the laughter and the mischief of little children, will you take your share of caring for them? Will you read the longing she has to be with you as she was before the new responsibilities increased the burdens of your home?
Will you share with her the joys and triumphs, the perplexities and the difficulties, and still pray with her for the souls whose welfare is your great concern? Will you take your turn sometimes in staying at home, so that she can go out with the Ingathering band, or call on the sick and elderly; or help at the Missionary Volunteer meeting? Will you show that you love to have her go visiting with you, and-let her share in the conversation? Will you arrange for someone to take over at home when there is something special to attend, and will you squeeze her hand as you go home, and say, "I am so glad you could come with me tonight"?
And you will, won't you, be loyal to her on the rostrum? It may be that your homiletic mind could make some good use of a little incident that occurred in the home. Perhaps she will not mind if it illustrates a point in your sermon, but perhaps she will! You will not embarrass her, will you?
Perhaps the most well-known of ministers' wives among us since the beginning of our movement, one who lived and worked in close partnership with the pioneer leader of our work, counsels those who have just taken on the responsibilities of married life thus:
"Make Christ first, and last, and best in everything. Constantly behold Him, and your love for Him will daily become deeper and stronger as it is submitted to the test of trial. And as your love for Him increases, your love for each other will grow deeper and stronger. ...
"Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. . . .
"Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words; for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christlikeness."—Testimonies, vol. 7, pp. 46, 47.
