By the age of 6 (4?), they've heard it all. You get halfway through the Sabbath school lesson on Sunday evening and Brian says, "How come they left out the part about David trying on Saul's armor?" You have only five more nights to read the story . . .
By the age of 8, he's an energetic bundle of BOY whom every self-respecting church member recognizes as a preachers kid--a PK. He dislikes meetings, bathtubs, and girls. And convincing him to sit still for worship is like asking a bucking bronco to pause for a moment of contemplation before the rodeo. But his heart is soft and receptive toward his Jesus. For two years he has pleaded with you to baptize him. How much longer can you safely put him off?
By the age of 12, she knows more than you do--at least if you're her mother. Dads may still have a little edge on biblical knowledge. A typical question at our house: "Aw, Mom, you mean you can't remember who killed Goliath's brother?"
Spiritual discussions are common fare at your house. Just last week in Sabbath school I watched a visiting 10-year-old PK confront his teacher on her version of the nature of Christ. He quoted Scripture, Spirit of Prophecy, and probably Ol' Dad. They took a few moments as both delighted in the impromptu discussion--to the accompanying gaping stares of the class. Did you know your kids do that?
Your children are leaders. I used some earliteen girls as teachers in the children's program for evangelistic meetings. Other eyes were watching. One night the evangelist's 6-year-old scooted around the room during the program, gathering up miscellaneous items. When questioned, she announced, "I am going to tell a story." She proceeded to do so, certain that everyone would be spellbound.
Amazingly, everyone was. She had several handicaps. Her voice could barely be heard. She had no story only a series of questions: "What does Jesus remind you of?" Answer: "A shepherd." "What else did Jesus make?" Answer: "Flowers." But the children (ages 2-10) watched her intently and answered thoughtfully.
For a grand finale, she dramatically produced two pictures. They were identical pictures of the head of Jesus. Pointing to one, she solemnly intoned, "Now, who does this remind you of?" The children responded with corresponding gravity, "Jesus!"
Then, pointing to the second picture and by her voice indicating that momentous information was forthcoming, she asked, "And who does this picture re mind you of?" The children's attention never faltered. They gave no indication that they had seen that same picture only seconds before. Totally captivated, the children replied in unison, "Jesus!" "You did very, very well," she told them. "That's the end of my story."
Skills can be taught, but that indefinable something that separates a leader from a follower is already apparent in your children. You must understand that.
These, then, are the givens. Your child is special, and your job as spiritual teacher is particularly challenging. So now what do you do? I have four suggestions. I call them the Four D's for Special Worships.
Plan for DELIGHT
It is not enough to fall into worship. A program of Sabbath school lesson, prayer, and then bed will not do for 14 years.
When our children were tiny tots, we prepared a worship box with activities for a special program "just like Sabbath school." Besides the lesson, we had lots of action and participation with bells to ring, rainbows to wave, fruit to pick from the tree of life, etc.
The children's enthusiasm astonished us. Worship was instantly transformed into the most-looked-forward-to time of day. In fact, if you try this, you may have to hide the box, for your children will want to have worship 10 times a day.
We didn't hide ours, and I often found dolls, stuffed animals, and assorted neighbor kids enjoying worship under a tree or in a corner of the living room.
Prevent DOLDRUMS
Probably the doldrums is the biggest danger you face with your special kids. Boredom will hit PKs sooner and harder than other mortals. Transform boredom into a friend. Consider it a clue to broaden your scope, change your activities, find something new to teach. That's a big order when they get to junior age and already have heard twice everything you have to say. (Gulp--we've got to stretch our brains).
Closely related to boredom is the "I'm full" complex. Because of who you are and who they are, your children's spiritual pitchers will fill up sooner than most. To keep pouring it in will result in a sure case of religious dyspepsia. Turn your teaching around and help them pour their pitcher out.
Switch angles in your worships and focus on the skills and knowledge they need to help someone else. Their Enthusiasm Quotient will immediately triple.
You can do this with elementary-age children by playing "What if...?" Think up various situations they might meet, like "What if someone asked you why you believe in Jesus? What would you show him from your Bible?" Or "What if the neighbor kid asks you what's wrong with Alfred Hitchcock movies? Can you find an answer in your Bible?"
Teens will enjoy a similar activity; however, make it a role play, so someone is giving continued feedback. It's fun to think of the hardest questions as well as the best, most tactful answers.
We have had great fun making up Bible studies. At 7 our daughter loved to conduct a study, using texts written on slips of paper.
For our son we invented a Deep Sea Diving Chart on which to record the references we find. We pick a subject (e.g. Second Coming, music) and search out all our own texts with a concordance.
These are transferred from the Deep Sea Diving Chart to a Bible Study Planning Sheet arranged in the order of What? When? How? Why? Where? Who? He gives the study, ending with an appeal and a prayer. (Lest you think your kids can't handle this, let me tell you about the 24 third and fourth graders who did just this as a group, practiced on each other, and then went home to give studies to their parents, neighbors, and friends. Aha! That's 24 future church members who will never frustrate their pastor [you] with the line "But I could never give a Bible study.")
Encourage DISCOVERY
Discovery is the personal process of turning the unknown into the known. Once tasted, it is habit-forming and can lead your children down a golden path of delight.
But first you must lay one foundation stone: humility. Discovery is not teaching. Discovery is learning--together if possible. This may be the most difficult challenge a minister will face, simply because you already know the answers. Or is there infinitely more to learn? Can you ask questions and then listen respectfully to a 10-year-old's answer? Your example will plant the joy of discovery in your child's fertile mind.
Early on in our worship experiences the lowly concordance leaped to first place as a tool of discovery. It is like the street guide on a map of Los Angeles-indispensable until you know every street. Your child knows, before he's landed in his second parsonage bed, that there's a lot more in his Bible than regularly hits his eyeballs. A concordance matches up the brain, the eye and hand, and the Sacred Record.
For instance, at what age did your cherub first hear the story of David and Goliath? Now, at what age could he quickly find it in his Bible? How about Gideon? Or the giving of the manna? We devised a game using key words such as stone, bear, water, and pillar from Bible stories. We then raced through our concordances to find a Bible story (text) with that word in it. It wasn't long before we didn't need the concordance at all, except to find new stories.
One day shortly after his seventh birthday my son headed out to play with his neighborhood friend. I noticed a peculiar bulge in each pocket, and as mothers are prone to do, I waylaid him for an explanation.
He sheepishly returned and pulled a Bible from each pocket. "I'm taking them along," he said, "just in case someone asks me why we keep the Sabbath. I can show them from my Bible."
Knowing about the Bible simply cannot produce the same thrill as knowing the Bible and being able to find your way around in it.
Unexpected discoveries can be great fun. One night I studied with our daughter while my husband took our son into the kitchen and closed the door. We heard them switch the light off, and later the outside door banged. Sometime later Teddy came dashing in, saying, "Mommy, Mommy, guess what? My birthday present is in the Bible!"
They had decided to study light with a concordance by the light of his new flash light. Psalm 119:105 produced a surprise when The Living Bible said, "Your words are a flashlight to light the path ahead of me, and keep me from stumbling." They then went outside in the night to experience the text.
We have had lots of fun learning the chronology of Bible characters. Just make cards with a name on each one, and then try to put them in order. You can make this as difficult as you wish. We like discovering duplicate names and thus interesting people you rarely hear about. Like the three Jonathans. One hid in a well to escape the enemy, another killed a giant who had 12 fingers and 12 toes, and the third was you know who.
Current problems provide natural subjects for Bible study. If your child is being teased at school, lead him through texts that help him deal with the situation: doing good to your enemy, joy in tribulation, a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, etc. These texts changed my daughter's life in the second grade, and I have watched her practice them in difficult situations ever since.
Other problems could be difficulties with grades, loneliness, moving and leaving friends, pride, peer pressure. Be sure to make worship an exploring session, even though you may know the answers ahead of time.
Don't forget to DO
Activity brings spiritual as well as physical health and is a perfect antidote for boredom.
Plan a story hour for neighbor children. Take your youngsters with you to Bible studies. Make a "love list" of people they can call or help. Keep a shelf just for books to give away. Start a Gideon's Band Missionary Club with a few of their friends.
Give your teens the vision of a world to be won for Christ. Confront them with that world in the agony of despair and naked need. Visit the dirt-floor shack where a half-dressed baby shivers on the floor. Take sandwiches to street people. Give your own warm coat to one who has no shelter. Experiment with love. Taste the joys of sacrifice.
Immerse your children in life as Jesus lived it. Go with them in the footsteps of Jesus, and they will never be the same again.
And that is when you'll experience together that ultimate joy of special family worships the infilling of the Holy Spirit through Bible study and prayer, followed by the outpouring of blessing on a lost and dying world.
