HAVE you seen my daddy?" asked an earnest little four-year-old.
"I think he went to town," replied one of the two men carelessly.
"The last time I saw him," chimed in the other, "some fellows were locking him up in the basement." With a chuckle the two ministers continued on their way to the dining hall, apparently dismissing the little boy's anxiety as being none of their concern. Now no stretch of the imagination could lead one to think that those men had any wicked plan in mind or were bent on evil—not at all.
The little fellow, however, was too young to understand that they were joking. He was facing a very serious problem. He could not find his daddy, and he was hungry, and it was dinner time. What could he do? He was in a strange place with many strange faces around him. He felt so lonely and helpless. He did want to be brave, but where, oh, where was his daddy? At last he saw a familiar face. Here was a man he knew. He ran to him for comfort, but no help did he receive. His question was never answered; his perplexity was treated as a joke. His anxiety was greatly aggravated by their replies. One had said that his father had gone to town, and the other had declared that he was locked up in the basement. Both couldn't be right. Inasmuch as his daddy soon appeared unharmed, it proved that both ministers were wrong. Can he believe the next sermon they preached? Can he have confidence to go to them the next time he is in trouble? Are all preachers like them? If a child cannot believe a minister, whom can he believe?
Teasing can be used in such a way that it adds spice and interest to life, or it can be used to bring doubts, fears, and even terror to the hearts of children. One little lad thought his father was the grandest man on earth, and didn't care who knew it. A visiting minister, greatly amused at the child's exaggerated opinion of his father, began teasing him by saying, "Your daddy is no good." After a few exchanges of "Yes, he is," with "No, he isn't," the conversation drifted to other subjects and was promptly forgotten by all—all except the boy. Long past the time the little fellow was usually fast asleep his mother found him sobbing on his pillow. "Why, darling, what is the matter? Why aren't you asleep?" she asked. "My daddy is good, isn't he, Mother?" burst from his quivering lips.
The work of the minister is to make people happy, not sad; to strengthen the home, not weaken it; to encourage children to have greater love and respect for their parents, not less. Tenderly Jesus reminds us of our responsibility to the children by saying, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
Children and mentally disturbed individuals should never be deceived in any form or fashion. Of course, Seventh-day Adventist preachers of all people would never deliberately tell a falsehood to anyone, but many a conscientious pastor doing the very best he knows how has been regarded as a deceiver by the mentally ill. For example, symbolic language used so freely by us as a people—we are living down in the very toes of the image; this message should be scattered like the leaves of autumn—can be very disturbing when taken literally. Although these emotionally disturbed people may use symbolic language very profusely themselves, they can become greatly confused when we use it. "Give him enough rope and he will hang himself," is interpreted to mean that if I give him a hemp rope he will commit suicide. These people need simple, plain truth.
If a member of the church requires treatment in a mental hospital, should the patient be told the facts or "tricked" into going? Would it be advisable to lead a person to believe that you are merely taking him out for a little joy ride in your new car, but instead you take him to the hospital? Deceptions of this kind damage the patient and may retard his recovery for weeks or even months. Many mental patients feel so insecure and uncertain that any kind of deception on the part of friends or relatives tends to aggravate their condition. Much better to tell him plainly—not roughly, but frankly—where you are taking him, and why. In a kindly solicitous manner you can explain that just as a person with heart disease needs the services of a heart specialist, so his sickness requires special medical care also, and that you are taking him to the place where he will receive the best help for the disease from which he is suffering.
It is fortunate if the pastor is able to give these people a little "first aid," or at least knows what to do and what not to do. For example, when a person has some kind of emotional problem, it is a waste of time and money to tell him to quit his job and take a trip and forget it all. Running away from a problem will never solve it, no matter how far he may run or how long he may stay. Encourage him to face the facts and accept the inevitable, or find a satisfactory solution. Such remarks as, "That's all in your head," "Snap out of it," "Pull yourself together, man," and "Forget it," are like telling a drowning man, "The water is too deep for you there; go where you can touch bottom," or "Come up here on dry land where I am, and you will be all right." True enough, but the victim is doing all in his power to do just that thing, and he can't. He needs help.
What kind of first aid can the pastor give that will benefit? Here is a person who has prayed and prayed for forgiveness of sins but feels they are still recorded against him and will be until he has made a public confession of every secret wrong. We explain very simply and definitely that sin is deadly, that no matter what form it may take, it is always fatal. In order to have sin removed from our lives we must follow the directions of the Great Physician implicitly. Disease is not cured by giving it to someone else. Neither is secret sin cleansed from the soul by public confession. Public acts of disobedience that could affect others must be publicly confessed, but secret sins must be confessed to God alone. After our sins have been forgiven, God tells us that He will remember them no more; therefore, we do not ask over and over again for forgiveness of sins that have been confessed. Ministers should inform the people that Satan is the only one who reminds us of our confessed sins and mistakes. It is our duty to resist the devil.
Our people should be told the truth about the person who is critical, who has lost confidence in the brethren, who is always finding fault with others, who reveals the sins of the people. These people are advertising their own weaknesses and shortcomings. A gossiper seldom talks about the sins and mistakes he does not have himself. Therefore, one who is constantly calling attention to those who are seeking office may be an office seeker himself. For proof we might use Romans 2:1. This fact is well known to students of psychology. The easiest and best time to acquaint our people with this knowledge is in a public statement at the beginning of one's ministry in a district.
Another fact that our people should know is that a Christian is happy, cheerful, contented. People who are sensitive, suspicious, envious, jealous, cannot be happy or contented. Those who are thinking of others, praying for others, working for others, have joy and happiness at their command.
A discouraged person should know that no discouraging thought ever comes from heaven. Satan is the father of all discouragement. But God is omnipotent. His children will succeed; His kingdom will stand forever.
Yes, the minister is to tell the truth. "The truth shall make you free."
