As a pastor, you may find yourself somewhat confused by the current variety of programs designed to build better marriages and happier homes. However, two programs in the Seventh-day Adventist Church have nationwide organizations, and leaders that conform quite closely to their respective models. They are Adventist Marriage Enrichment and the Adventist expression of Marriage Encounter (designated hereafter as "Enrichment" and "Encounter").
The two models have a number of things in common:
1. Both take the preventive approach. They seek to make good marriages better rather than try to rescue those on the point of shipwreck.
2. Both focus on spiritual oneness. God is made the center of all marital activity.
3. Both deal heavily in communication skills. Couples are taught how to share with each other, especially on a feeling level, in a way that will bring mutual understanding and intimacy.
4. Both teach conflict resolution. Couples learn how to be honest with each other, and yet loving, at the same time.
5. Both teach the value of affirmation and appreciation.
6. Both launch the experience with a weekend seminar from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.
7. Both continue the experience with follow-up chapters that meet periodically.
8. Both have a training program for seminar leaders.
Given such similarities, you might easily have some difficulty keeping the two programs straight, deciding in which you might wish to become a leader or which to foster in your local congregation. The following points should help you tell the difference:
1. Background. Encounter was adapted from a Catholic program and put into an Adventist structure by Al and Betty Brendel. Enrichment was originally a secular organization (Associated Couples for Marriage Enrichment) led by a Quaker couple, David and Vera Mace. It was adapted for Adventists by Ed and Letah Banks.
2. Methodology. In Encounter, prepared presentations are made to the entire group of couples. Then they go to their own rooms to write letters to each other and discuss the material presented and their feelings toward it. There is no group interaction. Enrichment uses group dynamics, in which the couples sit in a circle, share information, practice skills, and support and encourage one another.
3. Size. Encounter can take as many couples as can be seated in the presentation room and for which individual rooms can be provided. Because of the group interaction, Enrichment must be limited to no more than ten couples.
4. Structure. Encounter is well structured, with nearly every minute carefully planned. Enrichment is informal and flexible. Some structure is provided, especially in the early sessions, but the direction the seminar may take is deter mined greatly by the interests and concerns of the group.
5. Fellowship. Encounter encourages communication between husband and wife only (even while moving from meeting place to individual rooms). It desires the couple to concentrate on each other alone for the one weekend. Enrichment encourages group fellowship, sharing of experiences, praying with other couples, and mutual support.
6. Location. Encounter always takes place in a retreat setting where the couples have a private room and meals are provided. While Enrichment could easily function in this environment, the couples usually live at home and come in to the group meetings, which may be held in a school, church, or private home.
7. Cost. Because of the setting, Encounter costs considerably more to operate than does Enrichment. However, both programs charge only a nominal fee ($15 to $20 per couple), and no couple is excluded who cannot pay. Encounter raises the rest of its expenses by donations. Couples are informed of the actual cost and encouraged to donate to future weekends, though they are not obligated to do so.
8. Leadership. Encounter requires a team of four or five couples who can invest considerable time working together in program development. Therefore, it is usually found in larger Adventist centers where this kind of talent may be grouped. Enrichment needs only the leadership couple, and thus can be organized nearly anywhere.
The question is often raised, Which program is better? The answer depends on the people and the circumstances. The two programs are not in competition with each other. Both have the same aims, but use different approaches. Some people will not like Encounter because of its structure and "monastic" rules. They will find it very difficult to talk to their spouse alone, on a deep level, for a whole weekend. On the other hand, many will find it to be a life-changing experience.
Some will have nothing to do with Enrichment. They are leery of anything like a group experience and are unwilling to share themselves with others. Yet, many find not only their marriages but their entire Christian lives revitalized in such groups.
For the participant the question may well be: In which program will I feel more comfortable? For the pastor or other leader it may be: Which program better fits my personal leadership style? The church may ask: What resources do we possess to develop these programs?
