Recently the Gilbert Youth Research Company made inquiry of six hundred average teenagers concerning their views on marriage and divorce. Some very pointed questions were put to them. The response to this survey was illuminating. The report revealed that "most of them attach virtually no social stigma to divorce." Seventy-seven per cent of the youth said they would not "stick out an unhappy marriage just to avoid a divorce." Eighty per cent felt the children of a divorced couple could live a normal home life. One eighteen-year-old girl summarized what was apparently a representative attitude: "Happiness is the ultimate in life, so why be purposely unhappy?" The majority seemed to feel that "if the first marriage does not work out, I can try again." It was obvious that divorce did not seem too bad to them. There seemed to be a lightness and an indifference toward the whole subject.
Apparently no one had told these young people that divorce, with but one exception, is contrary to the will of God, or that a second marriage is more likely to end in failure than the first one, according to statistics. Somewhere along the way the home and the church had failed to teach them the definite principles of the Holy Scriptures concerning marriage.
It would be a sad day if such a revelation were to be found from a survey of Seventh-day Adventist youth. Such a thought should make us—the shepherds of the flock—ask, "Have we been faithful in our presentation of the will of the Lord in this matter, both publicly and privately?" We should remember that the sacredness of love in one marriage is a cardinal doctrine of the church.
A shadow falls over the lives of men and women who do not know happiness and affection in their homes. It often affects their Christian experience and service of love for God. A sermon on the happiness and love of a Christian home should have a prominent place in the yearly worship program. A minister cannot avoid responsibility in this matter. Tactful counsel may be presented clearly and positively to teenage youth long before they are ready to establish a home. More specific guidance will be needed for those considering sacred marriage vows, and constant vigilance by example and precept will bind the home ties so that they will never break.
There are many fine books that provide rich material for courtship and marriage counseling, such as: The Adventist Home and Child Guidance, Ellen G. White; Happiness for Husbands and Wives, Harold Shryock, M.D.; The Recovery of Family Life, Elton and Paul Trueblood, Harper and Bros., New York; Marriage Is What You Make It, Paul Popenoe, The Macmillan Company, New York; Marriage, Before and After, Paul Popenoe, Wilfred Funk, Inc., New York; Harmony in Marriage, Leland Foster, Round Table Press, New York; Conserving Marriage and the Family, Ernest R. Groves, The Macmillan Company, New York.
The book by E. R. Groves is considered one of the best works on this subject. It is a realistic discussion of the divorce problem. It is out of print, but can be found in almost any good library.
In the book The Ministry of Healing, by Ellen G. White, is a section on the home, consisting of seven chapters. If the words of counsel found in these chapters were taught, believed, and followed, the home would indeed be a little heaven on earth. Many homes could be saved if the following counsel were read and heeded:
Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue" the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys, of heaven.--The Ministry of Healing, p. 360.
A. C. F.
