THIS young preacher's first funeral was comparable, as far as expenditure of nervous energy was concerned, to the budding pianist's first recital or the neophyte doctor's first appendectomy.
When the telephone rang that night and the solemn voice announced the death of one of my members I was truly and duly-stunned. A nameless fear seized me. After I hung up, a period of bewilderment and numbness a bit similar to rigor mortis set in. Eventually a search for information relative to what should be done under these circumstances was started. Our Minister's Manual was helpful, but not too detailed. What I knew about conducting a funeral from college training days could be written on the head of a pin! Andrew Blackwood's book on the subject suddenly took on a new dimension of importance. After hasty preparation I finally made a leap of action something like a delayed parachute jump ending in a rough landing.
The Lord was gracious to me in spite of my lack of specialized knowledge in this area. I am sure my "greenness" was apparent, but the service went off quite smoothly and seemed to be effective.
Death and Respect
During the years, I have learned that the need and respect for a minister is never greater than at the time of a member's death. Even the skeptic sits and stands in dumb silence listening to the Word of God. After all, what better hope could he give?
Once a member of mine died whose husband was an ardent infidel. As soon as the news of her death reached me, I immediately called on him. Surely, I thought, this experience would soften his attitude toward God and His church. But his hardness of heart was evident when he demanded that I make the whole service five minutes or less in length!
Just before leaving, my offer to pray with him was decidedly rejected. That funeral was the most difficult one I ever conducted. Yet, even though this husband was unpersuaded, there was evidence that he was favorably influenced. If properly conducted, a funeral provides a tremendous opportunity for a minister to reach persons who otherwise are far out of reach.
Get Attached to the Living and Dying
One strong lesson impressed upon me by experience is that if a sick parishioner is headed for death and you know it, not only do frequent short visits bring comfort to the dying one but a strong bond of affection is created between you and the relatives. A pastor can and should endear him self to the entire family during these dark, foreboding days. More than one non-Adventist funeral has come my way simply because of my concern in ministry to their dying Adventist loved one.
Another great advantage of constant ministry to a dying person is the avoidance, during the funeral sermon, of the offensive words "I was not too well acquainted with this person, but others have said that he ..." Get attached to both the dying and his relatives before the funeral.
If death comes suddenly, a minister should call on the bereaved as soon as possible. Keep uppermost in your mind that the family's desires are always supreme. Tactfully make it clear that if they desire a former pastor who may live nearby to lead out or assist in the service, you will be more than happy to contact him for them. Pettiness or jealousy is unforgivable under any circumstances, but at this critical moment it is doubly unforgivable.
Attractive Caskets
There are times when the family will request your aid in selecting a casket. Luxurious caskets are an unwarranted expense, especially for an Adventist. Less ex pensive caskets are usually about as attractive, if there is such a thing as an attractive casket. The late President Eisenhower in planning his funeral surely set a good example for Christians in that he was buried in an $80 GI casket. The prophet's comment on Aaron's death and burial is most significant:
"In what striking contrast to the customs of the present day was this burial, conducted according to the express command of God. In modern times the funeral services of a man of high position are often made an occasion of ostentatious and extravagant display. . . . God is not honored in the great display so often made over the dead, and the extravagant expense incurred in returning their bodies to the dust."--Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 427.
What About Funeral Fees?
When it comes to money, I personally feel the minister is a lot richer in the long run if he either refuses a gift of appreciation or returns to the family any fees paid him by the mortician. Naturally, those honorariums given by the establishment are added on to the bill and come directly from the pockets of the mourning husband, wife, or family. If a family insists on paying let them know it will go for a church project. Your stock will take a decided gain!
I heard of one case where three of our men conducted the funeral of a well-known pioneer missionary. The mortician paid a fee to each preacher and included it in his charges. Not one of the men returned the fee. It isn't so much the money as the principle behind it. Here is a couple who gave their life blood getting mission work started in a certain area of the world. The husband finally falls into the clutches of death, and the wife gets charged for the services of three ministers. The thought hurts, doesn't it?
Why should a minister accept an honorarium especially from one of his own parishioners in cases of sickness and death? This acceptance in a sense amounts to charging them for services that are the privilege and duty inherent in a preacher's calling. Beware, fellow ministers, that you do not feed the natural covetous spirit that plagues us all.
When it comes to the funeral message, to preach an evangelistic sermon on the state of the dead is out of place. Yet, tenderly to weave in the principle of death as a sleep until the glorious resurrection of Christ's return is surely in order. Even our evangelistic sermons on this subject should be overflowing with compassion and sympathy.
Death at Sea
A few years ago I was conducting an evangelistic effort in a seaport in one of our overseas fields. My subject was "Man's State in Death." About five minutes be fore walking onto the platform, my head receptionist came rushing in with the news that one of our American Adventists was on a world tour. Since her ship stopped at this port for several days, she decided to attend our meetings. The startling part was that she had brought to the meeting that night a non-Adventist traveling companion whose husband died on board ship. Since embalming was not practiced in the area where he died, and rather than go to the expense and trouble of air-freighting his body back to the States, she decided to have it put in the ship's cold storage locker. Thus, husband and wife together, one dead and the other alive, would return home.
After hearing this pitiful story, I immediately sensed that some thoughts incorporated in my state-of-the-dead sermon were totally unfit for presentation that evening, or any other evening! For the first time in my life I began searching my own soul as to my soul-winning motivations. In my sermons was I trying to prove a point or was I really concerned over sharing my faith in order to help lift the burden of sin and ignorance from people's lives? Was I merely trying to make a record for my self in getting people to join the church or was I earnestly and sincerely attempting to bring people to an understanding that Christ is all in all?
That night I didn't have time to rebuild my sermon. The audience was waiting to hear the subject advertised. I prayed for wisdom and tact to present a message that would comfort, encourage, and impress the hearers in favor of truth.
Hit on the Head Until Dead
I left out illustrations such as this: If you hit a man on the head with a hammer and knock him unconscious he knows nothing. But according to popular opinion, if you hit him a little harder until he is dead, then he knows everything in heaven or hell! This may be a good story, but how crude and cruel it must sound to those who have recently lost loved ones.
To lift up Christ as our hope and our life is what moves people toward God. The funeral sermon and the evangelistic sermon on death are golden opportunities to present Christ as the only hope for the dying human race.
After a funeral a faithful visiting program to the bereaved family is in order. Don't drop the attention. Let the church elders, deacons, and deaconesses have part in this.
Effective ministry in this area of funerals can do much more than we realize in gaining new converts to Jesus Christ.
