The Bible tells us precious little about husband-wife team ministry. Aquila and Priscilla seem to be our only New Testament models, and we don't know much about them. But since the two-by-two concept was so basic to Jesus (Matt. 10:2-4; Mark 6:7; Luke 10:1), and since financial reality dictates that we will usually translate two-by-two as husband and wife, it's time we learned more about this kind of team ministry.
(I apologize for—in this article— always addressing pastors' spouses as women. Men whose wives are pastors have situations different enough to deserve separate treatment.) Most ministers' wives fall into one of five categories:
1. The resister. Her husband may have changed careers after their marriage. Or, if she did once dream of the ministry, her dream has become a night mare. Her husband seems to have more love and certainly more time for the church than for her. She sees the church as her competition.
2. The spectator. She feels the ministry is her husband's calling and not hers, and wishes she could be treated like any other member.
3. The partisan. This wife is willing to do anything her husband or church expects. Her commitment is commend able, but she's become a nonperson.
4. The manager. Stronger and possibly more gifted than her husband, she tends to run both him and the church.
5. The partner. This spouse represents the vast majority of pastors' wives. She's dedicated to team ministry, but in a way that fits her unique spiritual gifts and present situation in life.
As we define it here, team ministry occurs when pastor and spouse find cooperative ways, fulfilling to both, of ministering to their parish—whether the pastor's spouse spends much time or little in this ministry, and whether or not she gets paid for it.
Working wives
Precise statistics are not available, but we have probably come to the place where the church must realize that the majority of Adventist pastors' spouses around the world work outside the home and church. If she is secularly employed and/or if she has small children, the pastor's wife can spend only limited time working for the church.
A congregation's acceptance of their minister's wife, however, depends more on her attitude toward them than on the amount of time she works for them. If her circumstances don't allow her to spend as much time in team ministry as she would like, she can make up for it by being highly visible on Sabbath morning.
I recently watched a minister's wife ministering in the foyer between Sabbath school and church. She greeted the people, befriending them and leaving them smiling. Now, that isn't everyone's gift, but the wife who finds some visible way to minister on Sabbath will show the congregation she cares and is a part of the pastoral team. And it may take no time beyond what she spends in church already.
Helpful husbands
The wife who works outside the home holds down three jobs: homemaker, work place employee, and partner in team ministry. She likely works longer hours, under more stress, than her pastor-husband. It is unfair of him to share the rewards of her employment and team ministry if he's unwilling to share the responsibility of homemaking. This thought is a little shocking in some cultures, but any culture that changes to accept her working must change to accept his helping.
My father came from a European culture transplanted to a Dakota farm. Men and women both worked in the fields, but only women worked in the house.
Dad was a pastor. After he and Mother raised their children, she went back to teaching school. I was a little surprised and pleased to see that, when she went to work, he began helping with the dishes and doing more around the house. I remember his deciding, "No body should have to make a double bed alone. It's inefficient."
Some pastors, however, are going to the other extreme and becoming regular baby sitters while their wives work. On a recent overseas trip, a union president and treasurer came to me wrestling with the possibility of paying ministers' wives a stipend just for staying home so the pastors would get out and do their church work.
One pastor's wife couldn't get her husband to take the time to talk about a significant problem. Yet she knew he found time to talk with others. So she borrowed a friend's apartment and, using an assumed name, made an appointment with the church secretary for the husband to pay a pastoral visit to that address. She got the visit. And he got the message!
Team togetherness results from time togetherness. Successful husband-wife team ministry requires time for re-commitment to your spouse, your ministry, and especially your Lord. You'll love the work of the Lord when you love the Lord of the work.
