Every pastor is unique and has unique needs. So, a one-size-fits-all kind of ministerial approach to pastors who are hospitalized simply does not work, nor would we even attempt it. As hospital chaplains, we always try to tailor our ministry to a sick pastor's personality, spirituality, and the circumstances surrounding his or her hospitalization.
The fact is that pastors are certainly not exempt from the need to be hospitalized. We regularly see them admitted to our hospital or other hospital facilities for a variety of reasons.
In recent years, for example, we know of pastors who have been hospitalized for by pass surgery, congestive heart failure, and pneumonia. They regularly come in for chemotherapy and radiation therapy to treat cancer. Pastors are involved in motor-vehicle accidents and other kinds of accidents which can sometimes result in long-term hospitalization. For example, one of our clergy colleagues, a fellow hospital chaplain, became a quadriplegic following a diving accident over thirty years ago and still deals with chronic infections and skin breakdown.
Pastors are hospitalized because of abdominal pain, prostate problems, aneurysms, strokes, and uncontrolled diabetes. They come in for cardiac workups which may include heart catheterizations and stress tests.
Sometimes, the hospitalization is a direct result of substance abuse and/or mental illness, and even burnout. The truth is that pastors are not immune from illness.
The challenge of the context and convalescence
While all of these negative health situations give rise to diverse medical needs and corresponding treatments, they also bespeak a common concern: how to acknowledge and support each pastor during and after hospitalization. A primary and critical component of that common concern is the context of their being hospitalized. We need to look at the context before we offer any concrete suggestions for ministering to a sick pastor.
When a pastor is sick or injured and hospitalized, he or she experiences a major shifting of roles. One pastor expressed it this way in a newspaper interview about his bishop going into long-term treatment for leukemia: "The difficulty in coping with something like this is during the 20 years he has been here, he has been a man of tireless effort and energy. . . . We have come to take for granted his overall health. It's only when something like this happens that we recognize the reality of our own mortality. He has been very healthy. I'm sure it has taken the wind out of his sails. He has a very arduous path with respect to the treatment ahead of him.... His biggest difficulty will be stepping away from his responsibilities here and stepping into his role as patient."
This "stepping away from" and "stepping into" means going from health to sickness, from being a healer to being the one in need of healing, from being pillar of strength and support to a position of weakness and vulnerability.
It means changing from conversation leader/participant to feeling not up to expending energy in conversation, and yet perhaps also feeling a sense of failure for not being able to converse. It means feeling down about losing a leadership role and the sense of self-esteem that accompanies it.
A hospitalized pastor shifts from the role of caregiver to one of care receiver. He or she may find it extremely difficult to ask for or to accept help from others certainly the loss of one's personal independence does not come easily. Such a pastor may be going from a successful organizer of ministry to becoming a disappointed, frustrated, or angry victim of disrupted plans and schedules. We have witnessed all three reactions among hospitalized pastors.
Questions to be addressed
As we stated above, every hospitalized pastor is unique with unique needs. Accordingly, a number of questions should be addressed before any visitation is proposed or attempted.
Is the pastor's health condition recoverable, potentially recoverable, or terminal? Does the pastor have family, a close colleague, or some person who has Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care someone to serve as a surrogate spokesperson for medical affairs, if necessary? If so, that person probably will need to be consulted regarding visitors.
Has the pastor stated a preference regarding visitors who and how many, if any at all? Nursing staff and hospital security personnel can facilitate any limitation on visiting, if needed. Sometimes a pastor may need "permission" from hospital staff such as a doctor, nurse, or chaplain to know that at times it is necessary and appropriate to limit visitation.
It is important to determine whether a pastor is able to communicate or not, confused or not. Is dementia present? If so, is it slight, mild, or severe?
Has the pastor been hospitalized for preventative diagnostic testing, minor surgery, or critical illness/injury? Is the hospital stay going to be short- or long-term? Is the hospitalization going to be local or out-of-area? Is the pastor young, middle-aged, or of senior status? Is he or she newly assigned or longtime established?
A final question of context might address whether a given visitation is being done out of genuine concern or mere curiosity.
These questions and issues of con text need to be evaluated beforehand, if visiting a pastor is going to be not only reality-based and appropriate but also effective and beneficial in terms of conversation and prayer. It is important to know whether a visitor converses and prays about a this-world recovery or final, eternal healing.
Who should visit the hospitalized pastor?
When it comes to visitation by church members, some hospitalized pastors enjoy them and welcome them. They have a kind of open-door policy, where any church member is welcome. The hospital room practically becomes an extension of the parish office sometimes to the detriment of the patient. We have seen hospital staff having to intervene to put a stop to the flood of visitors who were doing the sick pastor more harm than good by their presence.
On the other hand, some hospitalized pastors consider visits by church members an intrusion and actually do not want them. They may be too polite to say so, but the truth is, they resent them. They want and need their privacy during their time of sickness, and the fact is, they have every right to this position. Sometimes they simply are too sick to have visitors and need to conserve their energy.
When it comes to visiting a sick pastor, some churches carefully control who shall visit, thereby limiting the number of people who go to the hospital. Often, pastors are grateful for this approach. The congregation usually wants to know how the pastor is doing, so many churches use the church bulletin or parish newsletter for health updates, always with the pastor's permission.
Visits by fellow clergy are also viewed differently by different pastors. Some hospitalized pastors enjoy these visits, look forward to them, and encourage them. Others, how ever, want visits only from a superior such as a district superintendent or bishop and perhaps a few close clergy friends, and no one else. For such a pastor, less is really more the fewer clergy visitors, the better.
Making the pastor's hospital stay better
We offer the following suggestions designed to make a sick pastor's hospital stay smoother and better.
First, do not automatically assume that a pastor wants to be visited. He or she may want the time spent in the hospital to be a private experience for the most part. Hospitals are places where a person's privacy is often com promised, and having people looking on, even if they are well-meaning, can only make a difficult situation even harder. Often, the only thing a hospitalized pastor desires is to have the prayers of the congregation and his or her privacy respected.
If visits are allowed they need to be kept short and during hospital visiting hours. Sometimes church members visit their pastor long after visiting hours, thus preventing the pastor from resting and sometimes disturbing a roommate as well.
We need to be aware, too, of telephone overuse. Some hospitalized pastors are not visited in person by church members, but the telephone in their rooms keeps ringing. Once again this prevents the pastor from getting much-needed rest, and there may be a need to help the pastor limit his phone calls.
Prayer for a sick pastor is always something good and desirable, but prayer does not necessarily warrant a trip to the hospital. We frequently remind patients, families, and visitors that prayer knows no geographical boundaries. It can reach anywhere and everywhere.
When anyone is in hospital little things can mean a lot. Cards, letters, flowers, and photos last far longer than a conversation. They can be valuable signs of support and provide ongoing encouragement to a sick pas tor, even long after being discharged from the hospital.
The pastor's family is also likely to need some attention, especially if the pastor is sick for a long period of time. Members of a church can be of great assistance by providing such things as food, babysitting services, snow removal or lawn maintenance, and other kinds of help. When in doubt, ask the family, especially the pastor's spouse, what is needed.
When a pastor is hospitalized, rumors can run rampant, and some times even gossip may rear its head. Unfortunately, on occasion we have seen one or both originate with the sick pastor's clergy colleagues.
Both rumors and gossip tend to travel with the speed of wildfire and can do immeasurable harm. Both are difficult to stop once they start, so all who know the sick pastor have a moral obligation to practice what has sometimes been referred to as "the ministry of holding your tongue." A sick pastor and his or her family are likely to be overloaded with stress. Having to fend off rumors or gossip only makes their coping even harder.
Awareness of what the pastor might face
It is important to remember too, that a serious sickness can sometimes change people. Depression, for example, is a frequent companion of sickness, and since depression is a whole-person event, a sick pastor may be affected not just physically and emotionally, but also spiritually.
Sick pastors commonly report that they find it difficult to pray. Especially during a prolonged illness, they may even experience a crisis of faith during which God seems distant or even absent a phenomenon sometimes referred to as "the dark night of the soul." Pastors who are ill often identify in a special way with the sufferings of Jesus in Gethsemane and on the cross, and are able to come to a renewed appreciation of their ministry to God's people.
As chaplains, we find that pastors need pastoral care during such times. They need compassion, understanding, gentle encouragement, and especially, someone to listen to them in a nonjudgmental way, as chaplains are trained to do. They do not need to be told that, if they had more faith, they would quickly recover, or to be made to feel guilty about being depressed and discouraged. They need to be loved and accepted for who they are, where they are at, and affirmed at every opportunity.
Sometimes, too, pastors will need help in facing their limitations and their own personal mortality, since for some seriously sick pastors, recovery is unlikely. At other times they may need support in facing and making lifestyle changes that are conducive to good health.
We find that the psalms are particularly valuable prayer aids during sickness. For example, echoing the words of Psalm 130, a sick pastor can truly pray, "Out of the depths I have cried to You, LORD; Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplication" (NKJV). Perhaps more than any other prayer form, psalms capture the range of moods a pastor may experience during hospitalization.
When the pastor returns home
Give the pastor a chance to recuperate after returning home. If he or she has gone through major surgery or a serious illness, a full recovery may take months. We have seen pastors rehospitalized, because they returned to an active ministerial life before they were completely ready. Recovery takes time.
Similarly, keep your expectations of a recovering pastor realistic. He or she may experience reduced energy levels and function in a less-than-optimal fashion for a long period of time. Don't expect things of a recuperating pastor that he or she cannot produce. Overly high and unrealistic expectations only lead to frustration on the part of the pastor and every one else as well.
In conclusion, because of who and what they are as ministers of the gospel of Jesus Christ, all pastors are looked upon as healers. When pastors are hospitalized, however, they take on a new identity. Now, they are wounded healers. Depending upon the nature of the illness, a hospitalization may represent a genuine turning point in the life of a pastor. Hospitalization can bring times of tribulation, testing, but also triumph. It can be a sacred time in which God's hand upon the pastor is very evident.
The two of us as hospital chaplains are careful to respect a pastor's dignity during and after hospitalization. We never approach a pastor with our own agenda. Instead, we try to listen and learn, and take our cues from what is being said by both the pastor and the family. In our visits to hospitalized pastors, we see ourselves as privileged instruments of God's healing power, and we are always aware of the possibility that either of us could be the next patient in a hospital bed.
