The minister's wife holds a very important place in relation to her husband's work. She should be all that the word "helpmeet" implies—whether it be in the home or in aggressive soul-winning endeavor. If she senses her responsibility, and prepares herself to meet the demands, she may do a work almost equal in importance to his. But if she lives an aimless, selfish life, she may counteract much of the good he seeks to do, or may well-nigh neutralize his influence.
More is expected of a minister's wife than of other wives, and rightly so. The way she cooks and keeps house, her dress and conversation, her part in church activities, and her method of doing the everyday things that go to make up life, are critically noticed by others. In these days when so many are lowering the standards, a minister's wife may do much by precept and example to stem the tide of worldliness in the church. Our unconscious influence counts either for Christ or against Him.
A sister came to me on the campground last year and said, "Pardon me, aren't you a minister's wife?" I said yes, and then she proceeded to tell me why she had thought so. I felt a sense of responsibility, and a thrill of satisfaction that I had not disappointed her.
A minister's wife should have a genuine interest in her husband's work—an interest born of deep consecration and a love for souls. This interest will manifest itself in various ways. First of all, it finds expression in a well-ordered, happy home. It takes a fine sense of relative values to properly combine beauty, simplicity, economy, self-denial, comfort, and appropriateness in furnishing a home. The solution must be left with each individual homemaker, never forgetting that the wisest policy is always to live within one's income.
There should be order and regularity in the home. Good, wholesome meals served at definite times, with regular hours for retiring and rising, will do much to bring into the daily program that rhythm of activity that will mean not only physical fitness, but definite accomplishment. Of course there are times when strict regularity in eating and sleeping may be interrupted, through no fault of the homemaker or her husband. A minister's life is full of those unexpected things that may at times bring overtaxation or loss of sleep and appetite. When the rhythm of the daily program is broken, it should be restored as soon as possible. Most efficient work is accomplished only when health is at its best.
The thoughtful wife sees that her husband's hours of study and devotion are not needlessly interrupted by phone calls, doorbells, errands, and such small matters as can wait. She keeps an eye on the family wardrobe, and sees that clothes are kept clean and mended. A missing button may become a great annoyance when time is precious. Well-pressed clothes and spotless linen lend their influence quietly but surely to the message we bear.
The Qualities That Win
A minister's wife needs to be a largehearted, sympathetic woman who knows how to apply the balm of Gilead to sin-sick souls and aching hearts. Her presence should not attract to self, but to Christ. She must know how to guard confidences, and she should never indulge in needless criticism. A happy disposition, an optimistic outlook, and faith in God have an irresistible influence for good. As she mingles with others in church activities, she may help them to catch a vision of greater possibilities and higher ideals in Christian service. She will be quick to see the weak spots in the church, and she will lend her influence to strengthen them. In order to do this, the necessity of being a Dorcas Leader or a cooking-school teacher may be thrust upon her. She may have the privilege of teaching the most troublesome class in the Sabbath school, or of lifting a banner that is trailing in the dust, when others declare, "It just can't be done here."
When it comes to pastoral visiting, or calling on those newly interested in the faith, the wife may often accompany her husband. This is not always necessary, but it is sometimes desirable, depending, of course, on the circumstances and the nature of the call. It can never be a mistake for her to go when a woman whose husband is an unbeliever is to be interviewed, as it prevents idle remarks or possible gossip that might hurt the minister's influence. Her presence should always have an influence that gathers for Christ.
She should always remember that the manner in which she dresses has an influence. Much is said in the Spirit of prophecy about this. Fads and extremes should be avoided; modesty, neatness, and appropriateness should characterize the dress of those who stand as leaders. It is sometimes a great advantage to be able to sew and make one's own clothes. Above all, she should steer clear of that unnecessary outward adorning that is condemned in the word of God. Several years ago a minister and his wife visited a church in which I was working. She wore a bead necklace. People in that small church were very strict about such things, and naturally her necklace produced more comment than the minister's sermons. Of course, it might be said that our people should not be so critical. But do they not have a right to expect a minister's wife to be above such criticism in matters of common understanding?
If a wife sings or plays an instrument, she may render valuable aid in public meetings. If she is a Bible worker, she can be a great asset. She should feel it a privilege to mingle with the people in friendly greetings after the service. In this way she may get a slant on some situations or problems that may aid greatly in winning souls to the truth. In our efforts to give God's last warning message, we meet mighty antagonistic forces, and we need the cooperation of heavenly intelligences. Realizing this, while her husband preaches and pleads with sinners, the minister's wife can lend her help by holding on to the arm of Omnipotence in silent prayer. She will also be alert to the opportunity to give that encouraging personal word that has helped many a soul to find Christ. Here is counsel from "Gospel Workers," for those who accompany their husbands in travel :
"If a minister's wife accompanies her husband in his travels, she should not go for her own special enjoyment, to visit and to he waited upon, but to labor with him. She should have a united interest with him to do good. She should be willing to accompany her husband, if home cares do not hinder, and she should aid him in his efforts to save souls. With meekness and humility, yet with a noble self-reliance, she should have a leading influence upon minds around her, and should act her part and bear her cross and burden in meeting, and around the family altar, and in conversation at the fireside. The people expect this, and they have a right to expect it. If these expectations are not realized, the husband's influence is more than half destroyed."—Page 201.
We are also told that those who must stay at home to care for the children may do as great and important a work as their husbands. They can greatly lighten his burdens by managing the household with economy and discretion, and training those under their care for lives of future usefulness. The minister's wife has a higher place than just being a helpmeet. Loyally she stands beside her companion with words of cheer and encouragement. With him she shares the honors and the trials. Together they sow beside all waters, sometimes in joy, sometimes in tears, looking forward to the glad reaping day when they will see the fruit of their toil in the kingdom.
