PRESENT use of the word counselor generally involves a relationship between two people in which one of them is endeavoring to help the other to understand and find his way through adjustment problems. Dictionary definitions generally stress advice-giving and mental-exchange ideas.
At the time when Ellen G. White produced the many volumes accredited to her, the science of psychology was yet in its infancy, largely unknown. The meaning of the word counselor as it is used in professional terminology today was not known then.
However, in her writings Ellen White does make reference to counselors in regard to their personal qualifications and attitudes toward their work. It would seem that in most of these cases she was referring to the advice-giving facet of the word. However, at times her applications of the word could be made to modern-day counselors.
Mrs. White does have a great deal to say about the personal characteristics and general attitudes of those who deal with the minds of others: physicians, ministers, teachers, parents, administrators, and other workers for God. In all of these cases she specifically mentions that their work involves dealing with the minds of others, in addition to whatever technical aspects the work might have.
The physician is to work as a "healer of bodily infirmities" and as a "physician of the souls for whom Christ died" (Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 248). He should give as much physical relief as possible and should also relieve the "burdened soul"; if he is to work as the guardian of the health of the body, he should also have the tact necessary to work for the salvation of the soul (Medical Ministry, p. 31). Teachers are to do more than merely instruct from books. They are to mold the mind and character of their students (Counsels to Teachers, p. 65). The minister's work is defined as taking care of people right where they are, whatever their position, whatever their condition, and helping them in every way possible (Medical Ministry, p. 238). Parents have the responsibility of preparing their children for a place of usefulness in this world and also preparing them for eternal life (Temperance, p. 270).
Though the inexperienced do need wise counselors and guidance when in difficulty, the responsibility of rightly using his influence rests heavily on the counselor for "the influence of mind on mind, so strong a power for good when sanctified, is equally strong for evil in the hands of those opposed to God" (The SDA Bible Commentary, Ellen G. White Comments, on Rev. 12:7, p. 973). This work is not to be undertaken lightly because "dealing with human minds is the most delicate work ever entrusted to mortals" (Counsels to Parents and Teachers, p. 264).
Talent Must Be Developed
God requires a faithful accounting of the gifts entrusted to men. The possession of a gift for counseling is not enough; God requires a faithful stewardship of that talent, study to improve its use, and a growing understanding of the laws of the mind. This is basic to any attempt to help others. "In order to lead souls to Jesus there must be a knowledge of human nature and a study of the human mind" (Testimonies, vol. 4, p. 67).
Counselors must study "character and manner" in order that they "may know how to deal judiciously with different minds" (Testimonies, vol. 4, p. 69). Often teachers and parents do not realize the importance of this study. "There are very few who realize the most essential wants of the mind, and how to direct the developing intellect, the growing thoughts and feelings of youth." --Review and Herald, July 14, 1885.
In the work of the counselor, Jesus is grieved to see "such a want ... of wisdom to reach human hearts and enter into the feelings of others" (Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 420).
Love Is Necessary Qualification
After a knowledge of the laws of the mind, Christian love is perhaps mentioned the most as a necessary qualification for those who would help others. This is not a sentimental love, but love as a principle and a result of the work of Cod. Only those individuals who possess this kind of love can project a genuine helping relationship to others.
"Only the love that flows from the heart of Christ can heal. Only he in whom that love flows, even as the sap in the tree or as the blood in the body, can restore the wounded soul." --Education, p. 114.
"The love of Christ, manifested in word and act, will win its way to the soul, when the reiteration of precept or argument would accomplish nothing." --The Ministry of Healing, pp. 163, 164.
Christian love manifested in the words and actions of the counselor helps the person in need to feel accepted; that love shows itself in genuine concern for the counselee and opens the way for a relationship that can provide a channel through which the love of Christ can flow to the one in need.
Tact and Courtesy Essential
Since dealing with people's minds is indeed difficult work, the counselor is admonished to use "the most delicate tact, the finest susceptibility" (Education, p. 292), "gentleness" (Testimonies, vol. 4, p. 546), "courtesy, delicacy, and politeness" (Medical Ministry, p. 149).
"The work that bears the divine credentials is that which manifests the spirit of Jesus, which reveals His love, His carefulness, His tenderness in dealing with the minds of men."--Testimonies to Ministers, p. 184.
There will be many annoyances when dealing with people. The medical workers and counselors will oftentimes be strongly tempted to use harsh tones and mannerisms with their patients and clients. These methods will not bring the best results. The counsels given to physicians can be applied to all: "There will ever be things arising to annoy, perplex, and try the patience of physicians and helpers. They must be prepared for this, and not become excited or unbalanced. They must be calm and kind, what ever may occur. . . . They should ever consider that they are dealing with men and women of diseased minds, who frequently view things in a perverted light, and yet are confident that they understand matters perfectly." --Counsels on Health, p. 350.
The counselor can greatly aid the healing relationship by showing a kind, considerate, and patient manner toward those in distress. "Under the influence of meekness, kindness, and gentleness, an atmosphere is created that will heal and not destroy." --My Life Today, p. 152.
Dealing With Different Backgrounds
The counselor be he minister, physician, or teacher will come in contact with varied mind sets. Sometimes these backgrounds are difficult to understand; their reactions are not what one would anticipate. The counselor must exercise patience and wise understanding in order to deal effectively with the different backgrounds he will encounter.
"They [ministers] should be patient and wise in dealing with minds, remembering how manifold are the circumstances that have developed such different traits in individuals." --Gospel Workers, p. 381.
The counselor will find it much easier to be patient and gentle if he is wise in the care of his health. Poor health habits are detrimental to the work he is trying to do for others.
"If we are sad and depressed, and in trouble, you could, if in a right condition of health, have a clear brain to show us the way out and speak a comforting word to us. But if your brain is so benumbed by your wrong course of living that you cannot give us the right counsel, do we not meet with a loss?" --Testimonies, vol. 2, pp. 356, 357.
"The imprudent eater does not realize that he is disqualifying himself for giving wise counsel, disqualifying himself for laying plans for the best advancement of the work of God. . . . Impatient words are spoken and unkind deeds are done, dishonest practices are followed and passion is manifested, and all because the nerves of the brain are diseased by the abuse heaped upon the stomach." --Counsels on Diet and Foods, p. 53.
The counselor is in a position where his actions are often taken as models by those he is trying to help. Although he does not try to cultivate this, it naturally evolves when he is working with young people. They need good models at that period in their life. The counselor who is aware of this tendency will endeavor to present the best model possible to those students around him.
"Those who undertake this work should possess well-balanced, symmetrical characters. They should be refined in manner, neat in dress, careful in all their habits; and they should have that true Christian courtesy that wins confidence and respect. The teacher should be himself what he wishes his students to become." --Counsels to Parents and Teachers, p. 65.
"When a crisis comes in the life of any soul, and you attempt to give counsel or admonition, your words will have only the weight of influence for good that your own example and spirit have gained for you. You must faegood before you can do good. You cannot exert an influence that will transform others until your own heart has been humbled and refined and made tender by the grace of Christ. When this change has been wrought in you, it will be as natural for you to live to bless others as it is for the rosebush to yield its fragrant bloom or the vine its purple clusters." --Thoughts From the Mount of Blessing, pp. 127, 128.
Be Divested of Self
So long as the counselor is full of self he will find it difficult to help others with their problems. He must become humble through the realization of his own inadequacies before he can begin to help others. "Every worker who deals with souls successfully must come to the work divested of self." --Testimonies to Ministers, p. 168.
The realization of his own inadequacies does not, of course, excuse a lack of effort toward self-improvement. The counselor should become all that it is possible for him to be through the grace of Christ.
"To know oneself is a great knowledge. . . . Self-knowledge leads to humility, and to trust in God; but it does not take the place of efforts for self-improvement. He who realizes his own deficiencies will spare no pains to reach the highest possible standard of physical, mental, and moral excellence. No one should have a part in the training of youth who is satisfied with a lower standard." --Counsels to Parents and Teachers, p. 67.
Sound Judgment
Patience, understanding, love, sympathy, kindness, and tact are all qualities the counselor should possess. However, they do not take the place of the sound judgment that comes about through experience, maturity, and a walk with the Lord.
Such a counselor will depend heavily on the Lord for his strength. He will be a person of prayer. "Those in the position of counselors should be men of prayer . . . who will not dare to rely on their own human wisdom" (Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 561).
"Neglect of prayer leads men to rely on their own strength, and opens the door to temptation. In many cases the imagination is captivated by scientific research, and men are flattered through the consciousness of their own powers. The sciences which treat of the human mind are very much exalted. They are good in their place; but they are seized upon by Satan as his powerful agents to deceive and destroy souls. His arts are accepted as from heaven, and he thus receives the worship which suits him well." --Selected Messages, book 2, p. 352.
After all, there "is no power in any man to remedy the defective character" (Testimonies, vol. 9, p. 280). The power comes through Christ, not the human agent.
Although the counselor many times will not be aware of the extent of his influence, he can and does have an unconscious influence for good on those who surround him. Encouragement will shine through him to others.
The Christian counselor is willing to "work and watch and wait" (Education, p. 292) because he has "the resources of heaven and earth at his command, and he can work with a wisdom, an unerring precision, that the godless man cannot possess" (Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 448).
