As PROFESSIONAL men and women it is good occasionally to take a frank look at life. The role of the doctor or the minister in the community is unique.
Whether physicians, dentists, pastors, or evangelists, our influence is great, almost frightening at times. And we all recognize how difficult it is to maintain a balance between our professional, social, and spiritual life.
People everywhere are confused. The future seems uncertain. Never since the days of Noah has a generation been called to face such problems as confront us on every side today. It is, therefore, no ordinary accomplishment to exert a positive and constant influence for good in our communities. And that influence is determined by what we are in ourselves. But what we are in ourselves is largely the result of what we are in our homes. Building a house requires but a few months, but building a home is the work of a lifetime.
The Child Jesus in His Home
The only glimpse we have of Jesus in His earthly home is recorded by Luke, the beloved physician. We read: "The child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him" (Luke 2:40). Then in verse 51: "He went down with them [Joseph and Mary], and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them." How much is inferred in these brief words! Now note the next verse: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." He was a normal child developing mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. Phillips translates it: "And as Jesus continued to grow in body and mind, he grew also in the love of God and of those who knew him." *
He knew few material comforts, for His home was that of a peasant. But there was something in that home which meant everything to this growing Boy. While lacking the trappings of the wealthy, or even the middle class, it did not lack love. Many beautiful dwellings never become beautiful homes. They are lavish with fine fixtures and furnishings, but material things are not the most important. Beautiful pictures and well-placed ornaments may make the rooms attractive, but real happiness springs from the hearts of the occupants. Only people can make a home.
As professional men and women we cannot help influencing the community. But how? Do people see in our homes a reflection of heaven? Or are we so pressured with our work that we have little time for home and family? In the war years of the early 1940's many homes disintegrated. Instead of being places of love and fellowship, they were little more than places to sleep. A wit put it this way: "Father works the night shift, mother works the day shift, and the children shift for themselves." Life holds little when homes become mere filling stations where we fill up, clean up, then leave again as quickly as possible.
Love, not possessions, is the foundation of a real home and a lasting marriage. A woman does not have to be drenched in perfume nor draped in mink to know a man loves her. Marriage has been well called "the first two-party system of government ever devised, and it was never intended to be a one-party system." To understand family government is vital. Differences of opinion are bound to arise, but differences provide opportunities for growth.
The Other's Point of View
To see another's point of view is not always easy, nor does it come about naturally. To be one-sided is human. Someone has said:
"I see two points of view—
The one that is wrong and mine "
This is the forerunner of disaster. While it takes two to make a marriage, one can surely wreck it. Never has the world been so deluged with books on marriage and marriage counseling, yet broken homes seem the order of the day, leaving a trail of bitterness and sorrow.
When Israel came to Mara the waters were bitter. But Moses cast a branch into the water and sweetened it for all. Knowing how to cast the Branch of Righteousness into the bitter waters of selfishness and hate is the secret of real living.
Much has been written about the vital place of the mother, but the role of the father in the home, in building and holding it together, is also tremendous. He is the priest of the home, and as such, must understand the needs of the whole family. What we and our children are in the social realm is the reflection of what we are in the spiritual realm.
Man is a mysterious composite of body, soul, and spirit, and each area of his personality is to be subject to God. Paul says, "everything belongs to you . . . the world, life, death, the present or the future, everything is yours! For you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God!" (1 Cor. 3:23, Phillips).*
The concept of the Manicheans of earlier centuries was that the body is impure; only the soul is worth while. That was largely the foundation of Grecian philosophy. But in modern times men like Nietzsche and Freud regarded the soul as a myth. Many materialist philosophers and psychologists have ruled out the soul altogether. Civilization is trying today to build a society where the body is the only thing that counts. But when love is limited to the satisfaction of fleshly desires alone, it becomes a serpent, a spent force, a fallen star.
Only when the fire of love kindles other fires for God can our homes endure. Or to change the figure: only when love is willing to give the water of life from her wells, that the thirst of others may be assuaged, does it serve God's purpose. Otherwise it turns against itself, and ends in hatred and even murder.
These words from The Desire of Ages should challenge us: "Selfishness and cold formality have well nigh extinguished the fire of love, and dispelled the graces that should make fragrant the character. Many who profess His name have lost sight of the fact that Christians are to represent Christ. Unless there is practical self-sacrifice for the good of others, in the family circle, in the neighborhood, in the church, and wherever we may be, then whatever our profession, we are not Christians."—Page 504.
Love a Divine Instinct
Love was planted in the human heart by God Himself. And He gave it not for the gratification of selfish desire but that it may serve others. Even the intimate love between husband and wife should be an expression of a higher love—not the Eros of Greece but the Agape of heaven. When it is that, then as the years roll by, the love of God makes more fragrant the love in the home, not that the husband and wife will love each other the less but love God more. And it will be sacrificial. Only love that is touched by the cross can mount up to the throne. Such love will be vertical. If it remains on the horizontal plane it dies. Married love should be the vestibule of divine love. As ministers and physicians we are frequently called upon to be counselors in the problems of life; to give advice not only where it seems unwelcome but, because of resistance, practically impossible. Such situations are never solved on the intellectual level. We have to strike a deeper level—the emotional.
Thirty years ago a new trend in architecture was finding favor in England. For centuries houses had been built with small windows. And usually those were heavily curtained for privacy. But a radical change came when instead of tiny windows the whole wall was made of glass. Why? In order to let in the sunlight. London is known for gray days, and people began to feel the importance of capturing every ray of sunshine possible. Recognizing that sunshine is vital to health, people began to install large picture windows. But big windows not only enable people to see out; they also permit neighbors to see in. Thus the one-time cloistered family of England became a part of the community.
Those new designs were parables to me. There are times when we appreciate privacy, but like those new houses, our lives must also be open to the community and especially open for the sunlight of the presence of God. We cannot live our lives on only one level. Like our Lord, we must develop physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.
Setting the Pattern for our Children
Now let us turn our minds to our children. If they are to grow up to respect us, we must never forget that children are naturally hero worshipers. For the first few years father and mother seem almost divine. If we would have them hold that picture of us, we must never give occasion for them to lose confidence in us. As parents we must take care how we treat each other and behave before our families.
I was called to counsel with a little wife in trouble one day and she said: "But how can we ever get along? We are so different." Of course we are different. Men are men and women are women. We must take account of those differences. It has been said that women feel while men think. They may arrive at exactly the same conclusion, but it could well be by an entirely different route.
The very differences between us can be useful building blocks in the development of a real home. Differences in the areas of physique and mentality are what lend color to the home and add a richness to life. Let these be as snatches of poetry, thrown into the prose of everyday living. It is no small matter for a family to stand in an unbelieving community as God's representatives, living in obedience to His will.
There is a sign on a certain highway: "Slow Down. What Will You Do With the Half-Minute You Save?" Yes, slow down. Study the social and spiritual needs of your home and your community. The Scripture says: "God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things [that is the vertical], may abound to every good work [that is the horizontal]." A good bank account is an excellent asset for a family, but the greatest asset of all for a child is to know the joy and stability of a real home.
Our Outreach to the Community
It is easy, and perhaps more pleasant, but it is wrong for us to live to ourselves. Jesus said, "When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they klso bid thee again, and a recompense be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: and thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just" (Luke 14:12-14).
Note this comment in The Ministry of Healing, page 354: "These [the poor, the maimed, the lame] are guests whom it will lay on you no great burden to receive. You will not need to provide for them elaborate or expensive entertainment. You will need to make no effort at display. The warmth of a genial welcome, a place at your fireside, a seat at your home table, the privilege of sharing the blessing of the hour of prayer, would to many of these be like a glimpse of heaven."
To reach out to the community in this way is a privilege as well as a responsibility. Not long ago I baptized a fine businessman and his wife who were brought to a knowledge of God's message for this hour just because they lived next door to one of our physicians. The social contacts of this fine family so impressed these neighbors, who move in a prominent social strata, that they wanted to know what made them different. "We could feel the warmth and friendship of that fine doctor and his lovely family," they told me. The love of that godly home overflowing to the community was the greatest argument in favor of the truth. As Edgar Guest said: "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day."
(To be continued)
* From The New Testament in Modern English, © by J.B. Phillips 1958. used by permission of The Macmillan Company
